Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-13 at 00:01:57
I don't know if many of you know this, but I have a dying hatred of poetry, especially poetry done in the 13-19 age bracket, because most of it is seemingly angst ridden. I don't like angst in over-powering ammounts. However, I sucked it up, and I'm starting to really enjoy poetry. Long story short, this is an experimental piece that started out as clipped prose and devolved into a poem of sorts. Enjoy 
-----------------
-----------------
Once upon a...
...time.
Yes, it was time.
I remember it well with the help of Mnemosyne
or perhaps some methamphetamine,
It only took...
...once
One time was all Ares required the well placed shot
into and out of her heart in perhaps a second,
The sound of the...
...waves
In all his majesty, Lord Poseidon sent his fury
and the world began to sink and fall,
Strikes into her...
...heart
A wound Aphrodite could never completely heal
it is unlikely that she would hear,
The lightening...
...flashes
The silver liquid of Zeua flows out of her wounds
onto the unobtrusive world,
There is an...
...end.
-----------------
-----------------
Once upon a...
...time.
Yes, it was time.
I remember it well with the help of Mnemosyne
or perhaps some methamphetamine,
It only took...
...once
One time was all Ares required the well placed shot
into and out of her heart in perhaps a second,
The sound of the...
...waves
In all his majesty, Lord Poseidon sent his fury
and the world began to sink and fall,
Strikes into her...
...heart
A wound Aphrodite could never completely heal
it is unlikely that she would hear,
The lightening...
...flashes
The silver liquid of Zeua flows out of her wounds
onto the unobtrusive world,
There is an...
...end.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-09-13 at 17:34:47
QUOTE
Once upon a...
...time.
Yes, it was time.
I remember it well with the help of Mnemosyne
or perhaps some methamphetamine,
...time.
Yes, it was time.
I remember it well with the help of Mnemosyne
or perhaps some methamphetamine,
"Yes, it was time." That sounds a bit... I almost want to say cliché. I can just imagine the anime now, with a shadow surrounded by fog or smoke, as if that effect still might appear mystical to us after all this... time.
Other than that, I like. Well, besides the ending, which is too abrupt for my liking. But hey, I've never tried my hand at poetry, so I'd say you're doing pretty well right now.