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Staredit Network -> Lite Discussion -> Monogamy and Polygamy
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2006-01-07 at 03:58:59
There's this girl called Helen, and she is dating two people: Kim, and Nick. They both know it, and from my impression Kim is alright with it. However, Nick blatantly refutes her practice of having more than one person she is dating. So, where would you draw the line? Is it possible to have more than one lover? Should she break up with Kim to stay with Nick, or break up with Nick to keep Kim?

I think she should respect Nick's wishes; she did start dating him first. I think she should dump Kim, its unhealthy to be lovers of two people...kind of like serving two masters, will both of them ever be happy?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by RexyRex on 2006-01-07 at 04:25:51
Maybe Helen just wants a lot of sex. As in she's a whore.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mune'R0x on 2006-01-07 at 04:27:19
That Nick sounds like a real asshole and should mind his business. And it does sound like she wants a lot of sex. What a whore. Wow, you're good Rexy. I like your way of thinking.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Sie_Sayoka on 2006-01-07 at 05:43:59
wtf.... i think either helen should dump kim. if she doesnt do this then nick should dump helen.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by ... on 2006-01-07 at 16:05:33
Dumping is so immature. Breaking up is mature.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by HorroR on 2006-01-07 at 16:10:04
Break up with both. If Nick doesn't kill her, the sexually transmitted diseases will.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Infested-Jerk on 2006-01-07 at 16:29:28
If Nick was smart he would have already broken up with her.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2006-01-07 at 16:35:50
QUOTE(Infested-Jerk @ Jan 7 2006, 04:29 PM)
If Nick was smart he would have already broken up with her.
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Fo sho.

And it's not like they're in a relationship. They are just dating.

You don't want to start any relationships (promises) before a couple of dates so you know each other. Nick didn't know Helen too well.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2006-01-07 at 17:06:09
Nick and Helen have been dating since Nick and I broke up last September. So they obviously have been going out for a while. Helen is an interesting child...there's a lot of things about her that I couldn't post on here due to censors.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2006-01-07 at 17:11:50
Nick is just caught in the moment. Let him clear his head. I mean if Helen is that "interesting."

If Helen is that kind of person and Nick doesn't like it, then he should just move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Neiji on 2006-01-07 at 17:28:35
But remember, fish contain mercury that could kill you. Go for LOBSTER!!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kow on 2006-01-07 at 17:36:40
Stick with one partner. This is America, and monogamy is the normal for this nation. I personally would be offended that I'm not the only love of their lives (Assuming they love each other like that, and I know it seems selfish, I'm a jealous guy). If I were Nick, and Helen didn't show any sign of breaking up with Kim (Is Helen Bi?), I would break up with Helen.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2006-01-07 at 17:58:41
QUOTE(Kow @ Jan 7 2006, 03:36 PM)
Stick with one partner. This is America, and monogamy is the normal for this nation. I personally would be offended that I'm not the only love of their lives (Assuming they love each other like that, and I know it seems selfish, I'm a jealous guy). If I were Nick, and Helen didn't show any sign of breaking up with Kim (Is Helen Bi?), I would break up with Helen.
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But isn't your first statement blatently punishing someone with a different lifestyle? And yes, Helen is bi.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-01-07 at 18:07:41
Polygamy if all parties agree, I suppose. Personally, I like monogamous relationships when I decide to stick with one girl for a while, and I would be a tad upset if they were seeing someone else. Of course, I've dated a few girls at a time without telling them about each other. But I didn't make any longterm promises to any of them (I don't think).
QUOTE(Kame @ Jan 7 2006, 05:58 PM)
And yes, Helen is bi.
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I have to say it now, I can't stand bisexuals. Well, that's a bit harsh. I guess what I'm saying is that I can't stand people who live their lives by the definition of the word. I'm jaded on the whole thing because my boy's mom thinks she's bisexual (plus, she's a prostitute, so she has a far more active social life than I do). I'm going to stop because if I keep going then we'll get into why I don't like women in general.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kow on 2006-01-07 at 18:13:35
QUOTE(Doodan @ Jan 7 2006, 06:07 PM)
Polygamy if all parties agree
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That's an exception to my 'America's norm'.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2006-01-07 at 18:49:32
Monogamy is not America's norm. It's been a norm in the making for the past millenia.

Here to quote from a book how monogamy was developed:
QUOTE
What I've discovered by doing my homework is that the moral idea of monogamy (having only one partner at a time) has been formalized, passed down, and force-fed to us culturally by rulers, religions, and women for thousands of years.

I don't mean to get too far out here, but I feel that understanding from where these beliefs came and how they are promoted will liberate many readers.

Onward.

Anywhere from hundreds to thousands of years ago, rulers of lands kept large harems of women. These harems were guarded carefully to prevent any males except the rulers from having access to these women. The penalty for sleeping with one of the ruler's women would be, in an extreme case, your own death and the deaths of everyone in your family and village. (Back then there were bigger risks involved!)

These rulers kept so many women not just for the sexual variety that it provided them, but also for the reproductive power that it gave them. These rulers often had detailed records kept so they could copulate with only the most fertile women and maximize the woman's chance of pregnancy and passing on their own genes.

So what do you think these rulers did to protect their harems?

Right! They passed laws (from which they were exempt) to promote monogamy.

In these times there was a great shortage of women, so these laws would discourage married men (those lucky enough to find a woman) from seeking sex outside of their marriage and therefore further protect the ruler's harem.

Next, we have the church.

Many religions prohibit sex, make sex 'wrong', give it some name with a negative connotation like 'fornication', or in one way or another discourage it.

I once heard a wise man say, "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and procreate and make it wrong." Why? Well, if you're busy fighting your internal drives, and you see God as the only way to cleanse yourself of these 'bad' thoughts, then you are a much better SHEEP.

If you want to get people to follow you, first confuse them, then convince them that you know the way to get them out of their confused state. Easy.

Finally, we have women. This is the interesting one.

If you look at it from an 'economic' standpoint, it doesn't benefit women at all to have their man running around having sex with other women. She can only be pregnant with one child at a time, and she can only raise a limited number at a time. So having a man who's out spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her.

When you're out spreading seed, you can't be working or at home helping. Even worse, you might have other kids with other women who will further divide your attention and income. (By the way, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with women's perspectives. I'm just saying that if you look at it from their point of view, there's not a lot of benefit to having a man who likes to sleep with a lot of women.)

So anything that promotes monogamy like religion is seen as 'right' to many women, as it goes along with what they think and feel.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Chronophobia on 2006-01-07 at 19:32:08
Why can't they all just join some swinger site and "date" around?!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodan on 2006-01-07 at 20:14:34
QUOTE(LegacyWeapon @ Jan 7 2006, 06:49 PM)
Here to quote from a book how monogamy was developed:
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David DeAngelo, by any chance?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2006-01-07 at 20:34:38
Fo sho.
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