Report, edit, etc...Posted by Devil_O_Duce on 2006-01-11 at 23:34:56
Ok, well i have to read this MLK poem to my school and i needed suggestions, changes, add-ins and other helpful things well here it is
Martin Luther King Jr. Poem
There's a cancer in our nation and its known as segragation.
It spreads and eats the hearts of man.
Like burning oil in a pan.
Ruby Bridges was part of this.
She helped and worked to get just this.
The time when children white and black.
Would be united and not just halved.
This was not the first brave act.
Infact Rosa Parks had challenged one rule.
By not moving to were a white man chose.
She was thrown in jail but made a statement
One of freedom and no discrimination.
Martin Luther King a man of peace
Chose to rise up and state his beliefs
His dream of a place without segragation
Would soon after become our beloved nation.
Martin Luther King Jr. Poem
There's a cancer in our nation and its known as segragation.
It spreads and eats the hearts of man.
Like burning oil in a pan.
Ruby Bridges was part of this.
She helped and worked to get just this.
The time when children white and black.
Would be united and not just halved.
This was not the first brave act.
Infact Rosa Parks had challenged one rule.
By not moving to were a white man chose.
She was thrown in jail but made a statement
One of freedom and no discrimination.
Martin Luther King a man of peace
Chose to rise up and state his beliefs
His dream of a place without segragation
Would soon after become our beloved nation.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2006-01-17 at 02:12:39
Though I despise the entire MLK topic because it makes everyone think blacks were the only ones ever enslaved and treated badly... the entire thing has a point.. just people are stupid.
You have an introduction to the topic and of the characters, but the entire topic isn't quite detailed. Maybe you could mention about the bathroom sparations, bus seat "rules", ect.
Other than some punctuation errors, all seems well
8/10
The buses will no longer separate
Those of black or white
Bathroom and fountains shared by all
To you and my delight
lol i shouldn't even have posted, but I did, so there you go
You have an introduction to the topic and of the characters, but the entire topic isn't quite detailed. Maybe you could mention about the bathroom sparations, bus seat "rules", ect.
Other than some punctuation errors, all seems well
8/10
The buses will no longer separate
Those of black or white
Bathroom and fountains shared by all
To you and my delight
lol i shouldn't even have posted, but I did, so there you go