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Um, you have a standard cup for protection....

Poke them to death with their bones!

Why deos everyone say 'It'd be easy until one hits you in the nuts'?!
All my friends that I've asked said that, and several people have here!
WTF?!


Which, of course, is an extremely inneficient use of energy, and in this scenario, energy is your main resource that you need to worry about.
Because of the protective cup, the main thing you have to worry about is them biting your legs.
The human jaw, especially a 5-yearold's, isn't particularily strong.
But jaws are still very, very strong compared to other things you can do, especially at that age. That's probably the main thing you have to worry about.

I don't think anyone can take down 50-60 like some say because they aren't coming at you one at a time, they are swarming you like hyenas on a caribou. In the one day training I'm sure they would've been taught to work as a team to bring you down and bite your face and whatnot. Personally, I think I can take 5-6 before getting knocked down and eaten by the pudgy ones.

I'd say near the walls and smash their faces into it! That's some good techinque, since one smash to the wall and they'd probably be knocked out.

I'd say the best strategy for kickers is to use sweep kicks. Also if they are coming at you, dodge and kick the back of their knee so they fall down and kick them on the side of the head to ensure unconsciencenous (spelling?).

I'd say maybe 2

Do remember that you'd be fighting about 8 of them at a time if they do swarm you.
Thats:

50 pounds avg per kid * 8 kids = 400 pounds of little kid jumping on you.

I'd highly doubt anyone can take 8 kids at once, you'll most definetly fall down with all of them on top of you and you won't be able to get up, game over.

My strategy would be to run around until they aren't running as a pack but as single individuals and take them out as fast as posible, energy would be very important so I won't want to waste that so I'd probably punch or kick them in the stomach, they'd be out of air and that big of a blow to them would knock them out.

If I use that strategy I could waste 20 of those kids until I run out of energy. Anything more than that and it would be near imposible to separate the pack.

And, of course, kicking them in the head would probably be about as effective, plus you don't have to worry about them pushing you into the walls.


That's if you let them all attack you at once.
There may be a lot, but 5 year old kidds aren't exactly the fastest runners. A fast jogging pace would probably be faster then their dashing speed, and your legs are enough longer then any of their limbs that you can kick one in the head, move back a few paces, kick another in the head, and so on.

And I wouldn't bother using my fists until I start running out of energy to run, because the arms are weaker, shorter, and I'd have to lean over or crouch down slightly to hit them anywhere but the head. A swift kick to the gut would be much more effective then a punch, especially since the energy required to crouch down would probably be more then enough to make punching less efficient, especially if you're tall.

I'd throw myself around like a raging bull if they tried to swarm me.

And get bitten all over. Yes, very smart.
As I said, even a 5 year old human's jaws could do some damage if you let them. And the 5 year olds probably know that, since they're given a day of expert training.

Not only would doing that require a lot of energy(your very most important resource if you have enough self-awareness to realise that you're faster, stronger, and have longer reach then any of them), but it would fully expose you to any methods of attack they have.

Well just run really fast and tackle the whole group.

In case you hadn't notice, teeth are hard and small.
Finger nails are hard and thin.
Hitting lots and lots of small and hard objects repeatedly at weird angles is painful.

And anyways, what does 'run really fast and tackle the whole group' have to do with them biting you? You're just saying the exact same thing as you said before.

Well it would be hard for them to bite you if you keep moving.

No, it would be hard for them to do it without getting hurt. Hell, they don't even need to try, by running through them you'll guaruntee that you'll be hitting lots of teeth.
And, it also means that they can climb up on you(using each other's crying from pain bodies to help them get up on your back).

I doubt the 5 year olds could use the wall to their advantage against you. All you have to do is place your kicks and time your smashs into the wall. You could do some sort of tornado kick if they're about to swarm you.

That would require you to 'tornado' kick with enough force to push over a hundred pounds of resisting humans around. Remember, since they're swarming, they're close together, and that weight will add-up fast.


200 pounds of kids slamming against you as hard as they can will be enough to atleast cause you to lose your step(ESPECIALLY if you're doing a spin kick, as that places you in the EXTREMELY bad position of being on ONE FOOT), and push you into a wall, if you are near one.

I forgot about that rule, Lol. I suppose, but does that rule apply for them? Since if not, it wouldn't be a good idea. Maybe when they try to push you into a wall you can do a commando roll to the side and smash them into the wall. Then again, this is all hypothetical.

True, but rolling around when there's a bunch of bloodthirsty ankle-biters around you is awkward.
The word awkward is awkward too.
Wkw just seems so ugly and out of place...

Hey, if they bite your ankle, it's eaiser for you to smash down on them with your free foot, unless they rush you when they do it. It may hurt like hell, but you're knocking one of them out in the process.

Ya, if you do what I do, you can knock one out WITHOUT the pain part.

I still want to do a tornado kick! I suppose you could sweep kick, but that would put you at a disadvantage if they jumped over you and on top of you, which would be much eaiser. Maybe you could use one of them as a human shield and plow through them with the person!

LOL. It would be just like burly brawl. Id rip a pole out of the ground and sweep the little bastards away.

I should try this
I would need my uber boots

I took on an entire soccer team of them once. I won.
Thats about 15 kids.

thats kinda hard to judge considering ive never beat up a 5 year old, but as the rules say to win u have to knock them all out, im sure that wouldnt be too hard because u could probably knock them out in one punch bcuz their 5.