My Vampire-Fiction story, Enjoy
The Chronicles Of Alco
Twas not a quarter past twelve as Alco patrolled the nearby streets. Nor had it been an hour since he had last done so. Tonight was a bright full moon to be seen and he felt quite restless. His black boots stomped over the cold ground in an even pace as his overcoat followed his heels just off the ground by a few inches. Alco had witnessed something quite strange the night before and he recalled it back into his mind as if it had just happened....
Altra one of his class mates was walking down the road. He figured he would go and say hi to her since he had always had a bit of a crush for her. She turned into an alley which Alco knew led behind the A&P. He turned the corner to see a blood spattered wall and a man on the ground his throat slit. Alco gasped. He could not believe it. Altra was always a quiet gothic type of person and this was gruesome. He went around the alley way corner to the back of the A&P to see Altra licking blood off of her hand. Her head turned and she looked at him. Alco just stood still..... Alco stood watching her. Altra was a bloody mess. "What have you done Altra?" Alco asked trying to keep his voice steady. "Exactly what i may decide to do to you should you choose to talk about tonight’s events...." Altra replied smugly. She turned and walked away. "God damn her..." Alco whispered to himself. The next day he passed her in the hall sending a deathly cold chill down his spine. Every time he saw her his thoughts went back to that man. His neck torn open his stomach slashed. The wall seeping with blood. It was all too much.
It had been 2 weeks since the incident with Altra. Alco was all but forgetful of it. Life although it went on just wasnt the same because hed pass her in the schools crowded halls and he would get that chill and the entire scene would seem gloomy. It seemed that it was all over until....
"You were talking weren’t you?" Altra slammed Alco against a wall of lockers. “I didn’t say shiz get off me!" Alco fired back and pushed her back. "Listen buddy the cops say they have a lead on this. I heard it on the news today. Bad enough what i have to do to survive in this day and age but a rat is the las...." She was cut off "You wanna keep yelling or shall we discuss this somewhere private?" Altra looked over her shoulder at a slowly gathering crowd. They walked into the art room. "Hey Mrs. Thompson can we use your office for a bit?" Alco was always the teachers pet in art and he liked it that way. Mrs. Thompson was the only cool teacher in the entire school. "Sure but if anyone asks i know nothing about it." She said with a smirk "Yea yea i know the drill" Alco and Altra walked into the office on the side of the art room. "Look I didn’t rat you out. I didn’t say anything to anyone. So go grill some one else on this." Alco was infuriated by the thought of anyone especially her calling him a rat. He had her back on this for almost a month and now she thought it was him. He admitted to himself she had only little reason but reason nothing less. "Sorry then im wasting my time..." Altra was about to walk out "Hold up a sec. You want me to keep solid on this I’m gonna want something for me..." He said slowly "Okay I won’t kill you once the heats off." Altra said in her im so much better then you so fark off voice. "I want one damn thing and you better do it." Alco said with his counter looking iron stare. "What is it?" Altra asked knowing he could turn her in at any time.
"Turn me"
Altra nearly exploded with laughter. Alco was not so amused. "You have got to be kidding me. Are you that stupid? Hah!" Altra could barely contain her laughter. "I’m not smiling now do we have a deal?" Alco said keeping his iron serious stare on. "Meet me at the alley behind the Dunkin Doughnuts next to the A&P. Saturday 6:30. Don’t be late." Altra said now being serious she decided if he wanted to be miserable let him. She thought he had no chance of handling such a thing. "See you then." Alco said taking off his iron stare and replacing it with an amused smile.
The next day was Friday and school continued as usually for all its 9th graders. Being 15 wasn’t easy and Alco knew this. His grades were the least of his worries. And it showed.
Science: C
Math: D
Language Arts: D
Social Studies: C
Art: A
Tech: A
Home Ec: C
French: F
Alco laughed. It was first marking period and he had already gone below what he thought he was going to get. But that made it ever more amusing. He figured he’d show his parents late Sunday night so he would be fine for the weekend and his little meeting with Altra.
Saturday arrived.
It was time....
In the other realm, the heavens or hell as some would say the gods of the world mused over the idea of the uniting of the main opposing forces. In the other realm it works like this:
There is good and evil. No main god but many gods. Angels came in light and dark. But what if these forces united? No one ever even entertained the idea. Until it was the chaos lord Balanar thought of this. Chaos magic unlike light and dark did not vary. Chaos was chaos. But no one knew what made chaos magic it had never been known all they knew was it existed. So he took 2 lowly angels named Olca and Artla and he reversed their very essences. He made the Dark, Artla light and did the opposite to Olca. What he got was pure chaos magic a form of it never seen even to the gods. He kept these findings secret but setting them on earth to brew until the time to harvest their power was right. But unfortunately he was murdered by Hades' Lt.s Before he could execute this plan. But what the gods set in motion could not be stopped. The pure chaos would return in an alliance of The Heavens and Hell. It was only a matter of time......
It had been a week since the night Altra refused to turn Alco. He had watched her hunt and it was gruesome. He had watched her almost constantly. If he wasn’t home or at school he was with her. And he kept this to himself but he had never felt more alive. Altra hated this. Having a human with her only slowed her already slow eternity. She made her victims even more destroyed to try and make him scared. It had done the opposite. Alco was interested in her so much that nothing she did would shake him off. She spent almost every minute with him.
Secretly and not even admitting to herself she loved it. Having him around was a change from her lonely life. He was a warm caring person and having him around was grand. But she hid it from herself as best she could so one day she may forget it all together. On the Saturday of their second week of hanging out together they stopped in the park to rest for a bit.
"Altra this has been by far the best time of my life." Alco said with his voice still full of amazement from all he was learning from her. "You still want it dont you?" Altra asked with a look so gloomy the dead would frown upon it. "I know the ups and downs of being a vampire, but yes i still want it. But dont look so sad Altra. Even if im miserable id be glad knowing you told me first rather then doom me to it." Alco was now focused on her. Her look of gloom made him feel bad about the entire thing. "Alco i haven’t enjoyed too much of these past 2 weeks. I wanted to scare you out of it. Or even bore you out of it. The only exciting thing that i showed you was hunting. And that was meant to scare you. But i still have to question why you'd choose to be doomed to this for all eternity."
Altra said this while trying to convey her deep sadness on it. She hated it. She couldn’t think of one reason why hed want it. "Because a human only lives so long. And we're lesser. In power and other things. So what if i'd be dependant on blood? I wouldn’t care for a second! And plus Altra I’d have eternity to spend. Id never be short of time...And..." He paused for a moment.
"I love you Altra..."
Altra was, to say the least, totally in shock. Her mouth was open and her face had a blank expression. Alco who had been keeping this for 3 years was not in the least bit comfortable with what he had just done. Neither said a word as Alco was red in the face and Altra was still totally blank. Finally some one had to break the silence...
"A..Alco..." Altra could barely get out. "I should go..." Alco said getting up. Altra grabbed his arm "Alco i wouldnt have ever guessed in my life...And id have all the time in the world to think about it too," Altra said not even able to look at Alco. Partly because she was trying to hide the tears streaming down her face. "But never..." Altras eyes went wide. "Would i have guessed any human could care for a vampire. Let alone you caring about me. From my point a view i just had a curse that you wanted. In your eyes it was a gift." Altra was straining to keep her voice steady. "Altra are you really that sure that every one hates you that much? In your mind is it really that painful to think that you may be liked?" Alco asked now noticing just how shook up Altra was.
And how she thought every one thought of her. Of course she was wrong, not that many would feel the same knowing what she was. A pain self caused yet so easily destroyed if known how. Altra made this deep hatred from what she had been told humans would think of her. She had never known caring from anyone except her former master who was nothing more then a teacher. But thats the best she ever had.
"Alco, i understand how your looking at this now. If you still want it then ill do it." Altra said this now without her look of gloom. More of an enlightened look. It had been a total of 2 months. And Alco had just taken down 10 years of built pain and hatred.
Alco and Altra spent the rest of the night talking about various things in the park. Things they wanted to say but couldnt. It was all okay now. Until...It was 11:30 and they were both past curfew. Alco left the park a seperate way from Altra because their homes were in diffrent directions. And the park was a bit far away aswell. Alco was crossing the street when he heard a blaring noise. A bright glow came up on his right and before he could look...He was on the ground...
Altra knew nothing of this. Only that he had not been in school the next 2 days. No one knew anything. Rumors of a freak accident flowed around the school. But these were just rumors....or were they...
Altra stopped at Alcos house on wensday to see just what had happend.
No one answered the door. The car was gone and no one was home. She was walking back down the driveway when Alcos neighbor Zack was walking down the street to his house. "Hey Altra why were you at Alcos?" Zack asked a bit suprised scince Altra was thought of in school to talk to no one. "Any idea what happend to him?" Altra asked ignoring why she was there. "Oh he got hit by a car on saturday. He was at the park and like around 11 something he got hit by a car. Good thing it was a little honda though. I hear hes still critical." Zack said Altra was already half way down the street by the time he finished.....
I think you have a decent plotline going here, but I can't help but feel that your style of writing is a little cumbersome and hard to read. If you use standard fiction conventions then your writing will be much more accessible.