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How many of you guys out there still uphold the forgotten practice of gallantry towards women? I'm not quite the chair pull outer/push inner, but when it comes to doors and paying, I ALWAYS assume the responsiblity belongs to me. I absolute loathe having a girl pay for me and insist that I take the bill. Althought at the end of the day I'm broke, its just the way I am.

I also recently discovered that I can NOT under any circumstances walk through a door that's being held open by a girl. Instead I'll reach over her head and grab the door myself until she walks through. Almost seems like an obssessive compulsive disorder haha. Doesn't matter what the girl looks like, I still feel its my job to hold the door open for her. I've found myself jerking back to grab a closing door if a girl is on her way out.

Many people downplay chivalry as a hidden means of control, and a sexist act. But for me, that's just the way I am. I will and will always live by the golden rule "ladies first".

isnt chivalry the code of the european knights? anyway i do try be a gentleman wherever i go.

Chivalry is tricky. Depending on its usage, you can either come off as a damn sexy beast, or a loser who's desperate for approval. Some women are given the nice treatment by so many losers that they come to equate such behavior with guys who are losers. In other words, if a guy pays for dinner, they think that he's trying to indebt them and make them feel guilty if they don't do something for him in return. They're not always wrong, either. Of course, some women like it and usually expect it, regardless of it's motivation.

One thing that guys need to learn is BEING CHIVALROUS WILL NOT MAKE A GIRL LIKE YOU. It may make her feel smart, thinking she can predict your behavior, but this usually ruins it for you because girls don't want predictable guys.

Here's what works for me: I take every opportunity I get to say something that pushes comfort limits. I'm not overtly gross or sexual, but I make the girl wonder if I'm ever going to take it too far. I also tease and pester them a lot. Then, when we're about to enter a building, I wait for them to reach for the door, and then I quickly grab it before they can. I give them a look and then open it for them. You should only do that once though, and early. If done correctly, then almost every door you encounter becomes a race to open it for the other person, which can result in flirting and bodily contact.

I act in a gentlemanly towards all women. By that, I mean that I hold doors open, smile politely etc.

However, I only pay for dinner and so on when I have the money. If I was rich, I'd pay all the time. I don't think it's a good idea to let women think that you'll pay for anything without question though. I encourage financial independence because:
1. You don't have to pay for everything.
2. You can't excercise control over the girl's finance (assuming you get into a serious relationship), leading to less resentment etc.

I think that a gentlemanly approach in public life and a more confident approach in, for example, the bedroom, is the best to take. It catches girls off guard - they don't expect 'interesting' behaviour from a gentleman.

Ya know, unless you plan on dating femme nazis, I think its a good idea to at least offer to hold the door or to pay. I mean, I went to dinner and bowling my first time out with a guy, and we compensated by I paid for dinner and he paid for bowling. Of course I had to convince him to let me pay...that's the best way to do it. If a guy offers four times, I usually back down on paying, but I don't want to seem to cheap...ya know?

I always offer to pay unless I don't have the means. Then I explain why I can't.

Yeah, I still sorta do that type of thing. At least to girls I don't know. On dates and all, you gotta realize...there is NO girl that likes that type of thing.

Observing certain girl's nature, they sorta want a guy that is nice but still sorta tells them what to do, and being totally polite doesn't always give them that idea...

Eh, I still do chivalry

Haha nice Doodan, where did you come up with that?

I think all girls respect chivalry and want guys to show at least a minor chivalrous side every once in a while. But overdoing it definatly undermines the entire process. If you're jumping through double doors and spending more than you earn on her, I think you need to tone it down a bit.

And the big ones like putting your jacket down on a puddle of water so she can walk on it -- save those for when you've been married for twenty years.

Chivalry is dead.