IT
The leaves ruffled as It moved through the trees. It jumped down and grabbed a dog. It mutilated the animal sinking It’s teeth into the poor canine’s carcass. Then, it set out into the town for fresh blood. The fresh blood of a human baby! It moved through the town, running soundlessly across people’s roofs, listening for the calm breathing of an infant. Finally, It heard a baby. Like a certain winter holiday icon, It slid down the chimney the delicious sound was coming from. It went straight to the baby’s room, snatching it, up the chimney they went. As soon as they were at It’s house on 8 Publec Lane, It ate, plunging It’s face into the now dead infant. It was a horrible creature! But, the worst thing was, It was human!
The next day, It set out again to find lunch. Today, It was in the mood for a nice fat, juicy adult. Sadly, it was hard to find a satisfying adult nowadays with all the super diet health crazes. Suddenly, It got an idea. It walked into a red and yellow fast food restaurant and looked around. It saw a plump man in the back, eating a burger. The only problem was getting the man outside. It would have to wait for the man to finish eating. After a while, the man finished his burger. It waited outside the door and as soon as the man exited the building, It knocked him out and carried him away effortlessly to It’s house.
Three weeks later, the people of the city that It lived in finally realized something was going on. The police realized that every day, a person was disappearing and never returning. They called the FBI, who derived that there was a serial killer. But one day, a man was jogging and he tripped over something. He looked down and screamed as he saw a human leg bone. This brought the FBI to the conclusion that there is a cannibal going around killing people and eating them.
As soon as It found out about this, It ran out of town. The next day, the FBI came into the people of the city’s houses. It’s house was trashed up and covered with blood all around. There were bones and limbs strewn about the house. The FBI asked neighbors if they knew anything about the residents of the house. None of them did. In fact, none of them knew anyone lived there. They didn’t find anything, except It’s place of residence.
It was running through the woods. Thinking of a place It could hide in. A cave? No, that was too predictable. Anyone who has ever read any kind of story involving a cannibal would check in a cave. Aha! An elementary school. It’s elementary school! Jon Pleex elementary. It went straight into the Gymnasium after breaking in. Looking for a place to hide. The broom closet? No. Too obvious. Under the stage? Perfect! It hid under the giant stage in front of the room.
In the morning, a young boy walked into the gym, alone. It sneaked silently from under the stage and snatched the boy. It killed him instantly and devoured him for breakfast silently hidden under the stage, blood leaking out of It’s mouth. An evil grin on It’s face.
“Damn…” It said quietly realizing It would be found out right away if it stayed in the school. It would have to move out right after the school day ended.
The last bell of the school day rang and the kids ran out of class. It waited about half an hour, then left It’s hiding spot. Thinking the zoo would be a great place to hide. It could go into the monkey cages. It headed for the furry human-like animals cage and slipped through the bars. It hid in the bed of straw the monkeys sleep in. It would be hard to get food here, too many people would notice in such a public place. It would have to go back to the city for food.
The next morning, It went out into the town for food. It grabbed a nice plump eight year old off a park swing and ran off to a public restroom to eat the girl. After breakfast, It went back to the monkey cages to sleep.
Meanwhile, the FBI was searching through Jon Pleex elementary for clues as to where It was hiding. They found a trail of blood leading to the city zoo. Odd… before, It was sure to cover up any trail It had made. They went in and searched the zoo. In a pile of straw in the monkey cage, they found It! It was a young girl of about nine or ten years old! They chloroformed her and took her to the police station.
It woke up in a police station. Where am I? It thought.
“Are you okay, little girl?” an officer asked.
“Yes, I- I’m fine.” she answered.
“We found you in the monkey cage at the zoo, covered in blood!” the officer exclaimed.
“Oh… yeah…” she whimpered.
“So, what’s your name?”
“Persepoli.” she answered.
“Beautiful name.”
“Thank you…”
“So, why were you covered in blood, and in the monkey cage?” the man inquired.
“Ummmm… I-I really d-don’t know,” she lied.
“Are you sure?” the man said. “We have evidence that somehow links you to a series of cannibalistic murders. Although… that is highly unrealistic for a girl your age.” The man explained, with a fearful look in his eye.
“Well… actually…” Persepoli said, revealing “It”, she lunged for the man, baring her teeth. The handcuffs on the chair held her back.
“I knew it! We got her.” The man said.
“AAAAGH! DAMMIT!” the young cannibal screamed, as the sheriff threw her in a small, solitary cell.
“You’ve eaten so many people, I’ll see that you have the death sentence personally myself. That is, if we can prove it in court.” The sheriff said, as she locked the cell and walked away.
A week later, Persepoli was taken to the court to be tried for murder and cannibalism.
“Order in the court” the judge exclaimed. As soon as the people calmed down, Persepoli jumped up and lunged forward to attack the judge. The bailiff shot her as soon as she jumped up, but that didn’t phase her. She killed three people, including the judge before the bailiff finally killed her with a bullet through the head and another through the heart. There she lay… dead, on the floor. The case was cancelled and all of the bodies were taken to the morgue. The people of the town lived much better without having to worry about possibly being killed in their sleep and dragged away to be eaten. The girl Persepoli, or, “It” was dead and the town was safe.
The End… Or is It?
Personally, I think the story would have been more interesting from someone else's point of view. It would have been more shocking to find out the creature's true identity if one of the characters made the discovery. As I read it, I imagined seeing everything from the creature's point of view, which would get really annoying if this were a 2 hour movie. The story lacked a lot of structure. There was no suspense because the story didn't make me care about anyone in it. If you were going for scary, then shocking images on top of shocking images won't do it. Less is more. Learn more about legal procedures, crime rates, and law enforcement, because the behavior of the police and detectives was not very believeable.
Aside from some easily fixable grammar mistakes, I can tell you pay attention in English class. The cleanliness of the writing is enough to make me elevate the score. Pay more attention to what movies and books DON'T say, and you're writing will improve dramatically.
4/10