Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-22 at 23:48:23
The List Story:
Convey an entire plot through a list. This is borderline poetry, and there are ways to make elements of both prose and poetry present in this. Here is a list story I wrote. Its a bit personal, its about a friend of mine, so I really would appriciate it if this was not critiqued on content level:
The Decision
Rusted razor
Cut wrists
Blood stained carpet
Lifeless eyes
Cold flesh
Limp arms
Stale air
Closed blinds
Dim lights
One dead friend
One last note
Opened door
Yellow tape
Restricted entry
Grieving family
Silent classmates
Huddled friends
Questioning officers
Unsure emotions
Guilty conscious
Forgotten happiness
Hidden memories
Haunted thoughts
No goodbye.
------------
Which is a little depressing, and the list doesn't have to be.
Convey an entire plot through a list. This is borderline poetry, and there are ways to make elements of both prose and poetry present in this. Here is a list story I wrote. Its a bit personal, its about a friend of mine, so I really would appriciate it if this was not critiqued on content level:
The Decision
Rusted razor
Cut wrists
Blood stained carpet
Lifeless eyes
Cold flesh
Limp arms
Stale air
Closed blinds
Dim lights
One dead friend
One last note
Opened door
Yellow tape
Restricted entry
Grieving family
Silent classmates
Huddled friends
Questioning officers
Unsure emotions
Guilty conscious
Forgotten happiness
Hidden memories
Haunted thoughts
No goodbye.
------------
Which is a little depressing, and the list doesn't have to be.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2005-09-22 at 23:55:21
And
here,
over
the
portals
of
my
fort,
I
shall
cut
in
the
stone
the
word
which
is
to
be
my
beacon
and
my
banner.
The
word
which
will
not
die,
should
we
all
perish
in
battle.
The
word
which
can
never
die
on
this
earth,
for
it
is
the
heart
of
it
and
the
meaning
and
the
glory.
The
sacred
word:
EGO
-Anthem
Or did I miss the point?
here,
over
the
portals
of
my
fort,
I
shall
cut
in
the
stone
the
word
which
is
to
be
my
beacon
and
my
banner.
The
word
which
will
not
die,
should
we
all
perish
in
battle.
The
word
which
can
never
die
on
this
earth,
for
it
is
the
heart
of
it
and
the
meaning
and
the
glory.
The
sacred
word:
EGO
-Anthem
QUOTE
And here, over the portals of my fort, I shall cut in the stone the word which is to be my beacon and my banner. The word which will not die, should we all perish in battle. The word which can never die on this earth, for it is the heart of it and the meaning and the glory.
The sacred word:
EGO
The sacred word:
EGO
Or did I miss the point?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-23 at 00:14:48
you missed the point. Maybe I should rephrase...a list of items. From those items, tell a story. For example, the first line in mine is a rusted razor, that has imagry to it. I'm afraid the word 'and' does not have the same immidiate imagry that rusted razor has. Its sort of like a shopping list, one of these, some of this or that. Not just one word at a time. -_-
Report, edit, etc...Posted by notnuclearrabbit on 2005-09-23 at 04:57:06
[center]Mind if I ask what/who your 'list' is about? I recently encountered the same situation in my life...
Bad ideas,
Split second decision,
Fire,
Sirens,
Racing heart,
Waiting,
Waiting,
Realization,
Relief.[/center]
Bad ideas,
Split second decision,
Fire,
Sirens,
Racing heart,
Waiting,
Waiting,
Realization,
Relief.[/center]
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-23 at 08:42:34
A friend commited suicide while we- my friends and I- were on a retreat in the mountains. 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-09-23 at 10:37:35
I hope you'll forgive me if I refrain from doing this exercise. I hate poetry.
I also know that any condolences I could possibly offer would never be enough, but for what it is worth, I am sorry for your friend that decided to end her life, and I am sorry for you and your friends that must go through this ordeal. Did this happen recently?
I also know that any condolences I could possibly offer would never be enough, but for what it is worth, I am sorry for your friend that decided to end her life, and I am sorry for you and your friends that must go through this ordeal. Did this happen recently?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-09-23 at 20:14:54
Nah, it happened about a year ago when I originally wrote it.