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Staredit Network -> Lite Discussion -> Right age to get a girl/boyfriend
Report, edit, etc...Posted by smasher25 on 2006-10-27 at 01:40:24
Hm age 14-15 is winning!?! I really dont think that's mature enough though because I'm fourteen and I dont feel any REAL love just lust and infatuation to be exact.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Ultimo on 2006-10-27 at 01:50:25
Whatever you think you are and add a good ten years and that seems like a pretty decent number.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)Excalibur on 2006-10-27 at 14:45:19
QUOTE(smasher25 @ Oct 27 2006, 12:40 AM)
Hm age 14-15 is winning!?! I really dont think that's mature enough though because I'm fourteen and I dont feel any REAL love just lust and infatuation to be exact.
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Its a good sign that your mature enough to say that. smile.gif

QUOTE(Ultimo @ Oct 27 2006, 12:50 AM)
Whatever you think you are and add a good ten years and that seems like a pretty decent number.
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How can anyone know you better then you know yourself? huh.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)7-7 on 2006-10-27 at 17:25:18
Haha, STARS, you just completely owned them both. Ya, hopefully someone know what age they think should be good when it is their opinion, also anyone can copy! I think that 14 - 16 is the best, considering this is when I started getting really into it.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by NerdyTerdy on 2006-10-28 at 20:46:40
I didn't vote because I think you should have a boyfriend/girlfriend whenever you're mature enough to handle it.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by EviL on 2006-10-29 at 00:17:39
I voted 15-16 because that's the age I got a girlfriend. I'm still with her today.

But seriously, it really depends on each person's personality. Some people are more mature at 16 than others. So it all depends IMO.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by smasher25 on 2006-11-02 at 01:59:38
I should've added an "any age you want option" it seems like quite a bit of people
want to choose that option.

QUOTE(Mp)7-7 @ Oct 27 2006, 04:25 PM)
Haha, STARS, you just completely owned them both.  Ya, hopefully someone know what age they think should be good when it is their opinion, also anyone can copy!  I think that 14 - 16 is the best, considering this is when I started getting really into it.
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I'm not getting into it if you know what I mean. I thought 16-18 is when you're really mature not in the 14 range, but I dont know that much its probably just me i"m taking about.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by DT_Battlekruser on 2006-11-02 at 10:30:30
QUOTE
I should've added an "any age you want option" it seems like quite a bit of people
want to choose that option.


Most people "want to" long before they are mature enough to have a relationship.

All that "gee, check out her boobs/ass" is evident proof of such. Honestly, the sentiment is that it doesn't have to do with age, but maturity, and mental maturity comes to different people at different times.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-11-02 at 11:48:54
The apparant age of "readiness" still doesn't stop most people who are "unready" from doing it anyways. And there are many people who never have the chops for a healthy relationship at any time in their lives.

I'm just trying to instill some optimism, as always. tongue.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by BeeR_KeG on 2006-11-02 at 13:40:46
Having a formal girlfriend before you are self sufficient (not on a economical sense) is a waste of time.

Most High School relationships are just that, you see each other at school, talk on the phone, go to the movies on fridays and that's about it. If you still have to rely on your mom to get you to places, then you really can't do much, as you can't express yourself to your full potential because you do not have transportation.

I've had my share of little High School Relationships that never lasted more than 2 months. We barely did anything real and you never think about tommorow. All you thought about was being with the person, nothing else. That is what I call liking someone.

Love is much different, as I'm currently experiencing. I have the liberty, the car and the economical means to attend her, like going out with her and such at any given moment, given that I have the time. She once called me at 11PM to help her study math and I raced over to her house. I want her to pass all her classes, it does better for the both of us. None of us have gotten sick or had an accident yet, but I'll bet that either of us will race over to the other. We barely talk on the phone, partly because I don't like phone conversations. She drinks, definetly drinks more than I do and I give her the excuse that I don't want to drink a lot that night, just to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid.

Yesterday I didn't see her at our usual lunch time, but I did find a friend of her's that introduced us so we sat down toghether and eat. I called her by phone and asked her to come over to eat with us, since all 3 of us have never been toghether in a while. She said she was studying so I urged her to stay there and study, I will go there in a bit to help her out and I'll deliver your salute to our friend.

Love is much more than liking a person, you watch out for them, you help them get the best out of things. You know that both your lives depend on the other's succeses, failures and life.

You can't really experience all the things there are to offer at such a young age, you have so many limitations that it hinders greatly a relationship. How many times you couldn't go out with him/her because his/her parent's didn't let her? The relationship is strictly managed by both your parents, wether you like it or not and wether you notice or not.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-11-02 at 14:09:25
Be careful, man. The last girl I thought I loved liked to drink alot. She especially liked to get smashed at parties. This was a bit of a delimma for me, because I don't drink at all. Of course, this proved to be one of the hurdles that we couldn't get over together. Stupid addictive relationships.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)Excalibur on 2006-11-02 at 14:21:28
QUOTE(BeeR_KeG @ Nov 2 2006, 01:40 PM)
Love is much more than liking a person, you watch out for them, you help them get the best out of things. You know that both your lives depend on the other's succeses, failures and life.

You can't really experience all the things there are to offer at such a young age, you have so many limitations that it hinders greatly a relationship. How many times you couldn't go out with him/her because his/her parent's didn't let her? The relationship is strictly managed by both your parents, wether you like it or not and wether you notice or not.
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Beer,
You have some points you made that i really respect, and others i dont quite agree with but you have grounds for anyway.

First id like to say congratulations, and that im very happy that you have someone that you truely love. It is a rare thing indeed.

Second, yes parents do restrict the relationship a bit. And so does not being able to drive, or not having a job. But these were, and still are, in my case minor setbacks. Im 14, and i have a job. I cant drive, true, i do depend on my parents for transportation. But the parents do not have control over the one thing that is so the point: Love. Parents may restrict how much you get to see eachother, but when it comes down to it, if the love is there, and its real, then you can handel and manage a working, good relationship around such and obstacle.

I agree very much with the first part that i quoted. And i do partly agree with the begining of the second. Parents can manage all they want, but i believe if it is a true, loving, and good relationship that both people want to make work, then it will.

My best friend got a girlfriend last year. I dont see him as much as id like, but i let it go because ive seen them together. Ive seen the things they do for eachother and the effort they put in to their relationship. And it inspires me. It makes me feel that there is more love in the world then people realize. Theyre both my age, and i feel my friend is not as mature as i am, but it still gives me that hope. True they havent been together very long, and it may fall apart tomorrow. It may not. It may continue for a long time to come. Do i think it will last forever? End of highschool? No. But i believe they are in love and that when the relationship they have does end, theyll have learned from it, and become better people because of it.

Call me insane, optimistic, or a rather dull kid, but thats how it appears to me.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by BeeR_KeG on 2006-11-02 at 18:39:49
QUOTE(Doodan @ Nov 2 2006, 03:09 PM)
Be careful, man. The last girl I thought I loved liked to drink alot. She especially liked to get smashed at parties. This was a bit of a delimma for me, because I don't drink at all. Of course, this proved to be one of the hurdles that we couldn't get over together. Stupid addictive relationships.
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I know, that's one of the main reasons I will try as hard as possible not to get drunk. First, God knows what would happen with a crazy drunk girl like that and me doing my thing. Second, it gives me the chance, if she remembers what happens during the night, which she does since she talked to me about almost everything, to make sure she noticed that I'm looking out for her.

QUOTE
I agree very much with the first part that i quoted. And i do partly agree with the begining of the second. Parents can manage all they want, but i believe if it is a true, loving, and good relationship that both people want to make work, then it will.


I understand your point, and I know I didn't conclude mine. I know you can love her, but I know that a common reason for failed relationships is that sometimes they don't see each other as often as needed and interest may start slipping away, as has happened to me in the past.

I'm not trying to convince anyone to do what I've done, hell, I've always been the one who was discouraged by the drinking type, all that I'm trying to do is to get myself and others to look from different points of view.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by DT_Battlekruser on 2006-11-02 at 18:50:06
QUOTE(Doodan @ Nov 2 2006, 09:48 AM)
The apparant age of "readiness" still doesn't stop most people who are "unready" from doing it anyways. And there are many people who never have the chops for a healthy relationship at any time in their lives.

I'm just trying to instill some optimism, as always. tongue.gif
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Yes, and hence the divorce rate in America is something like 50%. People do it when they're not ready, and get their life censored.gif ed for their troubles.

QUOTE
Love is much different, as I'm currently experiencing. I have the liberty, the car and the economical means to attend her, like going out with her and such at any given moment, given that I have the time. She once called me at 11PM to help her study math and I raced over to her house. I want her to pass all her classes, it does better for the both of us. None of us have gotten sick or had an accident yet, but I'll bet that either of us will race over to the other. We barely talk on the phone, partly because I don't like phone conversations. She drinks, definetly drinks more than I do and I give her the excuse that I don't want to drink a lot that night, just to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid.

Yesterday I didn't see her at our usual lunch time, but I did find a friend of her's that introduced us so we sat down toghether and eat. I called her by phone and asked her to come over to eat with us, since all 3 of us have never been toghether in a while. She said she was studying so I urged her to stay there and study, I will go there in a bit to help her out and I'll deliver your salute to our friend.

Love is much more than liking a person, you watch out for them, you help them get the best out of things. You know that both your lives depend on the other's succeses, failures and life.


Very true, but be sure that a lack of the physical means of expression does not ultimately preclude love. One can start a relationship that develops later when self-sufficiency appears, but this is certainly very rare.

It is plausible that a couple can be in love without the freedom and self-sufficiency, but usually only if both lack the self-sufficiency; there can be mutual pity for the lack of it which stabilizes the relationship.

Really though, you can't better explain love than that.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by xszerg on 2006-11-04 at 00:10:11
well i say that 12-13 would be the best time because u could get knowledge on how to get and work on and keep a relationship i mean i had a girlfriend in 1st grade and well we didnt no what to do we held hands sat together but we had no intention of kissing or anything like taht but 12-13 stuff starts happening but just preparing for highschool.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kookster on 2006-11-04 at 01:22:09
I say 18-and up is a fine time cause before 18 sorry youngins you just arent(most of the time) mature enough. Tho I do admit there are those who are mature enough but look at it this way, when you walk do a school hall how does the average person act? Think about that and then think about how long the average relationship lasts that start for someone at an age below 18, usually not very long. My true opinion is, its up to you, but if you want to not screw things up and want something truely meaningful wait until you have matured enough to hold a meaningful relationship.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2006-11-04 at 05:53:00
QUOTE(DT_Battlekruser @ Nov 2 2006, 11:50 PM)
Yes, and hence the divorce rate in America is something like 50%.  People do it when they're not ready, and get their life censored.gif ed for their troubles.

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I don't think it's always a case of them not being ready, I think it's a case of them having unrealistic expectations of marriage. In fact, I think a lot of people today have these expectations. Unfortunately for them, they'll find out that marriage is hard work (but ultimately rewarding if you stick at it) and because they're lazy, look for someone else. People today want instant results, and when they don't get them they immediately assume that something is wrong.

I did have a definition of love but I've half-forgotten it, which is a bit worrying.
It's definitely not infatuation or 'being crazy' about someone - it's a feeling of reassurance - that everything's going to be ok so long as you're together. It's being 100% comfortable in their company - being able to tell them things you wouldn't tell anyone else. Above all, love is the closest possible friendship combined with emotional attachment and physical attraction. It all has to be mutual too. Without all these factors it isn't love.

Out of interest, DTBK, have you ever been in love? It's just that your description of it seems very mechanical and distant, like you think it's 'something other people do.'
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-11-04 at 06:24:01
QUOTE(CaptainWill @ Nov 4 2006, 05:53 AM)
I don't think it's always a case of them not being ready, I think it's a case of them having unrealistic expectations of marriage. In fact, I think a lot of people today have these expectations. Unfortunately for them, they'll find out that marriage is hard work (but ultimately rewarding if you stick at it) and because they're lazy, look for someone else. People today want instant results, and when they don't get them they immediately assume that something is wrong.
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Also, for nearly all of human existence, most marriages were arranged in order to best serve the community and keep the peace between territories, not because of who was "in love" with eachother. The modern trend of "marrying for love" is very very new, and obviously has many pitfalls.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2006-11-04 at 08:24:51
QUOTE(Doodan @ Nov 4 2006, 11:24 AM)
Also, for nearly all of human existence, most marriages were arranged in order to best serve the community and keep the peace between territories, not because of who was "in love" with eachother. The modern trend of "marrying for love" is very very new, and obviously has many pitfalls.
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Yeah, I was going to mention that in cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, people have lower expectations of marriage and the divorce rate is lower.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by DT_Battlekruser on 2006-11-04 at 13:55:44
QUOTE
Out of interest, DTBK, have you ever been in love? It's just that your description of it seems very mechanical and distant, like you think it's 'something other people do.'


Maybe, but not really? tongue.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2006-11-04 at 16:41:30
Ah, but what does that mean? You'd know it if you'd been in love.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by JordanN_3335 on 2006-11-04 at 17:00:20
Who the H*ll voted for 30+? That seems unreasonable unless your counting those old ederly people who date foreign women.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by mockdead on 2006-11-04 at 17:30:55
16+ because they're at least more mature than 15-
Report, edit, etc...Posted by smasher25 on 2006-11-04 at 19:42:29
QUOTE(JordanN_3335 @ Nov 4 2006, 05:00 PM)
Who the H*ll voted for 30+? That seems unreasonable unless your counting those old ederly people who date foreign women.
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Actually to be honest I thought 30+ was the best age when I was ten years old. I probably didn't know anything about this subject back then.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by DT_Battlekruser on 2006-11-04 at 21:54:56
QUOTE(CaptainWill @ Nov 4 2006, 01:41 PM)
Ah, but what does that mean? You'd know it if you'd been in love.
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I might be have a growing attachment to someone, but in a word no I haven't been in love.
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