Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2005-09-25 at 16:17:09
I have written many poems in my day, but i'm only going to post two that I wrote last night:
I sit and think of you, Rebecca the true
My feelings for you, are ever so true
I want to be with you forever and ever, do I just pull a lever?
I love you, and you love me, so forever we shall be
And the second one
There is no limit between the stars, so why should there be between ours?
Even though i'm four years, will you please be my dear?
Even when we bicker and fight, we will never last only a night.
I haven't known it for long, but oh, oh it belongs!
My love is true, and so are you
So why don't we make it be? You are the one for me!
And if you have a grudge against me, don't post in here.
I sit and think of you, Rebecca the true
My feelings for you, are ever so true
I want to be with you forever and ever, do I just pull a lever?
I love you, and you love me, so forever we shall be
And the second one
There is no limit between the stars, so why should there be between ours?
Even though i'm four years, will you please be my dear?
Even when we bicker and fight, we will never last only a night.
I haven't known it for long, but oh, oh it belongs!
My love is true, and so are you
So why don't we make it be? You are the one for me!
And if you have a grudge against me, don't post in here.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Merrell on 2005-09-25 at 16:49:06
I think the first one is kind of lame.
Oh and ours doesn't rhyme stars unless you pronounce our like "are."
Oh well, nice try, I just think they need a little more.
Oh and ours doesn't rhyme stars unless you pronounce our like "are."
Oh well, nice try, I just think they need a little more.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by guardien on 2005-09-25 at 22:48:38
Yes, I agree with Merrell, the first was kinda lame, but the second has a little more "ummpphh" in it. Maybe its its lenght.... 
But it seems kinda rushed. I'm sure if there was a little more into it, it would be alot better.
But it seems kinda rushed. I'm sure if there was a little more into it, it would be alot better.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by UBCS on 2005-09-26 at 11:03:02
i use to write alot of poems, i don't know what happend...lol
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Atreyu) on 2005-09-26 at 12:07:55
i wrote a poem once...yeah
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Valug on 2005-09-27 at 22:20:36
[sub]*Cough*
Rising action,
Dropping me to the surface with haste.
My wings have failed me again...
Where is my angel?
Why has the sky forsaken me?
Please, Lord, keep my eyes
conscious - I wish to see the death this time.
Please, Demon, keep me numb
with the atmosphere's drawn-out kiss;
I never want to feel this way about her again.
The whispers of the wind have
made me deaf to her words,
But I can still read your lips
on the way down, love...
You could have at least said, "I love you"...
A friend of mine made this poem. [/sub]
Rising action,
Dropping me to the surface with haste.
My wings have failed me again...
Where is my angel?
Why has the sky forsaken me?
Please, Lord, keep my eyes
conscious - I wish to see the death this time.
Please, Demon, keep me numb
with the atmosphere's drawn-out kiss;
I never want to feel this way about her again.
The whispers of the wind have
made me deaf to her words,
But I can still read your lips
on the way down, love...
You could have at least said, "I love you"...
A friend of mine made this poem. [/sub]