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ya i know alot friends that are girls consider me a big teddy bear because 1.)im very tall compared to them im a bit big cause i got broad shoulders and middle name is "Teddy"

I've noticed that MOST girls will date an average looking, or even ugly guy if he:

1. Is rich/famous

OR.......

2. He creates the biological ATTRACTION. He exhibits all of the strong male archetypes. How many times have you seen a mismatched pair (hot girl with fat/ugly dude) at the mall or the store or at parties?

Very, very rarely. Much more often, you'll see two people of around equal "good lookingness" going out. You don't see hot girls with ugly guys, because the girls can get better.

You can ask just about any girl you know, including the hotter ones. While they appreciate looks in a man, they are often willing to overlook ugliness if the guy is interesting to them.

True. Trust me, you don't want to get in a fight with me.

You can ask just about any girl you know, including the hotter ones. While they appreciate looks in a man, they are often willing to overlook ugliness if the guy is interesting to them.

BULL!!!!

You must be talking to the mormon chicks. Most girls are only intested in the rooster. If you can give them a good hour or so, your in.

Being nice to girls makes you there freind. Thats it. There is no more to it. They will allways think of you as there "close freind" and thats as far as it goes....ever.....

That isn't true at all. While they might say that, they don't go through with it. Also, I really doubt that you're even telling the truth, because I can't imagine you going up to a girl and asking her "would you go out with an ugly guy?".

Girls are more like guys than you think: they're perverted and looks matter a lot to them.

Girls don't act like they do in anime, my friend.

good girls want to bad guys
bad girls want to good guys
etc...

Okay, so I've never directly asked that question to a girl, but I see it everywhere. Trust me, if you just go out and look around, you'll see plenty of it. Most of the "ladies men" I've ever known were not very handsome.

Oh I know they're perverts. LOL

Well duh! I've had several girlfriends and I even have a kid. One thing though that might be making my perspective different from yours is that TEENAGE girls do tend to be a LITTLE bit more concerned with looks. Mostly because they are worried about how the rest of the peer community will see them. Once out of high school though, that whole thing goes away for most of them. There are lots of handsome dudes that have no idea how to act around girls and therefor stay lonely. Girls usually want someone who makes them feel something, and looks don't do it for them as much as looks do it for guys.

That's why girls will say they want a "caring, responsible man who's going somewhere in the world" but then they'll let some scruffy slacker sleep on their couch and watch their TV and eat their food. Mr. Caring doesn't wind up their motor the way Mr. Scruffy does.

I guess what I'm trying to say in this unintentionally long post is that if you are a nice guy and you don't feel like waiting until your 30s for women to decide they need a provider more than a lover (they usually don't see nice guys as lovers), then grow some hair on your chest and act a like an uncaring brute sometimes!

And getting back to the whole looks thing. Women WANT a guy (emphasis on WANT, because some will settle for less) that makes them FEEL attraction for them. The physical apperance usually doesn't matter much. Handsome or ugly, if you know how to play the game, you're likely to win.

yea so true...they think gay guys are sexy

Nice guys finish last. We've all heard the phrase a thousand times. I've even offered it as an explanation for some unsuccessful relationships. I wonder though, is it just an excuse for other shortcomings?
Nice guy


Are we just trying to make ourselves feel better when, in fact, the problem may lie with us and not with the women who prefer guys who apparently, are not nice?

Do men honestly think that being nice is a drawback when it comes to women? I think that we need to take a good look at ourselves if we've ever uttered this phrase as an excuse.

Nice Guy Syndrome has become a pervasive way of thinking for a certain type of man. I stumbled on this quote posted on the Counseling Center For Human Development Web site at The University of South Florida:

"The nice guy is the person who you trust and feel comfortable with, but don't see as 'fun' or 'challenging' or really all that 'interesting', other than as a friend, of course."

I think that quote is the classic Nice Guy Syndrome mind-set. It sounds pretty reasonable at first blush, but if we look deeper at how the "Nice Guys" behave, we'll see some similarities in their thinking and actions.

Some of the symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome:

Avoiding Conflicts
A so-called Nice Guy will go out of his way to avoid an argument even if he strongly believes he's right. That kind of passivity doesn't mean that you're nice. It means that you're a pushover. It's not the challenge that women really want, it's someone who has his own set of opinions and is willing to back them up.

Having a spine is a good thing… and conflicts are how we learn about each other. Deferring to the woman all the time leads to a stagnation in the relationship and can make a woman feel quite alone because when she looks to you for an opinion, all she'll get back is her own.

Placing Women On Pedestals
This is a really big problem with Nice Guys and it's a sure-fire path to failure.

When you put a woman on a pedestal, you thrust upon her the idea that she is perfect, beyond-reproach, angelic, and unable to make mistakes. Who in the world can live up to that kind of billing?

When a woman who has been placed on a pedestal inevitably falters or takes a misstep, she comes crashing down hard. The man who placed her there can't believe that the woman he placed all his faith in could suddenly become so… well… human.

Holding anyone up to unrealistic expectations is unhealthy for both parties. Nice Guys have to realize that they are involved with women who have faults. Stop foisting what you wish were their traits on them – and take them for the wonderfully, flawed individuals that they are.

Passive Neediness
Oooh… this is one of the most irritating things in the world to witness. It also falls under the unrealistic expectations category. You want something from your mate (fair enough), but you don't ask for it (not fair at all), then you feel hurt when you don't get it (incredibly unfair).

Basically, if you want something, you have to ask for it. Then, and only then, if you don't get it you can make an issue of it by verbalizing your feelings. Expecting a woman to read your mind is rather unfair, don't you think?

Nice Guys, who you may have figured out by now, aren't always nice, have a tendency to be passive aggressive in these situations. The trouble is, Nice Guys think that asking for something makes them selfish, but they have to wake up to the fact that we all want and need things, it's what makes us human. Ask, and maybe, ye shall receive.

Living For Someone Else
Another classic trait of Nice Guy Syndrome entails the idea of self-sacrifice. That's not always a bad thing, but if a relationship only has one person making sacrifices, we run into trouble. The end result of this is that the Nice Guy feels used and unappreciated.

Nice Guys often lose themselves in their partner and do everything to try and make them happy. But, in the process, they lose their individuality, the very individuality that probably made them attractive to their mate in the first place.

Nice Guys are so very eager to please that they end up denying themselves happiness along the way. Does that sound like a healthy way to live?

No More Mr. Nice Guy
As you can see, Nice Guy Syndrome is a pretty damaging condition. So the next time you utter the phrase, "nice guys finish last", think about what you're saying and take a moment to see if you really are as "nice" as you believe.

source: msn.ca

But then.. what about guys that are nice but not "nice guys" as you describe it?

This is the oppinion of a person I work with. Don't shoot the messenger.


You know why nice guy’s finish last? Because they’re weak. They don’t have the courage or the stamina to stand up for themselves and fight for what they want or need. They get the dirt stomp right in between the legs the rest of their lives and just pass it off as “Oh well for all bad there has to be good” BS! It doesn’t work that way. This is the real world people. Not everything is pink and fuzzy like these “Nice Guy’s” Believe it to be. Get a grip. When you need something or you want something bad enough you have to fight for it. So the bottom line. If your one of those NICE GUY’S it is to your misfortune your own…damn…fault get over it and go hide somewhere for your own protection. Quit whining and grow up and learn the rules of LIFE

There's a difference between being nice, and being stupid. I think the definition of a "nice guy" is really just a stupid guy who doesn't care about themselves or do anything for themselves and would rather help others than help themselves first.

They aren't even being nice, they are being dumb. It's like you should first care about yourself before you care about others. Put yourself as your main priority is the right thing to do.


For example, if there's something you want and another person wants it. If you let that person get it you aren't being "nice" you are just being a weak person. However, it's different if the person really needs that thing and you don't. Those kinds of nice gestures can make you feel better about yourself. But if you constantly neglect your own needs then you are a loser.

As long as you don't feel bad about giving up things for others benefit then there's nothing wrong with "finishing last" if the nice guys don't even care about it.

Hey, I put others first.
All this week I've been wanting to piss someone off.
I have so much stress, I want to beat the Cheeze out of someone.
I haven't had an adrenaline rush in so long...
Must...
Get...
In...
Fight...

Next fight I see, I'm jumping in.

I'm Kow, and I'm a Nice Guy.
*crowd says 'Hi Kow'*

My only problem with girls when they dump or reject you for someone else, is that someone else is usually just there for the sex. They want nothing to do with the girl, they just want (excuse me) some ass.

so true its scary

Do nice guys finish last? Well, it really depends, is my girlfriend there? If she is, well it depends what where we are eating. And then I have to ask about 10000 questions after that to get the true answer of the scenerio, so since I'm to lazy to do so, I'll say No.

Durk. You shall strike this idiot in the face for me.

I'm a nice guy. The only reason I don't have a girlfriend is because i'm to shy! Does that mean i'm pathetic and weak? Hell no. I bet I could -slap you across the USA.

You sound like one of those big douchey pricks who just use chicks for a piece of ass. Get a life. I bet most nice guys are going to finish better than your pathetic ass.

You're an insolent prick. Just because you know of a few cowardly "nice" guys (More like blam ass :censored:es, just like yourself) does not mean that every single one is a pathetic loser. Ever heard of having a heart? Apperantly not.

This is directed to the loser at Durk's work. Not Durk himself because Durk in fact, is a nice guy himself. He is just a cold hearted wonderful friend



I'm a nice guy, and I care about myself but only after my care for my significant other.

Maybe we aren't conceded like you? Putting yourself before others is being a conceded prick. Who cares about you besides yourself? You shouldn't go all out on yourself or you become an egotist, and thus creates hatred towards you by many people.

Your example is kinda iffy. If I was in that position, I would generally let the person have it before I did. Enless it came down to a chick. I would beat them to the punch. But with material items that are renewable, I agree with letting them have it before you if they "need" it. Most people think they need something, when in fact they just want it.

I'm sure caring for your own health and life is being conceded. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself before others. It's like make sure you can provide for yourself before you try to provide for others. Especially if say the person you are being nice to ends up being dependent on you and you can't support them while supporting yourself. And you're exaggerating, I'm sure I said to go all out on yourself and be obsessed with material things.



There, you agreed with me, which was also what I was saying to everything above that, there's nothing to argue about. You also missed the point of my example. Notice the "however" part that came after my example where I included another example. If you and someone else want something, then it wouldn't be wrong to go ahead and try to get it before the other person does. I'm not saying it's wrong however to let the other person get it, IF you are comfortable with not getting that thing that you wanted. However, there's a clear distinction between that and the situation where you "want" but don't need a particular thing and there's someone who really NEEDS it. Then it would be mostly right to let the person that needs the thing have it.

However I'll just quote myself because in the end it's what the nice guy thinks about what he's doing:



You shouldn't blame someone for caring about themself, and you shouldn't blame someone for caring about others. There's nothing wrong with either thing. And anyway there are way too many things that can go into making a decision like that you can't really say which is right and wrong. I was just referring to the particular situation in which you care so much about others that you neglect yourself, and YOU end up unhappy.

But you still can't tell someone what to do, it's just your opinion, and it's their life. You can live your life how you want it.

I have a story to go with this. There is a gay guy in my college that is about 2 dorms away from me and this girl who is very pretty is always waiting outside in the morning for him to walk outside, and once I asked her why she is always there and she says because she is deeply inlove with him and thinks hes very sexy and all this and I said you do know hes gay right? and she said, yeah i know but maybe i can change that. so i just turned around walked off...funny dont you think.and this guy has a boyfriend who is korean, good luck to her

Yeah, that korean guy is a tough opponant.