Report, edit, etc...Posted by Gigins on 2006-06-11 at 18:20:33
QUOTE(Demaris @ Jun 12 2006, 01:14 AM)
8/10 DEAD,
What's the difference between a table and a dead baby?
Can't f**k a table.
[right][snapback]504731[/snapback][/right]
OMG 9/10!!!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demaris on 2006-06-11 at 18:20:56
6/10
What's the difference between a pile of black dead babies and a pile of white dead babies?
Who cares? You have two piles of dead babies!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by SS_DD on 2006-06-11 at 18:36:50
4/10
Whats more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them out.
Whats more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them out.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kow on 2006-06-11 at 18:42:02
5/10 not sick 
What do you say to a black jew?
Hey you! Get to the back of the gas chamber!
What do you say to a black jew?
Hey you! Get to the back of the gas chamber!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)7-7 on 2006-06-11 at 19:43:10
I started this topic a long time ago and it died pretty fast! Went to like Page 4 or 5 and that was it.
Here are some good ones I know!
Buck 75
There were these two virgins who wanted their first time perfect. The man went to a sex expert and asked how to make it wonderful. The man said to put a quarter on his right hip, a quarter on his butt, a quarter on his left hip, and a dollar on his dick. Later that night the couple was in bed and they started. Quarter, quarter, quarter, dollar. Quarter, quarter, quarter, dollar. Faster she said. Quarter-quarter-quarter-dollar, Quarter-quarter-quarter-dollar. FASTER! QuarterQuarterQuarterDollar, QuarterQuarterQuarterDollar. FASTER!! freak it, Buck Seventy-Five, Buck Seventy-Five.
Rich and Poor Guys in a Bar
There was a rich guy and a poor guy sitting at a bar, they both were celebrating their 10 year anniversary with their wives. The rich man said, “I bought my wife a Diamond Ring and a Jaguar XJ220. That way if she doesn’t like the ring, she can drive the Jaguar to bring it back.” The poor man says, “I got my wife a pair of Slippers and a Dildo. That way, if she doesn’t like the slipper, she can go freak herself!”
Man with Tennis Elbow
There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his friend he was going to the doctor. His friend told him to go to the pharmacy where there is a machine that for ten dollars and a urine sample will tell you what is wrong with you. So he went to the pharmacy and put the ten dollars and his urine sample in. After a minute a paper came out and said that he has tennis elbow and he should soak his elbow in warm water for the next two weeks. That night, he decided the machine must be a fraud.
So, the next day he made a mixture of tap water, his daughter's urine, his dog's urine -- and he added some of his own semen to it. He brought it to the pharmacy and put ten dollars and the stuff in. After a minute the paper came out and said, ''The tap water has lead, the dog has worms, your daughter is on drugs and she's not your daughter.'
Four College Students
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Big Ten school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Boilermaker hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for Purdue!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Wildcat threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for Northwestern!"
Seeing this, the Buckeye walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!!!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.
Three Men in a Bathroom
There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen and an Australian. All are at the urinals.
The first Englishman zips up and walks over to the sink and uses a lot of soap and water and before he leaves. He says to the others, “In Yorkshire, I learned to be clean and neat.”
The second Englishman zips up, walks over to the sink and uses much less soap and water but is still very clean. He says, “At Bredford Academy, I learned to be clean and neat but still be environmentally aware.”
The third man zips up and heads straight to the door.
The Aussie says over his shoulder, “In Australia, we learn not to piss on our hands.”
Three Nuns
Three nuns were taking a walk one day.
''I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some pornography magazines," said the first nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the second.
"I threw them away."
"I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some condoms," said the second nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the first.
"I punched holes in them." The third nun fainted.
Rate Please!
Here are some good ones I know!
Buck 75
There were these two virgins who wanted their first time perfect. The man went to a sex expert and asked how to make it wonderful. The man said to put a quarter on his right hip, a quarter on his butt, a quarter on his left hip, and a dollar on his dick. Later that night the couple was in bed and they started. Quarter, quarter, quarter, dollar. Quarter, quarter, quarter, dollar. Faster she said. Quarter-quarter-quarter-dollar, Quarter-quarter-quarter-dollar. FASTER! QuarterQuarterQuarterDollar, QuarterQuarterQuarterDollar. FASTER!! freak it, Buck Seventy-Five, Buck Seventy-Five.
Rich and Poor Guys in a Bar
There was a rich guy and a poor guy sitting at a bar, they both were celebrating their 10 year anniversary with their wives. The rich man said, “I bought my wife a Diamond Ring and a Jaguar XJ220. That way if she doesn’t like the ring, she can drive the Jaguar to bring it back.” The poor man says, “I got my wife a pair of Slippers and a Dildo. That way, if she doesn’t like the slipper, she can go freak herself!”
Man with Tennis Elbow
There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his friend he was going to the doctor. His friend told him to go to the pharmacy where there is a machine that for ten dollars and a urine sample will tell you what is wrong with you. So he went to the pharmacy and put the ten dollars and his urine sample in. After a minute a paper came out and said that he has tennis elbow and he should soak his elbow in warm water for the next two weeks. That night, he decided the machine must be a fraud.
So, the next day he made a mixture of tap water, his daughter's urine, his dog's urine -- and he added some of his own semen to it. He brought it to the pharmacy and put ten dollars and the stuff in. After a minute the paper came out and said, ''The tap water has lead, the dog has worms, your daughter is on drugs and she's not your daughter.'
Four College Students
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Big Ten school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Boilermaker hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for Purdue!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Wildcat threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for Northwestern!"
Seeing this, the Buckeye walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!!!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.
Three Men in a Bathroom
There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen and an Australian. All are at the urinals.
The first Englishman zips up and walks over to the sink and uses a lot of soap and water and before he leaves. He says to the others, “In Yorkshire, I learned to be clean and neat.”
The second Englishman zips up, walks over to the sink and uses much less soap and water but is still very clean. He says, “At Bredford Academy, I learned to be clean and neat but still be environmentally aware.”
The third man zips up and heads straight to the door.
The Aussie says over his shoulder, “In Australia, we learn not to piss on our hands.”
Three Nuns
Three nuns were taking a walk one day.
''I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some pornography magazines," said the first nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the second.
"I threw them away."
"I was cleaning the Father's room yesterday and found some condoms," said the second nun.
"What did you do with them?" asked the first.
"I punched holes in them." The third nun fainted.
Rate Please!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Syphon on 2006-06-11 at 19:58:28
2/10, longage
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a camel? Baby swallows, camel spits.
How is a dead baby like an elevator? They both get me up.
How do you make a dead baby crawl in circles? Take out one of the nails.
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a camel? Baby swallows, camel spits.
How is a dead baby like an elevator? They both get me up.
How do you make a dead baby crawl in circles? Take out one of the nails.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by JordanN_3335 on 2006-06-11 at 20:08:47
1/10 enough with the dead baby jokes (unless your talking about DEAD)
What does glue, a theif and a lighthouse have in common?
One watches the sea the other seizes the watch....
and the glue you ask? Thats were you get stuck!
What does glue, a theif and a lighthouse have in common?
One watches the sea the other seizes the watch....
and the glue you ask? Thats were you get stuck!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by SS_DD on 2006-06-11 at 21:25:25
wtf. 1/10
What did Helen Keller name her dog? MEHEAHEHAHE
What did Helen Keller name her dog? MEHEAHEHAHE
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-06-11 at 23:25:05
1/10 Don't get it.
How was the copper wire invented?
Two jewish guys saw a penny on the sidewalk and tried to pick it up at the same time.
How was the copper wire invented?
Two jewish guys saw a penny on the sidewalk and tried to pick it up at the same time.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2006-06-11 at 23:38:47
Nice, 7/10.
How many Hitler's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, there was nothing wrong with him.
How many Hitler's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, there was nothing wrong with him.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by RexyRex on 2006-06-12 at 00:40:44
Zero, Moose made a thread with that joke as the first post.
Highlight the line below the joke to get the punchline...
What happens when a jew has a boner and he runs into a brick wall?
He breaks his nose.
Highlight the line below the joke to get the punchline...
What happens when a jew has a boner and he runs into a brick wall?
He breaks his nose.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kow on 2006-06-12 at 00:56:11
8/10
What's worse than a dead baby at in a trash can.
- A pile of dead babies in a trash can.
What's worse than that?
- A pile of week old dead babies in a trash can.
What's worse than that?
- The bottom one is alive, and trying to eat its way out.
What's worse than a dead baby at in a trash can.
- A pile of dead babies in a trash can.
What's worse than that?
- A pile of week old dead babies in a trash can.
What's worse than that?
- The bottom one is alive, and trying to eat its way out.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wizard898 on 2006-06-12 at 01:27:10
whats the difference between a bowling ball and a dead baby?
You can't pick up bowling balls with a pitchfork.
You can't pick up bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-06-12 at 01:51:39
2/10 I don't care for dead baby jokes.
What comes between a blonde and a brunette?
A bellybutton.
What comes between a blonde and a brunette?
A bellybutton.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2006-06-12 at 02:01:36
4/10
What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
Acne at least waits until you're a teenager to come on your face.
What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
Acne at least waits until you're a teenager to come on your face.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-06-12 at 02:17:04
6/10
What does Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
Boys' drawers, half off.
What does Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
Boys' drawers, half off.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)7-7 on 2006-06-12 at 13:36:23
4/10
What is worse than a brunette and a red head building a house underwater?
A blonde trying to set fire to it!
What is worse than a brunette and a red head building a house underwater?
A blonde trying to set fire to it!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by dumbducky on 2006-06-12 at 16:41:50
1/10
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
I couldn't think of a joke.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
I couldn't think of a joke.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2006-06-12 at 17:00:21
0/10 Too old 
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wizard898 on 2006-06-12 at 18:24:20
6/10
A blonde woman walks into a store and wants to buy a nice looking TV. "Sir, I'd like to buy that TV." Said the blonde. "I'm sorry, We dont serve blondes." the clerk said. The blonde dyed her hair brown and went back to the store. "I'd like that TV please." the clerk responds, "I'm sorry we dont serve blondes." She asks, "how did you know I was blonde?" the clerk says "Ma'am, that's a microwave."
A blonde woman walks into a store and wants to buy a nice looking TV. "Sir, I'd like to buy that TV." Said the blonde. "I'm sorry, We dont serve blondes." the clerk said. The blonde dyed her hair brown and went back to the store. "I'd like that TV please." the clerk responds, "I'm sorry we dont serve blondes." She asks, "how did you know I was blonde?" the clerk says "Ma'am, that's a microwave."
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kow on 2006-06-12 at 18:28:21
4/10 Old'd
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a new black Lexus?
I don't have a new black Lexus in my garage.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a new black Lexus?
I don't have a new black Lexus in my garage.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wizard898 on 2006-06-12 at 18:36:40
4/10
A pregnant lady with triplets inside walks into a bank. Unfortunately, she gets shot three times by a robber in the stomach. After the robbery, she goes to the hospital to see how her kids are. The doctor says "Don't worry. They'll only poop out a bullet when they are older." So the kids are born and one day one of the girls comes and says "mommy mommy i pooped out a bullet!" So they mom told her the whole story. The next day the other daughter comes and says the same thing. The mom explains the story to her again. Next day, the son comes screaming "MOM!" She says "I know i know, you pooped out a bullet." The boy says "NO! I was masturbating and i shot a dog!"
A pregnant lady with triplets inside walks into a bank. Unfortunately, she gets shot three times by a robber in the stomach. After the robbery, she goes to the hospital to see how her kids are. The doctor says "Don't worry. They'll only poop out a bullet when they are older." So the kids are born and one day one of the girls comes and says "mommy mommy i pooped out a bullet!" So they mom told her the whole story. The next day the other daughter comes and says the same thing. The mom explains the story to her again. Next day, the son comes screaming "MOM!" She says "I know i know, you pooped out a bullet." The boy says "NO! I was masturbating and i shot a dog!"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Lyon on 2006-06-12 at 18:47:37
WTF WIZARD?
LOL!
5/10
3 White guys are walking on a beach and they find a Magic Lamp, and a genie comes out. he Says one of you gets 1 Wish because that wouldnt be fair.
So the first guy says "I want all the black people in america to go back to africa"
DONE! all the black people go back to Africa
The Second guy says "I Want all the mexicans go to back to Mexico"
DONE! al the mexicans are back in Mexico
So the Last guy says "oh, so all the Mexicans and Africans are back in their countrys eh" the Genie replies "Yes" so he says well....i'll have a Coke.
LOL!
5/10
3 White guys are walking on a beach and they find a Magic Lamp, and a genie comes out. he Says one of you gets 1 Wish because that wouldnt be fair.
So the first guy says "I want all the black people in america to go back to africa"
DONE! all the black people go back to Africa
The Second guy says "I Want all the mexicans go to back to Mexico"
DONE! al the mexicans are back in Mexico
So the Last guy says "oh, so all the Mexicans and Africans are back in their countrys eh" the Genie replies "Yes" so he says well....i'll have a Coke.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Killer_Kow(MM) on 2006-06-12 at 19:43:14
3/10 not really funny...
Three poor men are walking down the street. They come across a very lavish house that appeared to have a very wealthy owner. The knocked on the door, and an old lady answered.
The first man asked "May we have some food or water?"
The lady replied "Only if you will give me the pleasure of yourself."
The first man said "No, thank you."
The second man said "Ew, no."
The third man agreed.
So, the old lady and the man went into the house. The man blindfolded the woman, took a corn on the cob and pushed it in and out, in and out. He then threw the corn out the window.
"That was amazing!" cried the woman. "Do it again and I'll give you money! And a house!"
So, once again, the man blindfolded the lady, took another corn on the cob, and went in and out, in and out. He then threw the corn out the window.
"Once more! I'll give you all my car collection!" cried out the woman. The man noted her extremely large and valuable car collection, and agreed. He repeated the process, and once again threw the corn out the window.
So, feeling very good and proud of himself, the man left the house to tell his friends the good news.
"I have food, water, money, a house and cars! Check it out!"
The two men looked at each other and one of them said, "Well, that's nice, but we just had the best corn on the cob ever!"
Three poor men are walking down the street. They come across a very lavish house that appeared to have a very wealthy owner. The knocked on the door, and an old lady answered.
The first man asked "May we have some food or water?"
The lady replied "Only if you will give me the pleasure of yourself."
The first man said "No, thank you."
The second man said "Ew, no."
The third man agreed.
So, the old lady and the man went into the house. The man blindfolded the woman, took a corn on the cob and pushed it in and out, in and out. He then threw the corn out the window.
"That was amazing!" cried the woman. "Do it again and I'll give you money! And a house!"
So, once again, the man blindfolded the lady, took another corn on the cob, and went in and out, in and out. He then threw the corn out the window.
"Once more! I'll give you all my car collection!" cried out the woman. The man noted her extremely large and valuable car collection, and agreed. He repeated the process, and once again threw the corn out the window.
So, feeling very good and proud of himself, the man left the house to tell his friends the good news.
"I have food, water, money, a house and cars! Check it out!"
The two men looked at each other and one of them said, "Well, that's nice, but we just had the best corn on the cob ever!"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wizard898 on 2006-06-12 at 20:17:16
4/10
Are racist ones alloweD? I dont care.
What do you call a black priest?
Holy sht.
Are racist ones alloweD? I dont care.
What do you call a black priest?
Holy sht.