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Take much of what Psycho says with a grain of salt.

First off, why do you care if anyone fusses over you hating your parents? Anyone who does isn't really going to help you. They're the "wow you shouldn't hate your parents and I'm not going to do anything about your situation" type.

Anyway, parents. Yeah, family and parents are probably the toughest people to deal with. I'll start with saying that you have to understand your parents' motivations. They want what they think is best for you. This may not be what you think, what I think, or what anyone thinks is best for you, but what they think.
This, of course, also has limits. Taking out the garbage or doing the laundry might not be the best thing for you to do, but they need to get it done. They may think sending you to an Ivy League school is the best thing for you, but they need money too.

As for, you, Mr. Fist... you really should just try a serious talk with your mom. Did you ever stop what you were doing and take some time to politely ask why she's yelling at you all the time? Perhaps a confrontation is in order. I'm going to emphasize you need to be calm during such an encounter... if tempers flare, within the family is going to be the place. Backwards as it seems, when getting involved, people tend to be nicer to total strangers than their own family. Sit down, remain calm, and try to reason with her.

Thanks for the advice, all stuff i've done. Except that whole confontation thing but I can predict the outcome. None of them worked. She's loud in public and enjoys screaming at me the most at that time.
I already know why she screams at me in personal, my sister found out. She was 9ish and asked why we had me (As a joke) and the response was "I never wanted to" so basically for some reason she kept me even though she never wanted me in the first place. She's refered to me a demon child and I hear numerous times "Why can't you be more like your sister". Always a morale booster. I remember one scenrio where I didn't return a rented game on time and she had to pay 7 dollars, and she screamed at me for 30 minute straight, I was 7. That sounds like a great mother to me.

I guess it's the thought that counts, thanks anyway, I think my only hope is to survive 3 years and move to a dorm.

Could it hurt to try?

Well, from what I'm reading it sounds like this crap has been going on for a long time. Thus, she has no intentions to stop, and she's being very immature by considering you a "mistake". I think you need to gently but firmly start asserting yourself. Start small, but gradually build up the message that you no longer with to take her crap and you're going to stand up for yourself.

Loads.

I've basically been and detestable human being to her now, she stops talking to me now. She has certain days where she just wants to talk to me like she actually cares about me, those last a few hours before yelling at me again. At least now she stops talking to me all together.

Asserting yourself doesn't mean "being a destestable human being". That leads to her getting more pissed off, resentful, and a whole slew of nasty things... which leads to you being more nasty. Hopefully you've noticed a painful downward spiral here. There's right and wrong ways to do things. There were some key words in my last post... "gently but firmly". But, you seem to have a fury of emotions in any dealings with your mothers... which is not going to help unless you handle yourself well.

I hope you're not talking to me.

I hate them for other reasons as well. My dad is a controlling psychotic dude. I wouldnt even call him human, but o well. and my mom i dont -hate-, but she was gonna leave my dad a long time ago and didnt for my sake or some bullcrap like that and im like 'nah, you can probably do better on your own, honestly, he doesnt work, he has no income, another mouth to feed...', but my mom is sorta submissive and....ugh.

I didnt mean for it to sound like 'waaah i cant go to a party waaah'.

It's not like I go up to her and punch her in the face and start laughing. It's more like giving stale answers for instance, in the rare occasion she asks me how my day was. I would say "The Same". And the conversation will be over.
That's about as far as it goes, I don't close the door in her face or anything.

I have a little girl and I always say this...

If you have never been hated by your child, then you were never a parent.

Anyway, I could always tell my parents hated me, my bath toys were a radio and a toaster. Discipline is a great way to show that you care for a child. My parents were happy to know I joined the Army, but they were somewhat happy that I hated it even more.

Well then Golden, it looks like your life is hopeless with your mother. Hate her with a passion. For every piece of advice we give, you just seem to counter it saying that you know what will happen or you've already tried, even though I have doubts about that. Personally, your case doesn't sound as bad as most people I know or heard. Besides, how many more years do you have to live with her? A couple more years? Here's an idea: record (sound or video) your life for a day, just to show us how bad you have it. Maybe I'll be proven wrong as far as my assumptions go.

Alright well, my 2 canadian cents (about 1.8 american cents... bless google )...

As for the daily things you need to do as a "personal slave", meh, that likely can't be too bad, as psycho mentioned, think farm kids. It will also build you up to be more responsible in the future (trust me on that one).

However, at the same time, the issue one should be worried about here is the "psychological" effect if you will, the constant harassment, negative behaviour, etc. (as per your description)...

When it comes to that, you'll likely need conforntation. You don't seem to have an issue with you father, so you might actually want to see what he has to say on the subject, he does likely bear witness to most of this, and can likely help you out as well...

When dealing with you mother in general, I'd say just keep your cool, and don't let it get to you. I know that's easier said than done, but that's likely also something you'll need to work on...

Sooner or later, (preferabely sooner), you might really want to confront her on this directly. Now remember, this will likely be an argument, so get your facts straight. Stay calm, and don't let emotions run you. Also don't be taken by emotional appeals. I guess the bottom line is, try to get everything out there systematically as best as you can, and go point by point. You can likely reach something eventually...

As a side note, don't bother arguing the small points of having to "do stuff" she asks you, as noted, that's nothing, so don't worry about it. The issue you're having at hand seems to be her general attitude towards you, which is what you need to focus on...

i also hate my parents...they never lisiten to me....

What?

And @ Yoni:

---

You're wrong about [/line]your two cents, but I do have to agree with you. Make a 'battle plan', and don't let emotions run you. Know what you're going to say and put it out.

Edit, wow I feel like an ass. I read the link wrong, and translated from american to canadian, not vice versa.

That's not verbal abuse at all. My mom does that to me, and I still don't hate her for it. Hell, sometimes I'm an ass and deserve it. Sometimes I'm an ass and she'll punch me, but honestly, it's my mom. I can jsut shrug it off and get on with my life.

I'm pretty sure it's very relvant judging on my posting style on SEN. (AKA, being a complete detestable human being)


Ok i'll give you the scnerio of confronting my mom at any give moment anywhere:
1. We'll gather together
2. We'll attempt to say something that points out her bad attitude towards, everything living
3. Before we finish our sentances she screams at the top of our lungs how we hate her and everyone gangs up on her
4. I try my hardest not say "Yeah that's right now go fall off a cliff whore"
5. I suceed
6. My life is crappier than before

I've had semi confrontation, with basically me and my sister, telling her she's always yelling at us for a reason we can't see. And she yells even more and starts critising us for yelling back when she yelled at us. My dad is a lazy bum, I don't hate him because he doesn't do anything. It's not like he's the best father figure either, so any chance of his envolvment is very small.

I have 3 left (Not including this summer) that still leaves basically 15 years (Not counting my young young ages) of neagtive attitudes, and screaming all the time. And I'm sort of tired of people saying "Other people have it worse" that's great. That doesn't mean my situation sucks any less.

It means that it sucks less than the people who have it worse, does it not?

First of all, you can't let it affect your general outlook. That's also easier said than done, but if you don't, you're only screwing yourself. Leave the bad moods at home, go outside, walk, breathe some fresh air, enjoy life outside the home, etc. etc.



Then don't go for the major confrontation I guess. Confront her as the occasion rises on what you find is going wrong (ie, she yells, then stop her, and ask why she is yelling, or why she is acting the way she is). Stay cool and dont respond emotionally. If she gets emotional or out of hand, walk away calmly. When it happens again, repeat.

It sounds like your mom is using her yelling and screaming to manipulate and control you. You absolutely must remain unaffected by it and simply and quietly walk away whenever she starts yelling. Politely and simply demonstrate that you won't stand for it.
Then when you confront her, she starts with the innocent and guilt trip act. Same goes for that with the yelling. Perhaps even gently remind her that she's guilt tripping you and that it isn't going to work any more. <-- Do NOT say that in the wrong way.

I don't hate my parents except my dad for beating my mom and me back in the day. Now most things are ok just when my step dad hears things though he goes through this back in my day thing. Well back in his day things were black and white.

Hatred comes from the heart; contempt from the head; & neither feeling is quite within our control. Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.

If you hate your parents, the man or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do. Hatred is a feeling which leads to the extinction of values.

People hate their parents for increasingly stupid reasons, because most children think that they have the right to recieve everything they want in life and if they get anything else they think that they are the only ones to ever go through it in the history of the planet and believe that they have it so bad off they should commit suicide. Be glad that you weren't born to a drunkard who smashes a bottle on your head for fun and sends you to school with a broken bone every day. Unless your parent is physically hurting you, it's not serious and the most likely possibility is that it is just hormones. [/end rant]

If you hate your parents then just deal with it, it will make you prepared for the near future.

sometime we hate our parents but if you really think about it, they just want the best for you...even though they might not go about it the best way!

It's hard to believe it, but your parents were once kids, too. It might seem like they don't understand you - but don't give up. Remember that they don't really want to make things difficult for you. Your parents care about you, but sometimes it's just hard for them to easily see your point of view.

A parent's job is to look out for you and keep you safe - until you're old enough to take care of yourself (and some parents have trouble giving up watching out for you even then)!

Usually, kids who fight with their parents learn to get along with them eventually. This is especially true if kids are able to talk to their parents about how they feel and what's important to them.

Keep in mind, though, that this can take time and a lot of patience. It's not always easy. Talking to your parents about your opinions - instead of screaming and yelling at them - will also make them listen to you a little more closely. Plus, you'll gain respect and learn how to compromise with them.

Some times it is, some times it isn't. That simple.

But do keep in mind that there a lot of teenagers and kids that love to complain about stupid crap as if people care. God I can't wait till I'm 20. 6 more months, then my age will lose the word teen in it.