Staredit Network

Staredit Network -> Miscellaneous -> Funny Telemarketer Stories

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Tmac on 2005-10-18 at 20:41:15

I just recieved a phone call from a telemarketer saying that I won a FREE trip to Cancun for only the small price of $190*

Post your funny stories about them.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by KaboomHahahein on 2005-10-18 at 20:58:18

That I won a draw that I never participated in. That happend a few times before.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Tmac on 2005-10-18 at 21:07:45

Did anyone watch the seinfeld episode where Jerry tells a telemarketer off?
Anyways heres a poor reinactment.

*Phone Rings*
*Jerry Answers*
J - "Hello"
T - *Asks a question*
J - "Sorry, I don't have time for this. Can I have your home phone so I can call you later?"
T - "Uhh No"
J - "Oh, I guess you don't like to be called at home"
T - "Yeah"
J - "Well now you know how I feel"

I'm going to try that one day.

I think that in some state it is illegal for a telemarketer to call during dinner time.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by notnuclearrabbit on 2005-10-18 at 21:38:26

[center]I'm on the 'No call list' thing. They call me, I freaking pwn them.[/center]

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Syphon on 2005-10-18 at 22:17:10

QUOTE(Tmac020304 @ Oct 18 2005, 07:07 PM)

Did anyone watch the seinfeld episode where Jerry tells a telemarketer off?
Anyways heres a poor reinactment.
*Phone Rings*
*Jerry Answers*
J - "Hello"
T - *Asks a question*
J - "Sorry, I don't have time for this. Can I have your home phone so I can call you later?"
T - "Uhh No"
J - "Oh, I guess you don't like to be called at home"
T - "Yeah"
J - "Well now you know how I feel"

I'm going to try that one day.

I think that in some state it is illegal for a telemarketer to call during dinner time.
[right][snapback]336730[/snapback][/right]

FYI, that's not from seinfeld.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by notnuclearrabbit on 2005-10-18 at 22:20:37

[center]Actually, Syphon, it is.[/center]

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Syphon on 2005-10-18 at 22:26:00

QUOTE(nuclearrabbit @ Oct 18 2005, 08:20 PM)

[center]Actually, Syphon, it is.[/center]
[right][snapback]336815[/snapback][/right]

What season? Because I recall hearing that about 6 years ago.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Raindodger on 2005-10-18 at 22:32:52

One time a telemarketer called me and i tried having an intimate conversation with him. I tried to get him to come to my house so we could have some sex. But he decided not to so i got mad and hung up and called him fat.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by notnuclearrabbit on 2005-10-18 at 22:46:45

[center]Syphon I really don't care about this as much as you seem to. Try Google. I think Sienfeld stopped taping more than 6 years ago...

If a telemarketer ever calls me I'll just say 'Bomb, president, redemption, Allah.' then press a button so it sounds like the conversation was recorded by the FBI. Meh.[/center]

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Syphon on 2005-10-18 at 22:50:27

QUOTE(nuclearrabbit @ Oct 18 2005, 08:46 PM)

I don't care but I'm interested.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2005-10-18 at 23:35:14

I said, "Hang on let me go find them."
*Waits 2 hours or so*
"I couldn't find them."

Usually they hang up in like a minute or two.

Or if you have your voice is that of an adult, you can say, "ma paren' no home..."

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Ultimo on 2005-10-19 at 00:11:23

Telemarketer: 'Hi...I'm from blahaha..."
Me: "My parents aren't home right now."
Telemarketer: "When would be a better time?"
Me: "Maybe on the weekend?"
Telemarketer: "Okay, thank you, bye."
Me: "Bye."

That is how the conversation basically goes with every telemarketer I talk to.

They never do call back.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2005-10-19 at 00:39:46

I think that quote was from episode 43 "The Pitch". Not sure what season( most likely Season 4 ). Maybe you recalled hearing it on Seinfeld 6 years ago. And my conversation is pretty much the same as Ultimo's. But for me, sometimes they call back and I have to tell them anotehr time again.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Ultimo on 2005-10-19 at 00:41:21

Yeah, I've really streamlined what I say in order to get the least time spent on the phone!

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kow on 2005-10-19 at 09:52:27

T: Hi, I'm from.... --
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep!

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Syphon on 2005-10-19 at 16:45:33

QUOTE(pekkel_the_duck @ Oct 18 2005, 10:39 PM)

I never watch seinfeld.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by saibaman8 on 2005-10-19 at 16:48:10

one time i answered and changed the channel on the tv to hgtv and put the phone up to the speaker. most of the time i'll speak in german or french to them and sometimes engrish.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Syphon on 2005-10-19 at 16:57:44

I speak huttese with an australian accent.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by n2o-SiMpSoNs on 2005-10-19 at 17:06:17

QUOTE(nuclearrabbit @ Oct 18 2005, 09:38 PM)

[center]I'm on the 'No call list' thing. They call me, I freaking pwn them.[/center]
[right][snapback]336764[/snapback][/right]

me 2

when i was over a friends house a telemarketer called and my friend said "im sorry but my mother died" and the telemarketer was like "hmm... well, i guess i will have to put her on the 'do not call' list"

haha it was funny

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Shmeeps on 2005-10-19 at 18:45:14

Once I was like

T: Hi, can I speak to-
Me: NOOOOO, I DON'T WANT YOUR CANDY DRUG MAN!
*Hang up.

And sometimes I just shout random crap into the phone.

I've also pretended like someone was in my house and trying to kill me. I freaked the crap outta that telemarketer.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by warhammer40000 on 2005-10-19 at 18:49:38

I only get the machine ones. No point in telling off a machine.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by yeow on 2005-10-19 at 18:52:01

Just random stuff like Geico quotes and..

T - Blahahahahh
Me - Are you married?
T- Yes
Me - Good, now go home and have sex, or I'm telling you wife your cheating
T- No
Me - Stop calling guys, and go out there and go find a girlfriend and get laid.

Ya, I've actually said the bottom one, non of the telemarkerts that call are maried/don't say they are. I've never been called by a female telemarketer so IDK about them..

Report, edit, etc...Posted by Urmom(U) on 2005-10-19 at 18:56:42

I just usually tell them to

off like this:

Tel: Hi, you've been randomly chosen to go on a free trip to Disney World...
Me: SHUT THE

UP, I AM ON THE "DONT CALL ME OR ILL PUNCH YOUR :censored:IN OVARIES LIST" YOU D**CH* BAG
Tel: ...
Me: SO

OFF
Me hangs up.

Thats usually what I say if they call and my parents arent home. Sorry for all the swears but its true.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by warhammer40000 on 2005-10-19 at 19:43:57

I doubt it, but whatever you say.

Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2005-10-19 at 20:27:13

QUOTE

I never watch seinfeld.

Then how do you know it wasn't from it? Oh well, the evidence is there.

Next Page (1)