Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2005-05-30 at 01:14:01
Date: May 29, 2005
Time: Somewhere around 11:00 P.M.
Setting: Wesmic (Protoss), LegacyWeapon (Protoss), Spaceboy2k (Zerg), and ThePinkZealot (Terran) decide they want to Backstab some newbs. So I hosted a game called "7v1comps NO BS!"
The four of us were in the room waiting for some newbs to come. Two newbs came, and while everyone was DL'ing Fastest Possible Map Ever I decided to have fun with them before the game. I simply asked one of the newbs if he would like to massage my beefy tallywhacker. He called me a sicko and left the game horrified. So, it would be the four of us backstabbing some mexican gentlemen (i assume that because of his account name). He had a record of 1100-900-100 or something along those lines. He could have been a winbotter, or he could have been a Pro Money Mapper (the best type of Pro Melee'er there is). I knew we would need all the firepower we could get.
The Game: I started the game, and there was extreme lag when the game first started. LegacyWeapon left the game because of the lag, however the lag continued. We found out it was ThePinkZealot. The mexican gentleman we planned to BS was CONSTANTLY setting the latency to low. Mabye someday he'll realize that you only have to set it once. After the mexican gentlemen set the latency low for the upwards of 5 minutes, ThePinkZealot finally left the game. The lag was gone and we could get on with our Backstab. The only problem was, it was just me and Spaceboy and this guy had an awesome record (and we all know that records mean everything, especially in sc). I pulled my left hand out of my pants. I was ready to give it my all. Me and Spaceboy decided that we would kill the comp after we had quite a large army and then Backstab the mexican newbie after he got suspicious. Things never work that easy. There's always an evil twist. Spaceboy was quickly rushed by 10-12 zealots by the computer before he even had any units. He quickly built hydralisks, but he has absolutely no micro, and his hydralisks turned quickly into a pile of bloody guts. At the time i had a small amount of Scouts and decided i would help him. My scouts were about half way to the rescue when he claimed that dinner was on the table and he had to eat. He then left the game. It looked like it was me verse the Pro-Mexican-Money-Mapper. I planned to mass scouts because they are Neat. By the time we decided to attack the computer, I was nearly maxed on 3-3-2 Scouts and the mexican newb had a Shitload of zealots. We quickly made mencemeat of the computer. I had turned off Allied Victory ahead of time, but never unallied him, so he thought I was still allied. He finally spoke, he blurted out the line "I hope that you are ally" Well, I wasn't ally. I then unallied him and took away shared vision. He asked "why are you dark now". He quickly figured out I had unallied him. He then unallied me. At the entrance of his base there was approximately 20 Photon Cannons. I could have just flown my scouts over the water into his base and quickly destroy him, But I figured that I should take care of the hard parts first. Unfortunately for him his 20 photon cannons were only being supported by one pylon. I attacked his pylon with my 6 hotkeys of scouts. I didn't even lose one scout. I had to re-look my chances on this. He had about 50 zealots and i had about 50 scouts. I was unsure if I could win that battle, knowing how good zealots are against scouts. But I wasn't going to back down. I pulled the wedgie out of my asscrack. I was ready to give my best. Fortunately for me, his zealots did not fare well against my scouts. He quickly sent all of his zealots in to my base! He successfully killed three photon cannons and quickly sent all of his zealots to attack my nexus! Luckily for me I still had 6000 minerals and 4000 gas, so if he was to destroy my nexus, I should be alright. I killed his zealots before he killed my nexus. Now the battle was on. I commanded all of my scouts to attack his base. He had started building dragoons. He only managed to kill a few scouts. As I was finishing off his last buildings my Spidey Senses kicked in and I knew he was up to something. I destroyed his last building... or so I thought. I was terrified as to what was going to come next. At the base to the right, where ThePinkZealot was, was a base of Terran! He must have Mind Controlled one of the SCV's that was left there when ThePinkZealot had left the game! After cleaning up the mess that I made in my pants after seeing that, I sent my scouts to attack that area. Luckily for me, he had not built any goliaths, only marines. I quickly made work of that, yet the game still wasn't over. I became scared that he might now have zerg, and soiled myself once again. Luckily he had another terran base, with only a command center, 2 factories, and a 3/4'ths completed Armory. After my scouts made their way over there, he said "you are cheat". I did not understand his crappy horrible English, but right after that statement he left the game.
Here's the replay, view it yourself and be sure you have Penguin Plug so you can try to find out what the hell he was trying to say, because I sure as hell don't know.
[attachmentid=9654]
Time: Somewhere around 11:00 P.M.
Setting: Wesmic (Protoss), LegacyWeapon (Protoss), Spaceboy2k (Zerg), and ThePinkZealot (Terran) decide they want to Backstab some newbs. So I hosted a game called "7v1comps NO BS!"
The four of us were in the room waiting for some newbs to come. Two newbs came, and while everyone was DL'ing Fastest Possible Map Ever I decided to have fun with them before the game. I simply asked one of the newbs if he would like to massage my beefy tallywhacker. He called me a sicko and left the game horrified. So, it would be the four of us backstabbing some mexican gentlemen (i assume that because of his account name). He had a record of 1100-900-100 or something along those lines. He could have been a winbotter, or he could have been a Pro Money Mapper (the best type of Pro Melee'er there is). I knew we would need all the firepower we could get.
The Game: I started the game, and there was extreme lag when the game first started. LegacyWeapon left the game because of the lag, however the lag continued. We found out it was ThePinkZealot. The mexican gentleman we planned to BS was CONSTANTLY setting the latency to low. Mabye someday he'll realize that you only have to set it once. After the mexican gentlemen set the latency low for the upwards of 5 minutes, ThePinkZealot finally left the game. The lag was gone and we could get on with our Backstab. The only problem was, it was just me and Spaceboy and this guy had an awesome record (and we all know that records mean everything, especially in sc). I pulled my left hand out of my pants. I was ready to give it my all. Me and Spaceboy decided that we would kill the comp after we had quite a large army and then Backstab the mexican newbie after he got suspicious. Things never work that easy. There's always an evil twist. Spaceboy was quickly rushed by 10-12 zealots by the computer before he even had any units. He quickly built hydralisks, but he has absolutely no micro, and his hydralisks turned quickly into a pile of bloody guts. At the time i had a small amount of Scouts and decided i would help him. My scouts were about half way to the rescue when he claimed that dinner was on the table and he had to eat. He then left the game. It looked like it was me verse the Pro-Mexican-Money-Mapper. I planned to mass scouts because they are Neat. By the time we decided to attack the computer, I was nearly maxed on 3-3-2 Scouts and the mexican newb had a Shitload of zealots. We quickly made mencemeat of the computer. I had turned off Allied Victory ahead of time, but never unallied him, so he thought I was still allied. He finally spoke, he blurted out the line "I hope that you are ally" Well, I wasn't ally. I then unallied him and took away shared vision. He asked "why are you dark now". He quickly figured out I had unallied him. He then unallied me. At the entrance of his base there was approximately 20 Photon Cannons. I could have just flown my scouts over the water into his base and quickly destroy him, But I figured that I should take care of the hard parts first. Unfortunately for him his 20 photon cannons were only being supported by one pylon. I attacked his pylon with my 6 hotkeys of scouts. I didn't even lose one scout. I had to re-look my chances on this. He had about 50 zealots and i had about 50 scouts. I was unsure if I could win that battle, knowing how good zealots are against scouts. But I wasn't going to back down. I pulled the wedgie out of my asscrack. I was ready to give my best. Fortunately for me, his zealots did not fare well against my scouts. He quickly sent all of his zealots in to my base! He successfully killed three photon cannons and quickly sent all of his zealots to attack my nexus! Luckily for me I still had 6000 minerals and 4000 gas, so if he was to destroy my nexus, I should be alright. I killed his zealots before he killed my nexus. Now the battle was on. I commanded all of my scouts to attack his base. He had started building dragoons. He only managed to kill a few scouts. As I was finishing off his last buildings my Spidey Senses kicked in and I knew he was up to something. I destroyed his last building... or so I thought. I was terrified as to what was going to come next. At the base to the right, where ThePinkZealot was, was a base of Terran! He must have Mind Controlled one of the SCV's that was left there when ThePinkZealot had left the game! After cleaning up the mess that I made in my pants after seeing that, I sent my scouts to attack that area. Luckily for me, he had not built any goliaths, only marines. I quickly made work of that, yet the game still wasn't over. I became scared that he might now have zerg, and soiled myself once again. Luckily he had another terran base, with only a command center, 2 factories, and a 3/4'ths completed Armory. After my scouts made their way over there, he said "you are cheat". I did not understand his crappy horrible English, but right after that statement he left the game.
Here's the replay, view it yourself and be sure you have Penguin Plug so you can try to find out what the hell he was trying to say, because I sure as hell don't know.
[attachmentid=9654]
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2005-05-30 at 01:18:52
I told you the lag wasn't me. I actually was Protoss and was going to cannon rush and backstab him asap.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CheeZe on 2005-05-30 at 01:21:08
4v1 Bs?
YOu guys suck. Always play out numbered and confuse them Then it's fun. ;D
YOu guys suck. Always play out numbered and confuse them Then it's fun. ;D
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2005-05-30 at 01:21:20
Whoops, u were the protoss, ThePinkZealot was the Terran, I edited the post.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by warhammer40000 on 2005-05-30 at 01:21:27
You tell a good story, that sounded awesome!
"why are you dark now".
Yea right...
Obviously, telling by his tactics, he was a winbotter.
"why are you dark now".
Yea right...
Obviously, telling by his tactics, he was a winbotter.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mr.Camo on 2005-05-30 at 01:22:29
QUOTE(wesmic da pimp @ May 29 2005, 09:14 PM)
I pulled my left hand out of my pants.
[attachmentid=9654]
[right][snapback]220802[/snapback][/right]
[attachmentid=9654]
[right][snapback]220802[/snapback][/right]
Kids that's an example of what not to do when playing SC. That part was hilarious though.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2005-05-30 at 01:23:45
See, it's always ThePinkZealot's fault. Next time I know who to blame 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2005-05-30 at 01:24:55
QUOTE(CheeZe @ May 30 2005, 12:21 AM)
4v1 Bs?
YOu guys suck. Always play out numbered and confuse them Then it's fun. ;D
[right][snapback]220812[/snapback][/right]
YOu guys suck. Always play out numbered and confuse them Then it's fun. ;D
[right][snapback]220812[/snapback][/right]
Actually it was going to be a 4v2, but i scared one of them away, plus we had been looking for a BS game forever...
QUOTE
"why are you dark now".
I'm not lying. Get PenguinPlug and watch it.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mr.Camo on 2005-05-30 at 01:25:18
QUOTE(LegacyWeapon @ May 29 2005, 09:23 PM)
See, it's always ThePinkZealot's fault. Next time I know who to blame
[right][snapback]220819[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]220819[/snapback][/right]
The Next Day At School..
Student: Who farted?
LegacyWeapon: THE PINKZEALOT!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by warhammer40000 on 2005-05-30 at 01:26:32
LOL!
Dude, i have a mac, which i dont think supports "penguin plug."
Dude, i have a mac, which i dont think supports "penguin plug."
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2005-05-30 at 01:32:42
Too bad for Mac users 
QUOTE
Any chance of you making this program usable on a mac ?
No, sorry... It would involve a lot of work, because the mac version is a completely different program compared to the pc version and PenguinPlug rely a lot on the way the binary file works. Even if it would be possible to reprogram everything, I dont have the hardware and the mac programming environement to do that.
No, sorry... It would involve a lot of work, because the mac version is a completely different program compared to the pc version and PenguinPlug rely a lot on the way the binary file works. Even if it would be possible to reprogram everything, I dont have the hardware and the mac programming environement to do that.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Daigotsu on 2005-05-30 at 01:37:38
QUOTE
I was unsure if I could win that battle, knowing how good zealots are against scouts.
ehh I'm confused aren't scouts air units? So how could zealots beat scouts...
Actually maybe I should go watch the replay....
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2005-05-30 at 01:38:07
Lol, i just realized that's really long, oh well, you have to read it!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by warhammer40000 on 2005-05-30 at 01:38:39
THAT WAS SARCASM!
Your supposed to be laughing.
ugh...
fools...
yes, im talking in enters.
so?
Your supposed to be laughing.
ugh...
fools...
yes, im talking in enters.
so?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2005-05-30 at 01:45:00
QUOTE(Fu Leng @ May 30 2005, 12:37 AM)
ehh I'm confused aren't scouts air units? So how could zealots beat scouts...
[right][snapback]220838[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]220838[/snapback][/right]
LOL!!!!
It was supposed to be humorous sarcasm... but i can see nothing gets past some of you.Report, edit, etc...Posted by warhammer40000 on 2005-05-30 at 01:46:16
I Found it
Quite funny.
I dont get whats wrong
with some people
here on SEN
Okay, ill stop now.
Quite funny.
I dont get whats wrong
with some people
here on SEN
Okay, ill stop now.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2005-05-30 at 03:18:36
It was pretty humorous. And zealots raze bases faster than scouts.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Warlord on 2005-05-30 at 04:15:57
That was hilarious... I feel like BSing some1 now... But none of my friends are on... O well... Whats a winbotter anyway?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Snipe)r( on 2005-05-30 at 12:36:51
lol i like the mexican guy... hes funny
QUOTE
you are cheat
lol i backstabbed a few timesReport, edit, etc...Posted by SpaceBoy2000 on 2005-05-30 at 12:54:41
QUOTE(wesmic da pimp @ May 30 2005, 12:14 AM)
Spaceboy was quickly rushed by 10-12 zealots by the computer before he even had any units. He quickly built hydralisks, but he has absolutely no micro, and his hydralisks turned quickly into a pile of bloody guts.
[right][snapback]220802[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]220802[/snapback][/right]
Heh, I wasn't even there at that time. I saw Zealots walking to my base, but my sis kinda puked all over the place downstairs. I quickly made a few hydras hoping that would be enough. And...well, I guess it wasn't. I had to leave later because I had to clean up my sis's mess.
Lesson learned? Puke smells like shit.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2005-05-30 at 13:16:30
that has GOT to be one of the funniest stories i ever heard expecialy the "knowing how good zealots are against scouts i got scared"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by MapUnprotector on 2005-05-30 at 13:18:55
You should submit the article to http://www.icantlose.com 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by ViolentMoose on 2005-05-30 at 13:31:52
nice replay i liked it
Report, edit, etc...Posted by BeeR_KeG on 2005-05-30 at 15:43:54
That is one heck of a funny BS Report.
Can I post it on my site along with the replay?
Can I post it on my site along with the replay?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by wesmic da pimp on 2005-05-30 at 15:53:18
Yea, Sure. also make sure that the italics, bolds, and underlines get added too, they emphasize the point. You can expect to see more Backstabbing Reports from me in the upcoming future, but only with the good backstabs. No shitty gangbang ez win basic they have no chance shit.