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that banana used to be a potatoe

Way to not read the rules.

Damnit Echo, Stop bragging. We don't care about your 300 damn minerals

I love the staff. They hug me everyday before I go to work.

The z is supposed to be a t ;p. Go Censors!

The person that should win should be the one that post the #1337th post

Kellimus, please be more confrontational. Especially in this, what might be the least serious topic ever.

BTW, no need to tell anyone they broke the rules - they just don't win.

No this is:
http://www.staredit.net/index.php?showtopic=302

Ah, the [you] tag. That was fun.

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fark your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Better:

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Old Joke I made up to mess with my ex: How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

I added one to my sig.

Owned yoruself...

Once upon a time in the far away land of smullenhoeister a camel was born.
I ran up and kicked him in the head and kicked him in the head, we now know that camel as MiniMoose2707.

Wasn't that lucky? If it wasn't for me we'd all be telling incredibly bad jokes to MiniCamel2707.

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and say, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says,"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains really hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he soils the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides".

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!"

The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.

The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."

''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"

The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."

The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...''

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

---

eh i dont know if this one is under 200 letters w/e just read it its really funny


A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a biznatch to death with the chair!"

my life is a joke...

Reasons why it's great to be a man..
•If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
•The remote is yours and yours alone.
•Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
•One mood, all the time.
•You can be president.
•You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
•You know stuff about tanks.
•Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
•You can open all your own jars.


http://www.lmao.ws/showjoke.php?joke_id=76

haha

Boy: 'I got an F in arithmetic.'
Father: 'Why?'
Boy: 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6''
Father: 'But that's right!'
Boy: 'Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
Father: 'What's the farking difference?'
Boy: 'That's exactly what I said!'

WARNING ::: Racism (plz dont warn just remove it )

(This is relative to war of the worlds lol)

Alright, heres the bad news. Aliens are invading new york, real bad..

But theres some good news. they get rid of the worlds two biggest problems. they Eat leeroys and piss gasoline

I'm not a Mac person. I dont like my computers pretty.
[attachmentid=18485]

hah my old computer has the 2 hard drives sticking out like that

Maybe I should take a pciture of my room

It'd give you a better understanding of how messy I really am.