Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sonoco on 2005-07-15 at 14:33:08
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
3 . Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob and I am an alcoholic'?
6. If you mated a bulldog and a
su, would it be called a bull ?
7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
13. What do people in China call their good plates?
14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
16. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
17. What do you call male ballerinas?
18. Can blind people see in their dreams? Do they dream??
19. If Wile E.Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme , why couldn't he just buy dinner?
20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ?
27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
These questions are found at http://www.avolites.org.uk/jokes/unanswered.htm
Can you answer them?
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
3 . Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob and I am an alcoholic'?
6. If you mated a bulldog and a
su, would it be called a bull ? 7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
13. What do people in China call their good plates?
14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
16. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
17. What do you call male ballerinas?
18. Can blind people see in their dreams? Do they dream??
19. If Wile E.Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme
, why couldn't he just buy dinner? 20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your
? 27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
These questions are found at http://www.avolites.org.uk/jokes/unanswered.htm
Can you answer them?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2005-07-15 at 14:38:01
#27:
You have bad breath.
You have bad breath.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pimpinelephant on 2005-07-15 at 14:42:28
well for #9
the water, if its in a plastic bottle, begins to taste like plastic.
the water, if its in a plastic bottle, begins to taste like plastic.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Shmeeps on 2005-07-15 at 16:10:32
#14 and #19: Plot device.
#24: Because if it is wet I want to watch it dry.
#24: Because if it is wet I want to watch it dry.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by AqoTrooper on 2005-07-15 at 16:28:34
11# I think I've read somewhere that they call it American kiss in there.
18# Dreaming = thinking during the time you sleep. The way we think depends on all five senses we have, but since blind people only have 4 senses you can assume that they'll hear, smell, taste and feel things in their dreams, but won't see anything. Unless they've became blind because of a wound (ouch!), than the problem is in the eyes but the brain still can 'operate' real sight and they probably can dream about seeing stuff.
22# every rectangle is a square but not every square is a rectangle; what was said isn't true at all. It also reminded me of that story with some boy-scouts selling cookies that come to other kids who sell orange juice and ask them if it's made of real oranges. They ask them back if their cookies are made of real scouts.
I'm bored
18# Dreaming = thinking during the time you sleep. The way we think depends on all five senses we have, but since blind people only have 4 senses you can assume that they'll hear, smell, taste and feel things in their dreams, but won't see anything. Unless they've became blind because of a wound (ouch!), than the problem is in the eyes but the brain still can 'operate' real sight and they probably can dream about seeing stuff.
22# every rectangle is a square but not every square is a rectangle; what was said isn't true at all. It also reminded me of that story with some boy-scouts selling cookies that come to other kids who sell orange juice and ask them if it's made of real oranges. They ask them back if their cookies are made of real scouts.
I'm bored
Report, edit, etc...Posted by FireStorm on 2005-07-15 at 17:13:46
#4: Sit down while brushing 
#25:Nope
#2: Yep
#5:First stage is admitting your an alcoholic.
#22: BABYS!
#25:Nope
#2: Yep
#5:First stage is admitting your an alcoholic.
#22: BABYS!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by (U)Bolt_Head on 2005-07-15 at 17:40:05
1. Out of Respect
2. Yeah but it gets smaller towards the core else it would overlap other peoples.
3. There eyes and mouths are operated with the same musles
4. Yeah, sit down.
5. Because bob isn’t your real name.
6.
7. Stairs lead to another floor, steps do not. There can be steps inside as long as they don’t go up to another floor.
8. Cause the light would freeze over.
9. Cause after it trickles down long enough it reaches the ocean and is no longer part of the mountain.
10. Toaster don’t only toast toast.
11. No all kind of kissing in France is French kissing.
12. The Calf
13. America
14. Cause he doesn’t specialize in boat repair.
15. Because pointing to your wrist is the sign language word for “time”
16. Goofy is goofy, he can’t act normal.
17. Ballerinos
18. Dreams are a stimulation of the mind, No one sees in there dreams.
19. Because you can’t buy fresh roadrunner.
20. Cause people figure, if he has been doing this for so long and is still broke he won’t steal my money.
21. testicals … ha ha
22. babies
23. Yes, men are always wrong!
24. Cause you can’t count the billion stars but you can test the wet paint.
25. Yeah
26. No comment
27. No
You got that backwards every sqaure is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a sqaure.
2. Yeah but it gets smaller towards the core else it would overlap other peoples.
3. There eyes and mouths are operated with the same musles
4. Yeah, sit down.
5. Because bob isn’t your real name.
6.
7. Stairs lead to another floor, steps do not. There can be steps inside as long as they don’t go up to another floor.
8. Cause the light would freeze over.
9. Cause after it trickles down long enough it reaches the ocean and is no longer part of the mountain.
10. Toaster don’t only toast toast.
11. No all kind of kissing in France is French kissing.
12. The Calf
13. America
14. Cause he doesn’t specialize in boat repair.
15. Because pointing to your wrist is the sign language word for “time”
16. Goofy is goofy, he can’t act normal.
17. Ballerinos
18. Dreams are a stimulation of the mind, No one sees in there dreams.
19. Because you can’t buy fresh roadrunner.
20. Cause people figure, if he has been doing this for so long and is still broke he won’t steal my money.
21. testicals … ha ha
22. babies
23. Yes, men are always wrong!
24. Cause you can’t count the billion stars but you can test the wet paint.
25. Yeah
26. No comment
27. No
QUOTE(AqoTrooper @ Jul 15 2005, 03:28 PM)
22# every rectangle is a square but not every square is a rectangle; what was said isn't true at all. It also reminded me of that story with some boy-scouts selling cookies that come to other kids who sell orange juice and ask them if it's made of real oranges. They ask them back if their cookies are made of real scouts.
I'm bored
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I'm bored
[right][snapback]263149[/snapback][/right]
You got that backwards every sqaure is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a sqaure.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by warhammer40000 on 2005-07-17 at 01:13:20
You stole these from someone and never gave credit... Ive read this somewhere about 1 or 2 years ago. ...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2005-07-17 at 01:18:12
#23: What... Man, who never talked alone in a forest?Tsss