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Staredit Network -> Literature & Writing -> Writing Exercise 1
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-12 at 23:29:49
Woohoo! I've decided to keep myself motivated to stop by here more often than I am I will set up writing exercise topics, which I will promptly close at the end of the week. These will either be prompts, themes, or devices that you take and make your own. Some will apply to prose, some will apply to poetry, some to both. To start, I'll share my favorite...

Write a story backwards. Start with the last thing that happens and build it up to the beginning without flashbacks. This does not mean that you can write a story out and then reverse the order of sentences; it must still be readable. Here's mine:

The Teacup

Marvelle dried her tears. She sat on her bed, clinging to her china doll crying. Mother sent her to her room as punishment. The pale blue ceramic pieces were swept up and disposed of. She was told after it was too late that the tea cup had been one of grandma's. The teacup shattered to a million pieces upon impact. On the way to the ground, the hot liquid spilled all over Marvelle's new pink dress, the shock almost knocking her to her knees. The tea cup fell out of her hands. In her excitement, she tripped over a loose stone. She headed to the tea tavle that her mother and father were at. As she looked out the door, the bright noon time sunlight blinded her. She came out of the kitchen, holding a pale blue ceramic teacup in the door way. Marvelle searched the cabinets for a teacup. She climbed on the counter and sat her doll next to her.Marvelle ran back into the kitchen excited. Mother nodded her head and replied, "yes." Marvelle asked if she could join them. Marvelle, doll in hand, skipped out into the sunny noon. She looked out a window and saw Mother and Father drinking tea. Marvelle went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.


smile.gif Enjoy.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by notnuclearrabbit on 2005-09-13 at 00:36:44
[center]Dear god, there is no way I could do this. The way I work, I never have the end in mind.[/center]
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pimpinelephant on 2005-09-13 at 01:10:25
What the mother *beep*! Sorry, but I could never do this. I usually think of the beginning and then build on after it.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-09-13 at 10:47:31
Kame fear not! Fela, the author in residence in here! /Egotistical Rant

With a swish of his cloak, the figure returned to the darkness from whence he came and disappeared into the night forever more. "He shall become a king even among the gods." He grasped empty air where his child had lain moments ago, tears of sorrow softly breaking upon the cold stone floor. He had known that it would happen since the messenger came at Garen's birth. Shem had known this day would come. The figure showed no contempt or pity - it showed nothing at all. Garen was now in the arms of a stranger, and Shem felt weakness overwhelm him as his legs buckled and he dropped to the ground. The figure picked up his son Garen from the cradle in which he lay. Placing a firm hand on his shoulder, the figure uttered an incantation. "So you don't try to intervene." Shem sobbed and pleaded with his hands that the figure leave and never come back. The cloaked man stepped inside and nodded. He knew at once what events would soon come to pass. With a gasp Shem saw a figure adorned in a black cloak standing patiently in the rain. A knock sounded at the door.

I would've tidied this up, but second period just ended!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-16 at 09:46:50
That flows nicely, Felagund. I really like how your last line is so simple, it adds a nice touch to the piece smile.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Chef on 2005-09-16 at 14:19:47
When you're talking about the past, Kame, it helps to use the past tense. Otherwise it sounds stupid (at least to me). If you read your stories sentence by sentence backwards they still make sense... This is because virtually every sentence you've wrote is declarative.

I'm not saying it's easy, I'm saying it's bland in my opinion. Just a little constructive critisism.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-16 at 15:33:50
This is true, but past tense in technicality is more often than not a grammatical error. That's what I was taught, anyways. Could you point where it would sound better?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Chef on 2005-09-16 at 16:11:34
QUOTE
Marvelle dried her tears. She sat on her bed, clinging to her china doll crying.

Could be "Marvelle had dried* (or rather, "was about to dry") her tears. She sat** on her bed, clung to her china doll and cried" or "Marvelle will (be?) dry(ing?) her tears in 20 minutes. Just prior, she'll sit on her bed, and cling to her china doll [in awe of what she'd just done***] (obviously she's crying, you've already revealed that)".

When you word it like you are, it tells the reader that something is happening right now, obviously, you can't do the whole story in present tense, or it doesn't make sense (to be fair, even if you do it all in past tense it sounds dumb, but I can see in certain context it could work for future tense). You have to choose the future or the past as your tense... but I guess, since this is an exersise, it's not supposed to be entertaining, but develop writing skills.

When you do one declarative sentence after another it sounds really bland no matter how you word it. Also, try to use more powerful words, obviously if she's clung to a doll she's unhappy, so there's no mystery if they're 'tears of happiness', so you could use words like weep instead, maybe even mourn, as if to forshadow something bad had happened.

I'm not an expert, but I know that if you state one thing at a time, it get repetetive and annoying. For example "The car in the driveway was blue. The car pulled out of the driveway and sped down the street. It left a trail of smoke." That's just ****ing stupid. If you want to do something like that, you have to have the reaction of a character (1st or 3rd person omnipotent, it doesn't matter), and that characters reaction should be unique, or foretelling of an event soon to come.

*verb
**past tense, don't mix past tense with present
***foretelling, can make reader wonder what happened, thus, continue reading... I stopped about here when reading yours and decided to try reading a few sentences backwards to see if they made sense, and they did.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-09-16 at 16:27:58
Ummm, "dried" is past tense. So is "sat" but "clinging to her china doll crying" is a misplaced modifier if I'm not mistaken. Perhaps it should read "clinging to her china doll while crying." You see, this is one of those many gray areas that are supposed to be exploited by authors to make a more flowing line.

I just read my story backwards, so that the plot was progressing correctly, and it didn't flow as nicely as it did while reading it forwards, or so that the plot was progressing in reverse. Subconcious adjusting it appears. This forum is so cool. Hee hee.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Chef on 2005-09-16 at 21:46:42
QUOTE
Ummm, "dried" is past tense. So is "sat"

Thanks for the update cap't obvious. You're a real benifit to have.

The rest of your post is opinion.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-09-17 at 09:29:49
I'm saying that her writing is fine. Why don't we see some of your's before you criticize us?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Chef on 2005-09-18 at 12:39:23
Why post things if you don't want criticism? Why do you think my criticism was focused on kame, and not you? I'm not saying these have to be great, because considering the circumstances (writing on the spot, about something you didn't choose, is almost begging for a half-assed project), they're pretty much expected to turn out badly. However, I still posted criticism because people (in general, or at least, should) want to become better. Hypothetically, lets say I'm the only person who doesn't think it's as good as it could be, why is that useless knowledge?

PS: If you really want to see some of my writing, I can make a new topic and post some blamty first-person I did in History last year. Just PM me about it.

PPS: Although technically, you've already seen my writing in my posts =)
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-09-18 at 13:44:53
I don't agree with your criticism and I wrote for fun, not to be criticized. I think Kame agrees with at least the latter.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Chef on 2005-09-18 at 15:19:25
QUOTE
I don't agree with your criticism and I wrote for fun, not to be criticized.

What I said that criticized you:
QUOTE
If you read your stories sentence by sentence backwards they still make sense... This is because virtually every sentence you've wrote is declarative.

Based upon:
QUOTE
This does not mean that you can write a story out and then reverse the order of sentences

Which, while I fully believe you didn't, can still be done.

The rest of the criticism is focused on Kame. This is because I figured you can't handle criticism. Get it now? Kame can speak for herself, she wouldn't have asked for a more detailed explanation if she were bothered by it.

PS: It's safe to assume your request for my writing was a throw away comment, as you have said nothing further.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-09-18 at 23:53:20
No, I'd like to see your writing (you know, a story or something). Besides, you don't seem to be another durk-a-dur or any of those jokers, and we could always use more people with decent English skills. So, if you wish, please go ahead!
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