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What does a blonde say when she sees cheerios?

Hey look doughnut seeds!

I just had to tell you that lol

well i dont speak 12 yearold african

Omg, those were hilarious. 9/10

6/10 for Atreyu)

Now for one of my favorites... If Abraham Lincoln were Italian, what would he have named his infamous speech?







The Spaghetti's-burg Address!

5/10 Old'd

So there's these two strings, right? They walk into a bar and the first string says "Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe7954454gh2kjn.,.43>>[][]21?24" The second string says "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated"

6/10

Im not racist but i dont really have anyt jokes but racist ones(my friends told them to me.. LOL)

What does a black person wrapped in a red sleeping blanket look like?

A kit-kat chunky

Why are black people so fast?

Because all of the slow ones are in jail.. ROFL

what do you call a black priest?

A holy crap

How long did it take for the black wife to take a crap?

9 months

6/10

I hear too many racist jokes at school already

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now, Class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

haha nice, 7/10

Ok, i was playing Halo 2 on XBOX live the other day, and sum british guy comes out of nowhere and tell this REALLY GAY joke, its pretty funny cause it doesent make any sense at all



Ok, two people walk into a bar, and the bartender says" what would you guys like?" so the first guy says "id like some water", and the second one says "id like some grass" GET IT? HES A HORSE!!

so i was just like.. wow wat a fag after teh game rofl.. it makes noooo sense

the joke two above me was a quote from Bash.org lets try to keep this topic as jokes not quotes from Bash plz.



Have you heard about the Austrian firing Squad?




Yeah they stand in a circle.

Alright, this ones old, I'll succumb to racism for now.

So there are two black people in a plane, the pilot turns on the intercom and says "We need to drop some luggage, as we have an engine problem" he drops luggage. "We still have a problem, we're too heavy, so we're now going to drop people" Now umm.. "African-American's please get off the plane now." So the boy says to his dad "Aren't we african-american's daddy?" His dad replies "No son, today, we're n!ggers."

3/10

Two guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would have seen it.

4/10 heard it before

What do u call something with meat cheese between 2 pieces of bread

a sandwich! HAHAHAHA

1/10

A guy walks into a bar. He says "Ow."

Sorry, but it's all I could think of.

What do you call a teenager who's sleep schedule is way off and can barely keep his eyes op... en...

*keyboardfaceplant*

2/10 Hmmmm....

A rabbit walks into a barber shop and the barber says "What's with the hare?" (say it out loud)

2/10 same it sounds funny but runs out of the plot.

This is a funny joke a student at school told me.

Ok one day 3 people named manners,crap and shut up walked up a hill. Crap fell down so manners went to go get him while shut up went to go get help. When he got to the police station the officer asked...

"So whats your name little boy"
"Shut up"
"Pardon?
"It's Shut up"
"Say it one more time clearly"
"Shut up"

The officer got angry and asked.
"WHERES YOUR MANNERS RUNT!"
Then shut up replied.
"Up the hill picking up crap."

2/10 what are we 3rd graders?

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?





Nothin you already told her twice.

10/10

What do you call a guy with his hand up a camels ass?
An afghani mechanic!

8/10 to both, they're very clever.

I don't think the Gandhi pun has been told so here it is:

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...

a super callous fragile mystic hexed by alitosis!

If you don't get it, watch Mary Poppins.

8/10 I've heard that one, but I like it. I've got a similar one:

One day, I was walking down the streets of Moscow (during the height of the Soviet Union) with my lovely wife when I felt a sprinkle of rain hit my face. "I believe it's going to rain." I said. She responded "It is not, there aren't enough clouds." "Trust me, it's going to rain, honey." I said. As we conversed, we happened to pass by a Kremlin guard named Rudolph. He proclaimed "He's right ma'am, it is going to rain!"

So I said: "See? Rudolph, the red, knows rain, dear!"

(sound it out)

7/10 Old but good.

In California, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, party finds YOU!

(Just think about it. It also has to do with their syntax)

5/10 meh


Why are Brides dresses white?



They match the Appliances

In america you have des warewolf's
in soviet russia wolf wears you.
cough(toomuchvodka)cough

I got one:

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
































Becayse 7 has an arrest warrant out for him for the murders of a Californian banker, his wife, and the attempted rape of the banker's daughter. He is also suspected of the murder of a drifter going by the name of "Sanchez".

9/10 becuse thats not what I was expecting!

I thought this topic should be revived!

0/10 that joke was hillourious. *cough sarcasm *cough.

Your mama is so moleculey unstable that not even gravity could hold her.

Your mama is so fat when she was done at the all you can eat buffet the manager said "OUT OF ORDER"