Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-03-17 at 21:22:31
Well, I am a newbie, but then again would it matter? I got something through the e-mails, and I found them quite interesting.... hopefully, you will enjoy it... if not, then... sue me! 
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and
that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn
upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed ...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
ps. I do appologize, it's a little long, but then, hopefully you have chukkle once....
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and
that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn
upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed ...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
ps. I do appologize, it's a little long, but then, hopefully you have chukkle once....
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Yoshi da Sniper on 2004-03-17 at 21:28:48
HAHAHA! 
Thats great. I couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes straight!
I love translations in foriegn countries, like "Do not spit to loud, thanks" (its real
)
Thats great. I couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes straight!I love translations in foriegn countries, like "Do not spit to loud, thanks" (its real
)Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-03-17 at 21:29:26
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-03-17 at 21:44:06
Doomed... Damn right.
There was a translation over here, in french. In english, it said "frozen chickens breasts", and, translated in french, it meant "frozen chicken boobs".
Stupid people.... lol
Good one, Kiko
There was a translation over here, in french. In english, it said "frozen chickens breasts", and, translated in french, it meant "frozen chicken boobs".
Stupid people.... lol
Good one, Kiko
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mini Moose 2707 on 2004-03-17 at 21:47:08
I have the same exact article he got off that... I taped it to the wall in my room a few years ago. 
http://www.theantiher0.com/teenkill.htm
http://www.theantiher0.com/teenkill.htm
Report, edit, etc...Posted by dashrike on 2004-03-18 at 09:59:53
Some of mine I've collected:
"You give a man 2.54 cm and he takes 1.6093 km."
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"Seven out of ten people suffer from hemmorhoids." Does this mean that the other three enjoy it?"
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black men."
"I would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
"640k ought to be enough for anybody."
"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies."
"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."
"My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil."
"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
"The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again."
"Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones."
"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk."
"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words."
"State Legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prevents them from running for a higher office."
"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here."
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again..."
"A committee is a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl."
"Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less."
"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."
"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
Private: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
Sergeant: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
"I wasn't kidding. I do have a test today. It's on European Socialism. What's the big deal? I'm not European. I don't plan on becoming European. So why should I care if they're socialists? They could be facist, anarchist pigs. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't have a car."
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it"
A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home."
"The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words."
"Help! I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet."
"He had battle-honed senses and a warrior's awareness of the world. Hah. A handful of biting insects, and he was ready to roll over and wave the white flag of surrender."
"They say that Time flies like an arrow.
I say that fruit flies like a banana."
"haha... mozilla rocks... I accidently clicked on horse pron on stileproject and it crashed before displaying it."
"You give a man 2.54 cm and he takes 1.6093 km."
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"Seven out of ten people suffer from hemmorhoids." Does this mean that the other three enjoy it?"
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black men."
"I would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
"640k ought to be enough for anybody."
"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies."
"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."
"My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil."
"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
"The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again."
"Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones."
"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk."
"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words."
"State Legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prevents them from running for a higher office."
"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here."
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again..."
"A committee is a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl."
"Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less."
"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."
"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
Private: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
Sergeant: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
"I wasn't kidding. I do have a test today. It's on European Socialism. What's the big deal? I'm not European. I don't plan on becoming European. So why should I care if they're socialists? They could be facist, anarchist pigs. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't have a car."
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it"
A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home."
"The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words."
"Help! I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet."
"He had battle-honed senses and a warrior's awareness of the world. Hah. A handful of biting insects, and he was ready to roll over and wave the white flag of surrender."
"They say that Time flies like an arrow.
I say that fruit flies like a banana."
"haha... mozilla rocks... I accidently clicked on horse pron on stileproject and it crashed before displaying it."
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-03-18 at 10:20:07
you collect a lot more than I did.....
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dark Templar on 2004-03-18 at 11:43:09
I love stupid warnings, I think theres a site named stupidlabels.com or funnywarnings.com dedicated to showing how stupid some people can be when they write these.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by en_taro_shrimpy on 2004-03-18 at 11:47:23
That was some really funny stuff. I love stupid things like that I even did a presentation on it.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by ent on 2004-03-18 at 11:53:38
QUOTE
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
lol ive never seen this chainsaw... and i have seen alot of swedish chainsaws hehehe
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Aster on 2004-03-18 at 14:07:39
QUOTE
I even did a presentation on it.
He took it from me. To see mine...Here.EDIT: Crap its too big...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by en_taro_shrimpy on 2004-03-18 at 14:14:55
I did a totally different presentation than yours.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Aster on 2004-03-18 at 14:17:31
Idea = mine.
Site u took images from = i found.
therefore you = copied.
Site u took images from = i found.
therefore you = copied.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Yoshi da Sniper on 2004-03-18 at 15:14:52
You guys were warned about this. This is unrelated, plus no one knows what your talking about.
Warn level up for the both of you.
Warn level up for the both of you.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Rayne on 2004-03-18 at 15:22:02
Thats some funny 
man... LoL yea i still cant stop laughing...
man... LoL yea i still cant stop laughing...Report, edit, etc...Posted by Aster on 2004-03-18 at 15:33:32
Yoshi, you've said before: the only way to decrease warn level is to do something good for the site.
i.e., the 2 maps I just submitted? Could that at least get me back to 10%
i.e., the 2 maps I just submitted? Could that at least get me back to 10%
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-03-18 at 20:36:48
I am sorry to get you two into trouble, I really don't mean to, I just made this thread to have fun talking... I really have no attempt on getting you in trouble... sorry, hopefully, Yoshi will lower your warning level soon..... 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by en_taro_shrimpy on 2004-03-18 at 20:39:55
Hopefully but I dout it.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-03-18 at 20:56:50
now I feel really really bad..... 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Yoshi da Sniper on 2004-03-19 at 00:52:19
Nah its not your fault. They've been warned and they know they shouldn't do that.
Yes, warn level goes down for good things you do. Sumbitting anything to the DLDB wont do sorry. Its helping, but it screws up the system if I allow that
Yes, warn level goes down for good things you do. Sumbitting anything to the DLDB wont do sorry. Its helping, but it screws up the system if I allow that
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Aster on 2004-03-19 at 07:47:28
Yes Kiko it aint ur fault, Ive done this before (already had 10% )
Shrimpy hasnt really been on that long, so this is a warning to him not to act like me xD
)Shrimpy hasnt really been on that long, so this is a warning to him not to act like me xD
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-03-19 at 10:38:59
thanks all... I think it is very interesting to talk here.... especially with all the..... craziness
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Rayne on 2004-03-19 at 10:48:38
Yea you will soon understand that everyone here is at least halfway insane... then some of us are completely insane.... 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Aster on 2004-03-19 at 11:43:27
Me for example
Report, edit, etc...Posted by en_taro_shrimpy on 2004-03-19 at 11:44:11
I is one of those that is completely