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I need help finding the best joke of all time! So far, all I have is this:

The Retarded Kid Joke
A mentaly challenged kid goes to the first grade for the first time. His teacher introduces him to the class and he sits down. They start the first activity, which is identifying what pictures are. The teacher hold up a picture of a cat and the retarded kid says,"I's a cat."
The class replies, "Hurray for the retarded kid!"
The teacher hold up a picture of a hat and the retarded kid says, "It's a ht."
The class replies, "Hurry for the retarded kid!"
Then the teacher hold up...um...what's that horse with a horn called...you know the mythological creature?

Let the friend answer Unicorn, then say, "Hurray for the retarded kid!"



I would just like to say, going along with this thread, that the jokes are not made to make other feel inferior. So blond jokes are not directed to blonds and that joke I made was not directed towards retards. (Basically, I don't want to make fun of other people!)

my Joke is right L write theat on a pice of paper and connesct the letters the way A they are and connerct them and turn the paper upside O down. lol

The best joke ever, I'd say "Why did the chicken cross the road?" So classic yet so complex .

Also new smileys

Heh. Highlight the white area below if you really want to read this joke. It's racist, but it's okay because I'm Jewish and you can be racist about your own people if it's funny.

Q: Where do you send a Jew with Attention Deficit Disorder?
A: To a concentration camp!

I know it's horrible, but it still makes me laugh out loud. I mean, what's funnier than blatant racism? I'm not really racist, by the way. I just like risque (pronounced ris•kay, but I don't know how to make that "e" with the little line over it on my Mac) jokes.

My favorite type of jokes are the "Yo momma is so fat..." ones. So many different ways to end it.

Only one I can think of now: Yo momma is so fat, when she jumped, she got stuck.

this is directed toward gangsta's, so if there are any african-americans, dont take offense

Q: Why are black people good at basketball?

A: Cause they can Shoot, Steal, And Run!

im not racist, but i like political and racial jokes

Going with what he said up there -

Q: Why are all black people fast ?

A: All the slow ones are in jail.

I isn't racist either
I dont get that retarded kid one.

Me neither.
" but I don't know how to make that "e" with the little line over it on my Mac"
ÈÉéè U mean any of those?
Anyway, I like this one most(actualy, it's just best I can think of at moment):
A snake's chasing a rabit, and they run into a genie.
Genie: Hello, creatures, being the genie I am, I will grant you BOTH 2 wishes!
Snake: Ok! I wish that all female snakes I met instantly loved me.
Rabbit: I wish that I had a motorcycle helmet and gear!
Snake: That wa sa stupid wish! You can't even RIDE a motorcycle! Anyway, I wish that all the snakes in this island were female!
Rabbit: I wish I could ride motorcycles.
Snake: Actualy, for my last wish, I'm going to wish that all the snakes in the WORLD, bar me, were female!
Rabbit: Hehehe, I wish that he were gay.
Snake: Noo! Stupid rabbit!
*Rabbit drives off on Motorcycle*

EzDay2, that was a nice joke! Just change the 2 wishes two three!

Here's a blong joke, but I don't mean it to be offensive! Most people here call this one a classic!

A Blond, a burnet, and a red-head are driving though the desert when their car breaks down. They all decided to take one thing from the car. The Burnet takes all the food and says, "The food will let me eat longer!" The red-head takes all the water and says, "So I don't get so thirsty!" The blond takes the car door and the others ask, "Why are you taking the car door?" The blond replies, "So when I get hot, I can roll the window down!

A women gets into the elevator one friday and finds another man in there. She says, "T.G.I.F."
The man says, "S. H.I.T." Instantly, the women thinks that the guy must think that she was cussing at him, so she says, "No, it means 'Thank God it's Friday."
He says, "Sorry Honey, it's Thursday."
hehe

Once, there was a guy that wanted the enter in the Police. The Police stepped aside and the guy crashed in the wall.


Super-classic.

Those are interesting!

Here is another blond joke, just because I have so many!

A blond, burnet, and red-head are all going to try and swim across the atlantic ocean. The burnet tries and only gets 1/3 the way, so she takes a boat back. The red-head gets 1/2 the way, so she takes a boat back. The blond swims almost all the way, infact, she is only a foot from the shore, but she SWIMS back! When the news asked her why she swam back, she replied, "I got tired!"

Maybe not that good, but I have two more in my head for later posts!

ROFLMAO. I think thats the best one.

WHAT?? That is SO WWII!!!! God!

Well, here is another blond joke from the big book of blonds! (By some Blond!)

The Mirror
There is this mirror where if a person lies they get sucked in. So a burnet walks up to the mirror and says, "I'm the queen of the world!" and she gets sucked into the mirror. Then a red-head walks up to the mirror and says, "I am better than everyone at everything!" and she gets sucked into the mirror. Then a blond comes up to the mirror and says, "let me think..." and she gets sucked into the mirror!

Heh. Here's a joke that a freind told, which is a bit sensitive and rascist. Only works if the guy telling it is a German...so here it is.

"My grandfather died in World War II. His gun jammed and those Jews beat him to death".

Okay, so I'm Chinese. The joke isn't as funny.

These two are racist jokes (NOTE: I'm not a racist):

Q: What do you say when you see a floating TV in the dark?
A: "Drop it nigger!!"

Q: Why do black people have nightmares?
A: Because the last one "To have a dream" got shot!

This one is not much of a joke, but hey what the hell:

It takes 46 muscles to frown, but it takes only 4 to show a finger!!

w00t ok here we go.



Q: why are blonds cofins dimond shaped??


A: becz when there head hits the pillow there legs spread

(Warning: Mature content)

This couple is golfing at a goldcourse, and it happens to have lots of really expensive houses near it, so the husband tells his wife to make sure she doesn't hit any of the houses, because then they'd have to pay the owner a lot of money.
So she hits the golfball, and it flies straight through the window of one of the houses.
Husband: Ah, damn! Oh well, now we gotta go and pay them money for their stupid rich window...
So they go to the house, knock on the door and tell the person there what happened. So he says
"Actualy, I was a genie in a bottle on the window shelf, and your golfball hit my lamp, freeing me. Being the genie I am, I have to give you each 3 wishes, but let's say that, because it was an accident, we each get 1, ok?"
So they agree, and the husband asks for $1000,000 every day, every day of his life.
Genie: Granted!
Then the wife wishes for 1 house in every country on Earth, along with free trips to them whenever she wants.
Genie: Granted. Now, fo rmy wish, I want to have sex with your wife.
Wife: What?! No!
Husband: Comon, honey, we'll get all that money and those houses!
Wife: fine, ok.
So, after an hour of sex, the genie rolls over and asks the wife a question.
Genie: So, how old's your husband?
Wife: 47. Why?
Genie: He's THAT old and he still believe in genies?!




LOL

An Aggie, a longhorn, and a baylor bear were all flying on a plane.

The pilot announced that there was too much cargo and that everyone had to drop one item out of the window. The longhorn dropped an apple, the baylor bear dropped an orange, and the aggie dropped a grenade.

When they touched down, they came across a girl crying. They asked her what was wrong and she said, "I was just sitting here and an apple hit me in the head...".

Then they came across a little boy and he was crying. They asked him what was wrong and he said "I was just sitting here and an orange hit me in the head".

Then they came across a little boy in the street, laughing while a nearby house was burning. They asked him what was so funny and he said, "I farted and the house behind me blew up".

That's all I got for now at least.

b.d

A blond joke.
Q:Whats the differance between a blond and a ironing board?

A:Its harder to get an ironing boards legs open.

A few kinda racist jokes.

Q:What do you call white people running down a hill?

A:Avalance

Q:What do you call a bunch of blacks unning down a hill?

A:Mud slide

Q:What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?

A:Jail Break


hehe i had to use tht and im not rascist

Here's the poorest joke ever.

Q: How do you get holy water?

A: Bail the hell out of it.

OOOOOOOOO

That was awsome EzDay2! I liked that Joke!!!

Well, here's another:

Iron Fist
A man, a woman, and a kid walk into a bar. Now, I don't want to be rude or anything, but the kid is damn ugly. To save others from seeing his face, the man puts a bag over his head and says never take it off. Well, the kid says Mom, do I look pretty? And the Mom says no. So the kid asks her to put lipstick on him and so she puts lipstick in circles (looking like a target) around the bag. The kid has no idea he has a target on his face. They go and sit down and the Man asks for a beer, the woman asks for a beer, and the kid asks for a soda. The lady says, would you like a straw with that? He answers yes. Ten minutes later the lady comes out and says they are all out of soda, so the kid says he will have anything. The lady says anything? She says she will show him something really cool if he takes off the bag, so he does. The minute he takes off the bag, a man with iron fists hits him! The end! Not exactly funny, but interesting!

Hmm, I have a good one! Give me a minute!

Three guys walk into a bar.
The fourth one ducks.


Also, whats difference between a Mexican and a couch?

A couch can support a family.

Wots the difference between Britney Spears and Barby

NOne

Woah I almost laughed at that one :/

Here's one: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
Her feet!