Staredit Network

The funniest quote I ever saw was on a sign I passed by when walking it said "Trespassers Will Be Shot...Survivors Will Be Shot Again"

lol it's funny if I think about it for a bit.

On an advertisement for a medicine;
"Side-effects may be similar to sugarpills."
ROFL

i have 2

Dont tale gate me or ill flick a booger in ur windsheild

and

Iraqis will be killed, hippies will be mutilated.

here is 1,

dont follow me or i will speed up and throw 3 pennys at you lol


my uncle did that

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

Dear Tourists:
Please do not 'Laugh' at the natives

Bumper Sticker- "Unless you're a hemoroid, GET OFF MY ASS"
"What is not your answer to this question?"
"Is 'no' your answer to this question?"
Bumer Sticker- "I still miss my ex-, but my aim is getting better."

Chinese restaurant:
"Do not spit too loud thanks."

hehe i kinda like that one to

i cant think of anything ive seen exept one thing and it would suck for all you non swedish speakers here(everyone) so i wont post it

" 'allo"
"Did you just say hello?"
"No, I said 'allo, but that's close enough"
-Labryinth XD

"You're not a pilot! I know every pilot in the world."

I have to post a couple of these:

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here."

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again..."

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

heres one :

i was playing gta vice city,
me: where am i?
my friend: behind you.

hehe i think thats one wierd way of describing where someone is

You got that from my Avatar xD.

"I will be gone today and tomorrow"

^ This doesn't seem all that odd, but if you think about it, by the time tomorrow gets here, its today again, so this message can apply indefinitely.

Tread lightly and carry a big stick; or else run really fast.

okay, so it was sorta stupid, but hilarious none the less

"Prosicutors will be violated"

hmmm...

I said that one...

You call that a quote? LOL JK

I forgot the wuote i was ganna use.

"¿Quieres un pin?" (Friends)

"equis es igual a menos be mas menos raiz cuadrada de be cuadrado menos cuatro a ce partido por dos a" (Maths)

An actual conversation between me [HeyThatsNotNice3] and a friend online:

HeyThatsNotNice3: u think 2 much
HeyThatsNotNice3: u need to listen to your betters lol
bmwboy425531: then how do i do this math prob?
HeyThatsNotNice3: i dunno. what do u think?

For more, try my updated-weekly Foolish Quote Board!

I saw this on a friend of mines T-shirt:
I have kidnapped my self in ransom for 1 million dollars. If you do not pay me the ransom you will never see me again

The Simpsons is the funniest cartoon show I can get with basic cable, and here are some of its most funny quotes, said by none other than Homer himself:

"The sun?! That's the hottest place on Earth!"
"Barney, you gotta be sober to fly a helicopter! This isn't like driving a car!"
"I'm no genius... or are I?"

Here's one said by Seymour Skinner: "How ironic. The cat burglar was caught by the very person who was trying to catch him."

dude simpsons is gay watch some south park