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Granted, but the cow and penguin die a minute after you get them.

I wish Ann Coulter and Michael Moore were never born.

Wish Granted, but since you completely ruined my wish-
They get born in... 2 minutes.

You didn't put a wish?

I wish I had 3000 lbs of pot (legally of course ) and I will not die of an O.D. (Overdose for noobs who don't know), there is nothing in it to kill me instantly, just normal everyday pot. And that its legal. and that nothing can go wrong.

Granted, but something does go wrong. You run out of pot after a whole day of smoking it.

I wish that Zerg and Protoss are real.

Granted, now Earth is bombarded with crazy lil zergs killin all you, protoss end up destroying planet more by killing zerg.

The world dies. BYE!

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Thats not a bad thing!! I thing yo are smoking cow pies!

You smoke the pot but your parents are anti-smokers.
They are into the anti-pot thing so much they kill you.

I wish, uhm, today was forgotten...

Granted, but one person escapes the memory purging and tells everyone else about today.

I wish I was undead.

Granted, but now everyone runs from you, making you sad.

I wish I had a potato.

Granted, but the potato is poisoned and you die when you eat it.

I wish I had a Terran Battlecruiser.

Granted; being as you're a giant flying metal thing, you don't even know you exist to appreciate it.

I wish taht I were an animated, sentient, genius alpha rock that crash-landed on Earth.
As of my landing, I am 3 pounds in weight and of the same density as water.

Granted, but someone deleted the animation.

I wish I had a dollar.

granted by when you find out you realize he was talking about the dead zombies in your closet



i wish i was a purple....

Granted, you're now purple. Nobody likes purple so nobody likes you.
Feeling depressed, you commit suicide.

I wish that I could kill one person and get away with it and the no harm comes my way in doing so.

Granted, but you get killed fisrt.

I wish " " was green...

Granted, but you never get to see it. Also you die. Somehow.
I wish v5 was done.

Granted, but they ban you.

I wish I hadnt've made this wish.

Granted. You go back in time to stop yourself from making the wish, only to complete your wish by doing so. The lapse of logic rips apart the Universe, destroying everything. I wish Pekkel and Moose would have a battle to the death.

Granted, this text is as useless as O)FaRTy1billion, which is pretty damn useless.
I wish O)FaRTy1billion was useful.

ADDITION:
You little er Theoretical Human.
(I'm kidding of course. )

I'm useless...

Is anyone going to corrupt my wish?

As the powers of duck and moose collide, every mass-body within several million lightyears suddenly fly towards them, as though the planets, star, comets, and nebulae themselves wish to fight for their respective masters. The battle lasts for countless millions of millenia, and civilizations universe-wide live in constant fear of the approaching sound of moose and mallard bringing the fight to their homeplanet... several quintillion years later, a hatchling civilization appears, the Goshnacks, and mourns for the countless dead ones that were killed by the battle between MiniMoose and Pekkel, and seek to spread life into the universe once again, but even as they leave their planet, the two relentless fighters return, and all hope for sentient life in the universe is destroyed along with the Goshnacks...

I wish that I were a good writer.

Granted. You become a skilled writer and generate three best selling novels. Suddenly you have hordes of fans impeding you at any stop. Eventually you disguise yourself and go out for food without a bodyguard. You trip, and the disguise fails, and a swarm of rabid fangirls descend on you, tearing off anything they can to sell on Ebay. I wish that Indecisiveman was more decisive.

Granted, but indecisiveman decides to kill you.

I wish I was indecisive.

Granted, but you become insane, as your indecisiveness causes you to wonder whether the wish being granted was a good thing or not, and whether you should ask me if I could please revoke the wish.

I wish I weren't so damned indecisive!

You become decisive and one day you are given the chance to eat a moose head or a cow's foot. You decided to eat the moose head before hearing the third option, which was eating an apple pie because you're so decisive. You get diarrhea and can't walk for days. Moose also hears of you eating his brother's head and gathers his other miniature friends to hunt you down and give you atomic wedgies 5 days a week for the next 5 years. Weekends they go skiing down the Appalchians with their reindeer friends.

I wish I did my homework earlier.