Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sinister_X on 2004-05-20 at 16:54:10
ive added another part to it enjoy ill finish next chance i get
Crack! A bullet went through the mans head and he went down. Shannon stood
their gun pointed. Shannon is a cop second day on the job and she didn’t need this
kind of
. She realized her ponytail had become undone. She holstered her gun
and placed her shoulder length blond hair back into a ponytail. "What the is
wrong with this town" she said to no one. This one the second guy she had to put
down today it wasn’t her fault, this whole town is nothing but crazy people. When
she had asked the first guy what was going on he had tried bite her and she was
not going to stand for it. She punched him right across the face. When he came at
her again she did all she could do she shot him twice in the chest and once in the
head and it worked he wasn’t trying to bit her any more. He was too busy being
dead. That was ten minutes ago. Now she stood over the corpse of this new
casualty and kicked him just him just too make sure he was dead. “Crazy Town
like this can't be too careful" Shannon said too the corpse. As if the town wasn't a
pain in the ass enough. Her radio was not responding. Should have been a lawyer
she thought to herself. After all that’s what mom always wanted. But Shannon had
always been a regular tomboy. It seemed being a cop was the only way to full fill
her need for action. She got it alright after all who wouldn’t call killing two people
in a ten minute span action. Hell with her lick maybe a telephone pole would fall on
her. It was partially her fault she was on this oh so happy adventure. When she
had joined the force missing peoples murders were at an all time high. Plus the
recent reports of Cannibalism. Creepy she thought but it came out of her mouth
it "Sounds like fun where do I sign up?" Finally returning to reality she realized she
had left her car quite away back. She had no means of telling her squadron what
she had done. "Oh well they are all perverts anyway." On her first day she had
been invited to thirteen people’s houses. Half of them were married. Shannon
snickered to herself; maybe she should ask them their number and then tell their
wives. That would be pretty funny. "Well I suppose I should get back to patrol,
maybe If I get really lucky ill get to shoot someone else or maybe at least a dog."
She took a look at her surroundings, she was in an ally garbage littered the sides.
And there was probably more trash out than in the dumpsters. Shannon walked
out onto the streets and saw no one. "They are probably off flipping cars like a
bunch of nut cases." Now she had to get back to her car so she started on down
the sidewalk trying to remember where she had parked. Then somebody walked
out onto the street in front of her and began walking away from her. She was a
lady judging from her hair. She was naked! She had not noticed Shannon.
Shannon ran up after her, when she got about ten feet behind her she
shouted "Hay lady talk about indecent exposure what are you crazy!" "I mean
come on the last thing I need are ing nudists" The woman turned around. She
revealed a hideous face. Pieces of her cheek, her eyes were rolled back and blood
was smeared across her chest. She must have been no older than twenty. When
Shannon saw this abomination she wanted to vomit. “Holy , Someone beat you
with an ugly stick!? “Don’t worry I’m with the police.” The woman made no
response unless a gargling sound was it. The woman lingered their for a couple
seconds then opened her mouth let out an unearthly moan and stumbled toward
Shannon but. Shannon leapt back away from her. “Hey calm down, Back off or
you will be eating sidewalk. The woman paid no heeds she kept on toward
Shannon and coughed up what had to be blood on Shannon’s uniform. She then
tried to bite down on Shannon’s shoulder. Shannon ducked kneed the woman in
the gut and flipped her over. The woman landed face first on the sidewalk.
Shannon stepped back pulled out her gun. “God damn it here we go again!” The
woman got up and slowly began to walk towards Shannon. “BACK OFF OR
YOU WILL BE EATING SIDWALK!” The woman did not stop so Shannon pulled the
trigger. The woman lost half her head and collapsed the other half had the same
effect as a pumpkin hitting a sidewalk. Shannon turned away and vomited. Five
more figures came into view down the street. Shannon thought out loud “
THIS!” and shot the lock off a door and entered it slamming the door behind her.
This is bull she said to herself as she stared at the floor in darkness. She
clicked a light switch and would have vomited again if she hadn’t been on empty.
She was in a grocery store but there were blood smears everywhere and bloody
handprints that seemed to lead to a door along the back. Shannon walked through
the isles up to the door. As she did she noticed the door was cracked and the light
inside the room was on. “I swear if anybody takes one step towards me you will
be ting bullets!” Shannon kicked open the door. inside were 5 dead people on
the floor, each looked torn apart missing limbs, gashes and blood was all over
them. Each had a single hole in their head all had holes in there head in the corner
sat a man in a chair also with a hole in his head. He was not torn up like the others
it appeared as if he had shot the others then took his own life. Shannon stood
mouth open. “That’s it I am getting the out of this city right ing now!”
Shannon turned around and sprinted out of the room all the way back to the front
door. Before she could reach the front door the glass shattered and when Shannon
saw them she finally understood these people were dead. There was no doubt
about it any longer, the thought had crept into her mind while she had killed that
woman on the streets but she had pushed it away. “I won’t end up like you.”
Shannon muttered more to herself to stop herself from going crazy, so that maybe
she wouldn’t break down and start crying or screaming hysterically. Shannon
climbed up on the counter and waited for them to get closer. When they did she
leapt over them and out the glass window they had broken. Back on the street she
began to run she could see her car in the distance along with an endless line of
corpses pouring out of the alleys. Shannon could see how slow they moved and
decided to risk a mad dash for her police car. She sprinted and was surprised by
how fast she was moving adrenaline was pumping through her, Corpses were
closing in on her sides but she finally made it. She pulled out her keys and was
thankful she only carried three a cop car key, a locker key and an office key.
Shannon locked her home keys in her locker at the police station; she quickly got
in her car shut the door and locked it. She was lucky because two seconds after
she shut the door the walking dead had made it to her car and began banging on
the windows. She kicked it into first gear and smashed through the hordes of the
dead. She was sickened by the sound of crunching bones all the while thankful cop
cars were so sturdy. If she made it out of here alive she would never complain
about where her taxes went again. She raced down the road and turned down the
next street and saw that her luck had run out. this road was littered with crashed
cars that blocked ahead. Suddenly a car pulled down the same street behind her
traveling at least fifty mph it slammed into a parked car exploding instantly
blocking Shannon from going back. “Oh no you did not just lock my car in here
you son of a !” but he had, Shannon could go no further in either direction by
car so she popped her trunk, exited the vehicle and removed the shotgun from the
back.
To be continued
Crack! A bullet went through the mans head and he went down. Shannon stood
their gun pointed. Shannon is a cop second day on the job and she didn’t need this
kind of
. She realized her ponytail had become undone. She holstered her gun and placed her shoulder length blond hair back into a ponytail. "What the
is wrong with this town" she said to no one. This one the second guy she had to put
down today it wasn’t her fault, this whole town is nothing but crazy people. When
she had asked the first guy what was going on he had tried bite her and she was
not going to stand for it. She punched him right across the face. When he came at
her again she did all she could do she shot him twice in the chest and once in the
head and it worked he wasn’t trying to bit her any more. He was too busy being
dead. That was ten minutes ago. Now she stood over the corpse of this new
casualty and kicked him just him just too make sure he was dead. “Crazy Town
like this can't be too careful" Shannon said too the corpse. As if the town wasn't a
pain in the ass enough. Her radio was not responding. Should have been a lawyer
she thought to herself. After all that’s what mom always wanted. But Shannon had
always been a regular tomboy. It seemed being a cop was the only way to full fill
her need for action. She got it alright after all who wouldn’t call killing two people
in a ten minute span action. Hell with her lick maybe a telephone pole would fall on
her. It was partially her fault she was on this oh so happy adventure. When she
had joined the force missing peoples murders were at an all time high. Plus the
recent reports of Cannibalism. Creepy she thought but it came out of her mouth
it "Sounds like fun where do I sign up?" Finally returning to reality she realized she
had left her car quite away back. She had no means of telling her squadron what
she had done. "Oh well they are all perverts anyway." On her first day she had
been invited to thirteen people’s houses. Half of them were married. Shannon
snickered to herself; maybe she should ask them their number and then tell their
wives. That would be pretty funny. "Well I suppose I should get back to patrol,
maybe If I get really lucky ill get to shoot someone else or maybe at least a dog."
She took a look at her surroundings, she was in an ally garbage littered the sides.
And there was probably more trash out than in the dumpsters. Shannon walked
out onto the streets and saw no one. "They are probably off flipping cars like a
bunch of nut cases." Now she had to get back to her car so she started on down
the sidewalk trying to remember where she had parked. Then somebody walked
out onto the street in front of her and began walking away from her. She was a
lady judging from her hair. She was naked! She had not noticed Shannon.
Shannon ran up after her, when she got about ten feet behind her she
shouted "Hay lady talk about indecent exposure what are you crazy!" "I mean
come on the last thing I need are
ing nudists" The woman turned around. She revealed a hideous face. Pieces of her cheek, her eyes were rolled back and blood
was smeared across her chest. She must have been no older than twenty. When
Shannon saw this abomination she wanted to vomit. “Holy
, Someone beat you with an ugly stick!? “Don’t worry I’m with the police.” The woman made no
response unless a gargling sound was it. The woman lingered their for a couple
seconds then opened her mouth let out an unearthly moan and stumbled toward
Shannon but. Shannon leapt back away from her. “Hey calm down, Back off or
you will be eating sidewalk. The woman paid no heeds she kept on toward
Shannon and coughed up what had to be blood on Shannon’s uniform. She then
tried to bite down on Shannon’s shoulder. Shannon ducked kneed the woman in
the gut and flipped her over. The woman landed face first on the sidewalk.
Shannon stepped back pulled out her gun. “God damn it here we go again!” The
woman got up and slowly began to walk towards Shannon. “BACK OFF
OR YOU WILL BE EATING SIDWALK!” The woman did not stop so Shannon pulled the
trigger. The woman lost half her head and collapsed the other half had the same
effect as a pumpkin hitting a sidewalk. Shannon turned away and vomited. Five
more figures came into view down the street. Shannon thought out loud “
THIS!” and shot the lock off a door and entered it slamming the door behind her.
This is bull
she said to herself as she stared at the floor in darkness. She clicked a light switch and would have vomited again if she hadn’t been on empty.
She was in a grocery store but there were blood smears everywhere and bloody
handprints that seemed to lead to a door along the back. Shannon walked through
the isles up to the door. As she did she noticed the door was cracked and the light
inside the room was on. “I swear if anybody takes one step towards me you will
be
ting bullets!” Shannon kicked open the door. inside were 5 dead people on the floor, each looked torn apart missing limbs, gashes and blood was all over
them. Each had a single hole in their head all had holes in there head in the corner
sat a man in a chair also with a hole in his head. He was not torn up like the others
it appeared as if he had shot the others then took his own life. Shannon stood
mouth open. “That’s it I am getting the
out of this city right ing now!” Shannon turned around and sprinted out of the room all the way back to the front
door. Before she could reach the front door the glass shattered and when Shannon
saw them she finally understood these people were dead. There was no doubt
about it any longer, the thought had crept into her mind while she had killed that
woman on the streets but she had pushed it away. “I won’t end up like you.”
Shannon muttered more to herself to stop herself from going crazy, so that maybe
she wouldn’t break down and start crying or screaming hysterically. Shannon
climbed up on the counter and waited for them to get closer. When they did she
leapt over them and out the glass window they had broken. Back on the street she
began to run she could see her car in the distance along with an endless line of
corpses pouring out of the alleys. Shannon could see how slow they moved and
decided to risk a mad dash for her police car. She sprinted and was surprised by
how fast she was moving adrenaline was pumping through her, Corpses were
closing in on her sides but she finally made it. She pulled out her keys and was
thankful she only carried three a cop car key, a locker key and an office key.
Shannon locked her home keys in her locker at the police station; she quickly got
in her car shut the door and locked it. She was lucky because two seconds after
she shut the door the walking dead had made it to her car and began banging on
the windows. She kicked it into first gear and smashed through the hordes of the
dead. She was sickened by the sound of crunching bones all the while thankful cop
cars were so sturdy. If she made it out of here alive she would never complain
about where her taxes went again. She raced down the road and turned down the
next street and saw that her luck had run out. this road was littered with crashed
cars that blocked ahead. Suddenly a car pulled down the same street behind her
traveling at least fifty mph it slammed into a parked car exploding instantly
blocking Shannon from going back. “Oh no you did not just lock my car in here
you son of a
!” but he had, Shannon could go no further in either direction by car so she popped her trunk, exited the vehicle and removed the shotgun from the
back.
To be continued
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Pinecone on 2004-05-20 at 19:46:50
Im sorry, but l have to admit this story is like a 6th grader wrote it. There are so many grammitical errors and mis-capitalizations. I see the quantity, but wheres the quality?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by EzDay281 on 2004-05-20 at 20:58:02
QUOTE(Pinecone @ May 20 2004, 04:46 PM)
Im sorry, but l have to admit this story is like a 6th grader wrote it. There are so many grammitical errors and mis-capitalizations. I see the quantity, but wheres the quality?
I couldn't have said it better.
And, also... that's a wierd cop...
lol
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sinister_X on 2004-05-20 at 21:18:46
OMG I HATE YOU SON OF A im just messin with you thanks for being trutherful 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Reever on 2004-05-20 at 23:58:58
wasnt tht great but it has an ok story line and there was a gun yae a gun tht was cool
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Zombie on 2004-05-21 at 00:07:10
that was very distrubing... i didnt like it becaues she killed people trying to bite here..... now why the hell whould you kill a zombie?
but it was a pretty good story
continue!!!! im getting restless
but it was a pretty good story
continue!!!! im getting restless
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Yoshi da Sniper on 2004-05-21 at 00:18:09
I was honestly expecting a longer story, but ok...
Its a good start I suppose. Watch the spelling and grammar and focus a bit more on character development.
Its a good start I suppose. Watch the spelling and grammar and focus a bit more on character development.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sinister_X on 2004-05-21 at 06:45:18
QUOTE(Yoshi da Sniper @ May 20 2004, 10:18 PM)
I was honestly expecting a longer story, but ok...
Its a good start I suppose. Watch the spelling and grammar and focus a bit more on character development.
Its a good start I suppose. Watch the spelling and grammar and focus a bit more on character development.
i said it was only part of story and it tells more about charactor at end kind of a weird place to put it but its memories kinda ill post it this afternoon
Report, edit, etc...Posted by @:@ on 2004-05-21 at 10:19:56
Its a good story besides all what the mentioned up there
I am 100% sure police are not allowed to do that.
I am 100% sure police are not allowed to do that.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sinister_X on 2004-05-21 at 14:43:51
instead of adding another post i just edited the story on top so just pick up where you left off i've also fixed many of the grammar problems say what you think ok
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-05-21 at 14:45:04
its ok but needs pictures
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sinister_X on 2004-05-21 at 14:54:50
no picture books need pictures the books ive read i havent seen a picture in them since 5th grade
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2004-05-21 at 14:59:57
have you heard of deviantart.com? Its an online art community, and they'll review what you write
they probably know more then the freaks on here
haha
jk!
but seriously, it doesn't cost anything and the whole system is pretty self explanitory
they probably know more then the freaks on here
hahajk!
but seriously, it doesn't cost anything and the whole system is pretty self explanitory
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Aster on 2004-05-21 at 15:03:31
I dont really like it, its a bit strange ( the site, not the story )
)Report, edit, etc...Posted by @:@ on 2004-05-21 at 15:17:52
QUOTE
She was naked!
You just stepped over the boundary that proves you are a teenager. good job
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sinister_X on 2004-05-21 at 15:20:32
QUOTE(@:@ @ May 21 2004, 01:17 PM)
QUOTE
She was naked!
You just stepped over the boundary that proves you are a teenager. good job
hey buddy how often do you walk down the street and see a naked person huh huh
in this story they dont live in nudevill so sorry i just thought anyone would be surprized
this was not ment to be an agry post just a statement
Report, edit, etc...Posted by EzDay281 on 2004-05-21 at 15:53:16
Well, the zombie part helped some, you're doing better.
You still need to fix-up your english though. I see so many errors, no offense, but it looks like it was made by a 4th grader.
If English isn't your first language I can excuse that, I wouldn't know though. Is it?
Only 1 extra complaint about the, uhh, I guess you could call it "Chapter 2":
Zombies are common. Resident Evil, Silent Hill, hell, even HALO had zombies. Demons, possesed people, werewolves, vampires, or people with some kind of insane disease or something that's effecting they're bodies like the Ebola does without the killing them, making them pissed, and disabling them parts would be better, in my opinion. More original, had I not said them now. Well, the Ebola one, atleast.
You still need to fix-up your english though. I see so many errors, no offense, but it looks like it was made by a 4th grader.
If English isn't your first language I can excuse that, I wouldn't know though. Is it?
Only 1 extra complaint about the, uhh, I guess you could call it "Chapter 2":
Zombies are common. Resident Evil, Silent Hill, hell, even HALO had zombies. Demons, possesed people, werewolves, vampires, or people with some kind of insane disease or something that's effecting they're bodies like the Ebola does without the killing them, making them pissed, and disabling them parts would be better, in my opinion. More original, had I not said them now. Well, the Ebola one, atleast.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Rayne on 2004-05-21 at 15:58:56
I just think Zombie storys/movies have way over done... suggestion... be more creative
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Reever on 2004-05-22 at 23:43:24
well i thought resdnet evil 3 rip off but its good just make the story change into like where she finds out a evil vampire controls the zombies and her daughter was kid napped (if she has one) so she needs to save her but finds her daughter has already benn infected and is now the brain of the zombie world and she must kill her to save the world.