Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-05-27 at 21:50:58
I know this is supposed to be the 'Best Joke of All Time", but I thought I'd put in some really, really cheesy music jokes:
What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
On a bull, the horns are in the front and the
is in the back!
What do trumpets and pirates have in common?
They're both murder on the high C's!
What's the difference between a Porsche ans a soprano (singer)?
Most tromboners haven't been in a Porsche!
What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
On a bull, the horns are in the front and the
is in the back!What do trumpets and pirates have in common?
They're both murder on the high C's!
What's the difference between a Porsche ans a soprano (singer)?
Most tromboners haven't been in a Porsche!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-05-27 at 21:56:57
woots for Areneous, but weeps because me and dimensia are musicians 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2004-05-27 at 21:58:14
Areneous: this is for you, my trombone playing friend.
What is the latest crime wave in Las Angelos?
Drive by trombone solos!
hehe
What is the latest crime wave in Las Angelos?
Drive by trombone solos!
hehe
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-05-27 at 22:01:21
woots for FK because me and my co-hort shmiggy the hambster think jokes are cool!
Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck
1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.
Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck
1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2004-05-27 at 22:08:51
I knew this list would be useful one day...
You've been in band to long...
When you hear music and you start marking time.
When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them.
When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
When all your friends are in the band.
When you don't mind changing clothes on the bus.
When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
When every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.
When you like wearing your uniform.
When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?"
When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
When someone hits a wrong note and you chew them out for an hour.
When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
When people worry when they see you without you instrument.
When "armed guard," means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
When band camp is FUN.
When you answer to "Band Nerd."
When someone says the words "atten hut" and you automatically put your head up.
When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.
When your mouth is frozen to your mouth piece, and it feels normal.
When left slides or right back slides feel normal.
When your instrument has a name.
When you remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.
When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
When you give your instrument a birthday party.
When you can make white shoes look black.
When your uniform fits.
When black feathers become a fashion "do".
When you see your section more than you see your family.
When everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.
When you have dreams about early morning marching band.
When you think morning practices should start a half-hour earlier.
When you accidentally call your band director "Dad".
When you CAN sight-read.
When you can put on you uniform in less than 10 minutes.
When reeds taste good.
When you have a band song stuck in your head, and you tap your foot to the beat.
When you think your plume is alive.
When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.
When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
When numbers past 8 aren't important.
When you're more opinionated about the Madison vs. American Fork Bands than the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your lunch.
When you'd rather practice than read this list.
When letters past G aren't important.
When the only class you look forward to is band.
When you actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long.
When you wonder what life would be like if you weren't in band.
When you roll step while you walk to class.
When you major in music.
When you use your high school band director as a role model.
When those stupid "band humor" jokes are the funniest things you've ever heard.
When you pick the instruments from the music in cartoons.
When you start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to the people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
When you've dated everyone in the band and now wonder if you're ever going to have another date.
When you think the trumpeters have a right to be egotistical.
When you don't think the flutist have a slight attitude problem.
When you change your instrument to the tuba.
When you have perfect pitch.
When the band director is always right.
When you marry that special someone in your section.
When you have kids and force them to be in music.
When you get the jokes on this list.
when you aren't sure which is more dangerous a girl with a flag or a guy with a gun!
You've been in band to long...
When you hear music and you start marking time.
When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them.
When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
When all your friends are in the band.
When you don't mind changing clothes on the bus.
When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
When every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.
When you like wearing your uniform.
When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?"
When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
When someone hits a wrong note and you chew them out for an hour.
When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
When people worry when they see you without you instrument.
When "armed guard," means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
When band camp is FUN.
When you answer to "Band Nerd."
When someone says the words "atten hut" and you automatically put your head up.
When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.
When your mouth is frozen to your mouth piece, and it feels normal.
When left slides or right back slides feel normal.
When your instrument has a name.
When you remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.
When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
When you give your instrument a birthday party.
When you can make white shoes look black.
When your uniform fits.
When black feathers become a fashion "do".
When you see your section more than you see your family.
When everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.
When you have dreams about early morning marching band.
When you think morning practices should start a half-hour earlier.
When you accidentally call your band director "Dad".
When you CAN sight-read.
When you can put on you uniform in less than 10 minutes.
When reeds taste good.
When you have a band song stuck in your head, and you tap your foot to the beat.
When you think your plume is alive.
When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.
When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
When numbers past 8 aren't important.
When you're more opinionated about the Madison vs. American Fork Bands than the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your lunch.
When you'd rather practice than read this list.
When letters past G aren't important.
When the only class you look forward to is band.
When you actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long.
When you wonder what life would be like if you weren't in band.
When you roll step while you walk to class.
When you major in music.
When you use your high school band director as a role model.
When those stupid "band humor" jokes are the funniest things you've ever heard.
When you pick the instruments from the music in cartoons.
When you start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to the people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
When you've dated everyone in the band and now wonder if you're ever going to have another date.
When you think the trumpeters have a right to be egotistical.
When you don't think the flutist have a slight attitude problem.
When you change your instrument to the tuba.
When you have perfect pitch.
When the band director is always right.
When you marry that special someone in your section.
When you have kids and force them to be in music.
When you get the jokes on this list.
when you aren't sure which is more dangerous a girl with a flag or a guy with a gun!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-05-27 at 22:13:24
Stayin' Alive
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."
So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.
When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren
...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."
So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.
When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren
...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-05-27 at 22:49:06
Ok here we go...Dont get mad its funny and younow it and if you get mad get over it
Ok, This truck driver is bringing a truck load of bikes and bowling balls to a local walmart from the ware house, the walmart he is droping them off at is 2 states over, he is heading to the high way and see's a black guy thumbing for a ride. The truck driver pulls over to pick the guy up. the black guy comes up to the door of the truck and say, "Gee thanks man ive been here for 3 hours" the truck driver said, hey no problum man, but you have to get into the back with my shipment cause i have no room in the cab of my truck, the black guy say hey no problum anything for a ride. the truck driver tells the black guy to just sit on one of the bikes in the back for a seat. So the black man gets into the back of the truck. The truck drive takes off down the high way on his cell phone telling his boss he is on his way to drop off the shipment and he missed the weight station. A Police officer noticed the truck not stoping for the weight station and pulls the truck driver over. The Police Officer says to the truck driver "What are you halling?" The truck driver replys "Just some bikes and bolling balls" The Cop say "Ok lets take a look in the back shell wee?" The truck driver opens the back of the big rig and the cop say " Ok, Get back in your truck and drive to your drop point and dont stop in this state any more you can skip all other weight stations! Just go now!!" The truck driver says yes sir! The truck driver gets in his truck and drives off. The Police Officers Partner says to him "Why did you let him go like that?" He says to his partner "He has a truck full of nigger eggs and one has allready hatch and its stolen a bike!"
thats it...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-05-27 at 22:56:58
w00tage, i dont get it 
Improvements in Hell
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.
One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here."
"No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."
God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Improvements in Hell
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.
One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"
Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here."
"No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."
God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-05-28 at 09:05:23
w00ts to demantrix
Three guy die at an early age and go to heaven. while there God decides that they died to young so he says to them "See this cloud here run and jump off it and say wot u wanna become. then u will become that"
The first guy runs and jumps off "An artist", and he is.
The second guy runs and jumps off "An engineer", and he is.
The third guy while running trips and falls off the cloud and shouts "aawww crap"
Three guy die at an early age and go to heaven. while there God decides that they died to young so he says to them "See this cloud here run and jump off it and say wot u wanna become. then u will become that"
The first guy runs and jumps off "An artist", and he is.
The second guy runs and jumps off "An engineer", and he is.
The third guy while running trips and falls off the cloud and shouts "aawww crap"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-05-30 at 17:27:07
wootage, for every one but Dimensia
Splish Splash Through the Field
A blond was driving along a country road, listening to the radio. The D.J. was telling blonde jokes one after the other, and she got extremly pissed off and turned of the radio.
She continued down the road, and in a field she saw another blond in a canoe trying to row across the field. She stopped and got out of the car, and yelled across to the other blond, "It's Blondes like you who make everyone think I'm stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"
Splish Splash Through the Field
A blond was driving along a country road, listening to the radio. The D.J. was telling blonde jokes one after the other, and she got extremly pissed off and turned of the radio.
She continued down the road, and in a field she saw another blond in a canoe trying to row across the field. She stopped and got out of the car, and yelled across to the other blond, "It's Blondes like you who make everyone think I'm stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by EzDay281 on 2004-05-30 at 18:11:09
... Some1 already said that, Demantrix... -.-
This is less of a joke than just something... very unfortanute.(TRUE STORY)
This guy, wanting to commit suicide, tied a rope around his neck, the other side on a cliff, drank poison, set himself on fire, aimed a gun at his head, and jumped off the cliff.
When he fired, he was moving fast enough that the bullet cut the rope instead of killing him, he landed in a pool of water, vaumeted up the poison.
Later, he died of nemonea or something.(However it's spelled, maybe pneumonea? Something...)
Unlucky, eh?
This is less of a joke than just something... very unfortanute.(TRUE STORY)
This guy, wanting to commit suicide, tied a rope around his neck, the other side on a cliff, drank poison, set himself on fire, aimed a gun at his head, and jumped off the cliff.
When he fired, he was moving fast enough that the bullet cut the rope instead of killing him, he landed in a pool of water, vaumeted up the poison.
Later, he died of nemonea or something.(However it's spelled, maybe pneumonea? Something...)
Unlucky, eh?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-05-30 at 18:18:49
well, outch, i also didnt no some one said that already, im sorry for wasting space
How to Keep a Blond Busy
how do you keep a blond busy? (see below)
how do you keep a blond busy? (see above)
How to Keep a Blond Busy
how do you keep a blond busy? (see below)
how do you keep a blond busy? (see above)
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-05-30 at 22:07:40
Demantrx i didnt take ur joke so dont start with me.
Three guys, two vegitarians and a military commander, are in a plane with a pilot. There almost to there destination when the pilot goes, "were too heavy, each of you have to throw one thing off it or we'll crash".
The 1st vegitarian throws off a cabbage.
The 2nd vegitarian throws off another cabbage.
The military commander throws off a genernade.
When they land they each go and reclaim there items. They walk until they see a little girl crying on the sidewalk. They ask "Wot happend?"
The little girl cries "a big cabbage thing fell out of the sky and hit me on the head"
They say there sry, take the cabbage and leave.
They continue walking untill the see another little girl cring. They ask "Wot happend?"
The little girl cries "A big cabbage fell out of the ski and hit me on the head"
They say their sry and move on with the 2nd cabbage.
They walk on until they see a little boy laughing his butt off. They ask "Wot happend?"
The little boy replies "I farted and the house behind me blew up"
Three guys, two vegitarians and a military commander, are in a plane with a pilot. There almost to there destination when the pilot goes, "were too heavy, each of you have to throw one thing off it or we'll crash".
The 1st vegitarian throws off a cabbage.
The 2nd vegitarian throws off another cabbage.
The military commander throws off a genernade.
When they land they each go and reclaim there items. They walk until they see a little girl crying on the sidewalk. They ask "Wot happend?"
The little girl cries "a big cabbage thing fell out of the sky and hit me on the head"
They say there sry, take the cabbage and leave.
They continue walking untill the see another little girl cring. They ask "Wot happend?"
The little girl cries "A big cabbage fell out of the ski and hit me on the head"
They say their sry and move on with the 2nd cabbage.
They walk on until they see a little boy laughing his butt off. They ask "Wot happend?"
The little boy replies "I farted and the house behind me blew up"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-06-01 at 14:52:59
? what did i say to upset you NOW, dimensia?
Pops the Question
A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to, she would have to pay him five dollars; And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn't know the answer to, the lawyer had to pay the blonde 50 dollars. So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars. The blonde then asks him, "What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?" The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 50 dollars. Then the lawyer asked her what the answer was and without a word the blonde gave the lawyer five dollars.
Pops the Question
A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to, she would have to pay him five dollars; And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn't know the answer to, the lawyer had to pay the blonde 50 dollars. So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars. The blonde then asks him, "What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?" The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 50 dollars. Then the lawyer asked her what the answer was and without a word the blonde gave the lawyer five dollars.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by evolipel on 2004-06-01 at 18:16:58
dimensia, someone said the last joke you've told already.
Meh, hypocrite... If you wanted to be a spelling/grammar Nazi, you would have said:
Also, the spelling feature said that I mispelled "I'm" and "What's". I would guess it doesn't correct abbreviation properly, but it seemed fine before.
I don't know why this cracked me up and many other people (I don't usually laugh at these types of jokes), but here it is, nice and simple:
Two muffins are in an oven.
The first one says, "It's getting hot in here."
The second one replies, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!"
Don't ask why, it's just funny to me.
"The spelling would of helped me understand that. Theres no excuse since we have a spellcheck feature which no other forums really have."
Meh, hypocrite... If you wanted to be a spelling/grammar Nazi, you would have said:
"The spelling would have helped me understand that. There's no excuse, since we have a spellcheck feature that no other forum really has."
Also, the spelling feature said that I mispelled "I'm" and "What's". I would guess it doesn't correct abbreviation properly, but it seemed fine before.
I don't know why this cracked me up and many other people (I don't usually laugh at these types of jokes), but here it is, nice and simple:
Two muffins are in an oven.
The first one says, "It's getting hot in here."
The second one replies, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!"
Don't ask why, it's just funny to me.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-06-03 at 14:12:07
evolipel, you do no who yoshi is dont you, dissing him of all people is a bad idea, i no, i have in the past
Soccer Blonde
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
Soccer Blonde
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-06-04 at 16:46:47
hah check this out look at it then look again upside down lol L
A
O
wtrite tyhat down its funny
A
O
wtrite tyhat down its funny
Report, edit, etc...Posted by flaming_X on 2004-06-04 at 23:19:53
It's funny how I opened this thread one month ago and people still like it! This is like the high of my empire here on SEN! Hmm....I wonder if I will ever get to 100 replies....
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-06-04 at 23:26:52
cj420, you do no there is a spell check, right?
Government Tactics
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Government Tactics
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by evolipel on 2004-06-04 at 23:54:54
QUOTE(Demantrix @ Jun 3 2004, 01:12 PM)
evolipel, you do no who yoshi is dont you, dissing him of all people is a bad idea, i no, i have in the past
I would imagine you dissing him a bad idea, but when it comes down to hypocrites, I don't care if a person is the webmaster of the world, he/she's still a hypocrite.
"evolipel, you do no who yoshi is dont you, dissing him of all people is a bad idea, i no, i have in the past" <-- by my first impressions, I wouldn't really consider you being serious about dissing anyone (sry about that, it's all good
).So did anyone else laugh for some reason at my joke, since I don't know wtf came over me when I found it funny.
"cj420, you do no there is a spell check, right?"
*sigh* I'm adding you to the list also. Spelling Nazi time (you [I]no[/I I find it hard to believe that spelling could be so hard even to native people to the language):
"Evolipel, you do know who Yoshi is, don't you? Dissing him out of all people is a bad idea, believe me, I have in the past."
"cj420, you do know there is a spell check, right?"
Yey to the person out of the numerous people who have taken English as a second language.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-06-05 at 00:16:27
lets get something straight, i have the attention span of a small rodent, big words confuse me, as for he second language thing, i dont no if you meant me And cj420, but were both from new york, born and raised, so we no the language inside and out.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by evolipel on 2004-06-05 at 15:12:29
I meant that I have no idea why the hell Americans can't get their own language straight when people from other countries ace in within months (yes, that's right, I learned it in three months just by watching TV.) Most of the time, I don't have an accent, but sometimes just a slight one appears.
...and I'm not sure what you're trying to do: either further demoralize Americans or try to be sarcastic when you say:
"so we no the language inside and out." If you would know the language inside and out, you would not only speak it normally but be able to write it as well.
I agree on most of this guy's views: http://maddox.xmission.com/
It's probably because most of them make sense (I didn't say all of them.) If you think that he's a hypocrite, you probably don't have a good sarcasm detection.
...and I'm not sure what you're trying to do: either further demoralize Americans or try to be sarcastic when you say:
"so we no the language inside and out." If you would know the language inside and out, you would not only speak it normally but be able to write it as well.
I agree on most of this guy's views: http://maddox.xmission.com/
It's probably because most of them make sense (I didn't say all of them.) If you think that he's a hypocrite, you probably don't have a good sarcasm detection.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Demantrix on 2004-06-05 at 15:22:46
its faster you nazi, now lets get back on topic, plus its not OUR language, its the British that started it.
Breast Stroke
There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
Breast Stroke
There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Valahan on 2004-06-05 at 16:04:30
How can no one get the first joke? the whole point of that joke, is to "burn" your friend. You tell the joke to him, and ask him what the "horse with the horn" is called, he says "unicorn!" and then you say "Hurray for the retarded kid!"
K, blond joke.
For her 16th birthday, her father buys her a brand new convertible. So she decides to go out driving in it. She's driving along, and she cuts off a transport. The guy starts tooting his horn and motioning for her to pull over. She does.
He gets out of his truck and tells her to get out of her car. She does, he tells her to get beside his transport, and he draws a circle with some chalk on the ground. He tells her "Stay inside the circle, or else!"
He pulls out a knife and slashes her tires. The blond starts laughing, and he gets more angry.
He uses the knife again, this time scratching the car and ripping the leather seats. The blond starts laughing again.
So he gets REALLY mad. He goes to his truck and pulls out a baseball bat. He starts smashing her window, her lights and starts denting the car.
She's still laughing, so he turns around and asks her "Why are you laughing? I just destroyed your car!!!"
She says "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking!"
K, blond joke.
For her 16th birthday, her father buys her a brand new convertible. So she decides to go out driving in it. She's driving along, and she cuts off a transport. The guy starts tooting his horn and motioning for her to pull over. She does.
He gets out of his truck and tells her to get out of her car. She does, he tells her to get beside his transport, and he draws a circle with some chalk on the ground. He tells her "Stay inside the circle, or else!"
He pulls out a knife and slashes her tires. The blond starts laughing, and he gets more angry.
He uses the knife again, this time scratching the car and ripping the leather seats. The blond starts laughing again.
So he gets REALLY mad. He goes to his truck and pulls out a baseball bat. He starts smashing her window, her lights and starts denting the car.
She's still laughing, so he turns around and asks her "Why are you laughing? I just destroyed your car!!!"
She says "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking!"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Silent on 2004-06-05 at 17:51:42
lol. Good one.
How do u keep a 5$bill safe in mexico?
put it under a bar of soap!
How do u get everyones atention in mexico?
roll a quarter down the street!
How do u find the richest person in mexico?
Find the perso who picked up the qaurter!
NOTE YOU FOOLS WHO THINK IM A RACIST:
im only part racist, my mom was a jewish lizard
and my dad was a mexican.....
making me a mexican jew lizard
No, im no mexi, nor is my mom a lizard, but shes about as smart as one.
How do u keep a 5$bill safe in mexico?
put it under a bar of soap!
How do u get everyones atention in mexico?
roll a quarter down the street!
How do u find the richest person in mexico?
Find the perso who picked up the qaurter!
NOTE YOU FOOLS WHO THINK IM A RACIST:
im only part racist, my mom was a jewish lizard
and my dad was a mexican.....
making me a mexican jew lizard
No, im no mexi, nor is my mom a lizard, but shes about as smart as one.