Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2005-12-01 at 00:01:24
For the shortest time
I thought you were mine
But a thought's a thought
Truth- it was not
I wished to write you a song
For my feelings that are strong...
But you are not quite ready
To, with me, go steady
I do not know what to feel
Wishing it was not real
But the fact is that it is
And now it has come to this
-----------------------------
I want to write for you
But not sure what to write
There are things I want to do
But no you means no light
There is shade on all my joy
Nothing is the same
Movies that we watched- like Troy
And when you call my name
I do not know what is next
What is between you and me
I feel as if I've been vexed
And only you could set me free
Haha, we both thought we wanted a relationship, but honestly to say, it was probably just me, leading her into the same zone I was in.
In the end, we realized we were just facinated about each other, and friends were good for us to be, so now we're friends and I am ever glad enough.
I thought you were mine
But a thought's a thought
Truth- it was not
I wished to write you a song
For my feelings that are strong...
But you are not quite ready
To, with me, go steady
I do not know what to feel
Wishing it was not real
But the fact is that it is
And now it has come to this
-----------------------------
I want to write for you
But not sure what to write
There are things I want to do
But no you means no light
There is shade on all my joy
Nothing is the same
Movies that we watched- like Troy
And when you call my name
I do not know what is next
What is between you and me
I feel as if I've been vexed
And only you could set me free
Haha, we both thought we wanted a relationship, but honestly to say, it was probably just me, leading her into the same zone I was in.
In the end, we realized we were just facinated about each other, and friends were good for us to be, so now we're friends and I am ever glad enough.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Forsaken on 2005-12-01 at 00:50:48
QUOTE(Forsaken @ Nov 30 2005, 09:50 PM)
I have heard that poem before elsewhere.
I am kind of gorwing a little skeptical of this literatary work you have displayed.
I will come back if you have stolen this. If it isn't, then you have a great talent.
[right][snapback]368738[/snapback][/right]
I am kind of gorwing a little skeptical of this literatary work you have displayed.
I will come back if you have stolen this. If it isn't, then you have a great talent.
[right][snapback]368738[/snapback][/right]
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2005-12-01 at 01:38:43
Again, if you don't believe me, you can speak to me on MSN. You can find my email at
http://fadingmemories47.deviantart.com/gallery/
(scroll down for my submitted poems)
But if you still cant believe it, well, there isn'tmuch I can do now is there
Either way, whatever your belief, as long as you enjoyed it 
===Edit===
Also, you can put your cursor over each submittion to see how long ago the were posted, if you wanted you could create a timeline and have an idea of how things occured. I hope the date (which some were many months ago) would help validate myself
http://fadingmemories47.deviantart.com/gallery/
(scroll down for my submitted poems)
But if you still cant believe it, well, there isn'tmuch I can do now is there
Either way, whatever your belief, as long as you enjoyed it ===Edit===
Also, you can put your cursor over each submittion to see how long ago the were posted, if you wanted you could create a timeline and have an idea of how things occured. I hope the date (which some were many months ago) would help validate myself
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Forsaken on 2005-12-01 at 17:15:28
I knew I had seen them before!
I've read those on DA.
Then yes, they're very good.
Sorry about me being a little skeptical.
IT's just not often do people have good pieces of literature on SeN.
I've read those on DA.
Then yes, they're very good.Sorry about me being a little skeptical.
IT's just not often do people have good pieces of literature on SeN.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2005-12-02 at 01:15:32
Lol I'm glad you like them, thank you
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-12-03 at 21:15:03
QUOTE
Movies that we watched- like Troy
Sorry, I just burst out into a fit of chuckles there.
Aside from that, there are some issues I have with the grammar. "Is" is softer than "this," so I'm not sure if I would use that (a "z" sound compared to an "s" sound), and this also needs to be fixed from
QUOTE
Wishing it was not real
to "Wishing it were not real," a.k.a. subjunctive tense (I think, if I recall correctly - my school isn't big on grammar and I learn more grammar in Français than in English, in all seriousness).
Other than that, I think these poems could be a bit better with some editing. I realize that it's a big pain, but it, like any other piece of art, is worth the effort to polish.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Do-0dan on 2005-12-03 at 21:24:25
it's fine the way it is
the pronoun "it" is singular, so you would use "was" and not "were"
the pronoun "it" is singular, so you would use "was" and not "were"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2005-12-04 at 11:59:07
That would be past imperfect right? That's stating it as if it were fact, but he is wishing it were different. Those are different tenses.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2005-12-05 at 02:20:03
hm, I thought I took that part out >< guess I didn't.
When I first wrote that part (The Troy part) I felt that it was pretty forcing just to rhyme...
I should be better with grammar, but I guess I wasn't very careful there, was I?
When I first wrote that part (The Troy part) I felt that it was pretty forcing just to rhyme...
I should be better with grammar, but I guess I wasn't very careful there, was I?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by WoodenFire on 2005-12-05 at 18:28:31
Sexy.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2005-12-08 at 20:25:47
Rofl, sexy you say
From my mind
I will find
The words you've said
On my bed (ok, ON, not IN you weirdos)
And repeat them there
Forever and on
For you, Sara-bear...
Will never be gone
ex gf T.T lol
From my mind
I will find
The words you've said
On my bed (ok, ON, not IN you weirdos
)And repeat them there
Forever and on
For you, Sara-bear...
Will never be gone
ex gf T.T lol