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I turn into a Ghost, and the first person I run into is Ed331. He dies in exactly seven years, not one second off.

EzDay takes an ice cream cone from an ice cream stand and runs into a rouge moose's sharp, pointy horns.

Pekkel also buys some icecream, and notices something wrong with it but he just can't quite place it...
Later reports state that he was killed by a Covenant Plasma Grenade.

Oh, since you wanna go there, EzDay... You bought some frozen Banquet quick meals, $.87ea., the salisbury steak kind. You cut a hole over the potatoes and corn to vent the hot air. You cook it in the microwave on high for 4:30. You let it stand in the microwave for an additional minute like the instructions say. Then you peel off the cover and eat it. It tastes unusually fine. Infact, it was the best salisbury steak meal you have ever eaten. You go to bed that night, feeling on top of the world. You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, and rinse your mouth out with the new Listeriene brand teeth whitening mouthwash. It did wonders for your teeth that day. You walk around town, and a really hot girl notices your smile. She gives you her number. Now we skip ahead a day to when you call her. She invites you over to her house for dinner. When you arive you smell the greatest meal in the world. Salisbury steak. Infact, it's the same exact kind you had two night ago. You go in, you and her talk for a bit. She serves the dinner and you eat it. All of it. You feel so great after that meal, you ask to watch a movie. So you do. It's just you and her on the couch together. In the dark. Watching Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. A pretty good movie to my standards. You agree? I hope. Anyways, you're watching the movie and you start to make out with the hot girl who still remains unamed. You want to take this night farther than you're already going, but she doesn't want to. Since you're feeling so great after that salisbury steak meal, you wont take no for an answer. You keep going. And force it. You leave that night, and she calls the cops. The whole police squad arrives to arrest you. But you think you can beat them. You're all hopped up on salisbury steak. The cops can smell it on you. So they take extra precautions and take out their Fuel Rod Cannon. They fire, and poof. The only remains of your miserable salisbury life, are the pocket and fabric around it, of an old, plaid shirt you wore that night.

Big kahoona trips into a manhole...

I stalk down Kahoona and assassinate him for exposing my laziness.
I'm too lazy to read the whole post... I'm a disgrace to Ez's...
Warhamma tries to catch Kahoona, but just succeeds in falling in with him.

Yay! Another one! But since you exposed that I live in a manhole, I'll have to pull you down here and have my way with you. So you end up dying.

Ed331 is fined $100 by California for attempting(and obviously failing) to detonate a nuclear warhead inside their state.
He starves to death.

Then I show up and begin to own with my pens. And markers, and paintbrushes, and crayons. You end up dying by getting a pen up the pooper. It keeps going up your body and into your brain. DEAD!

Ew...


Big kahoona trips in a manhole, again...
But for insurance, there was also a giant sea monster down there, waiting to eat someone.

I already made friends with those sea monsters. So they caught me before I could sustain any major injuries. Then since they got such big Kahoonas. I mean uh, long necks. They just lifted me out of the man hole. So now I just hunt you down.

Now, you're raped and killed. Doesn't have to be in that order though.

Not enough insurance.

[center]Kahoon gets his pubes caught in a pencil sharpener, and is slowly ground into tiny bits. nuclearrabbit promptly eats the bits when kahoon is finally dead.
I already know how I'll die....[/center]

Generic Member is envious of the fact that NuclearRabbit got to eat the bits, and kills him and eats the bits.

Kingdonwano gave me strict orders to kill whoever eats my bits. So you're going to die in a comical fashion that I don't feel like stating.

Now the bits are mine!

I kill Kahoona for making such a stupid mistake as mistaking me for Generic Member.

You die by me "jixxing" on your face.

Kellimus dies by "jixxing" too hard, and then explodes for no apparent reason

Ninebreaker is a nine and breaks himself.

Trogdor eats you.

You're a "liquid raver", and as of now no known liquids are alive anyway.

*mallets Ultimo in the groin*
You died from the pain.
I just realized something...
That was influenced by two other forums...
One in which there's someone with a giant mallet, and another where someone kicks(or atleast used to) all the newbies in the groin.
I like bringing other forums' influence into other forums.
Funny thing is, in that other forum, most of the people are familiar with SC, D2, WC3, and almost as many are WoW players.

And I quite don't know what you're getting to EZ.