so I have a speech due tomarrow. This is what I am turning, and what I supposedly have memorized. any pointers?
A Great Newspaper
Suppose you are driving down highway I-279, moments after you
were excused from your desk. Only to be stuck inching along a crowded roadway. Such was the position that Bernard Rothstein faced on Monday. He was unable to move for over an hour. And, upon no one in particular, let loose the wild expectations he had in roadways and how they were ill matched with the incompetent future before him. The one to blame for his apoplectic proclamations was his own self, as he was the one who created every inch of the new roadway. Down to the very fountain in the middle of a median, which was intended to add a little style.
Such is one of the charming stories you would find in a weekly newspaper named The Onion. The Onion, unlike the Rocky Mountain News or the Denver Post is a newspaper determined to bring only the best in comical entertainment. It reminds me of the time when I had my own satirical newspaper, named The Rolling Stone. Now, the Rolling Stone was only a minor whim compared to the glory The Onion has acquired from myself. Such works are hard to come by these days and those that come by appear to have no work put in them. This is not the case with the fine men and women who work at The Onion. Every comment is placed with such precision, dexterity and wisdom that King Saul himself would be in a fit of jealousy. I commend The Onion on it’s good works and would like to advise the wonderful men and women here to read it as quickly as possible.
QUOTE(FireKame @ Mar 10 2004, 09:22 PM)
Such is one of the charming stories you would find in a weekly newspaper named The Onion. The Onion, unlike the Rocky Mountain News or the Denver Post is a newspaper determined to bring only the best in comical entertainment.
Hmm thoose are colorado newspapers, do you live there? I do. w00t