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Yea so let me just tell you guys one thing. I am here to get advice and I have and do sometimes drink and get drunk. Nothing new to me.

But

My girlfriend, up until now, did not drink or get drunk. But last night, with her 8 or so girlfriends drank. Some of her friends got drunk, and she drank some, but not much.

Now under any normal events I could care less based on my back round. But for some reason I am angry at her. I have a feeling like I have been left out of something, like a lonely feeling. Now I know this is completely normal for a person in high school to "try things out".

I geuss what is bothering me is that:

1. She didn't tell me she was drinking last night until only after I had looked at her pictures of that night and seen the beer can in her hand.
2. She said she wasn't like that (those kinds of people who drink)
3. I predicted, almost to the detail, how her first time would happen (before this night) And I feel like this drinking may continue.

So Im here to get advice from you guys to see how I should feel or how you feel about this. I honestly would rather have her not drink, but then again I sort of and should care less.

help...

The most effective way of effecting a person is talking face to face, No lies, I was in that one class for highschool. Tell her what you feel about her. Tell her how you feel about her drinking, And if she doesn't want to stop drinking just tell her how it will affect your relationship with her.

I was in a similar situation, only it was me getting drunk for the first time without my g/f at the time who was wanting to get me drunk. I was in an on/off relationship with my son's mom right after getting her pregnant and I went to another girl's house for the weekend (this model I'd known for a couple of years who lived out of state. I'd always had the biggest crush on her ). Anyways, I got drunk for the first time while I was up there and when I came back and told my boy's mom about it she was pissed. She'd wanted to get me drunk. That sort of thing was special to her, I guess, being such an addict and all.

I'm the "kind of person" that doesn't drink. In fact, that weekend almost 5 years ago was the ONLY time in my life I've ever been drunk. There were very special circumstances that lead to me doing it. First was the amount of stress I was under. I had just found out I'd gotten a girl pregnant and I was only 16! Secondly, since I had "feelings" for the girl I went and stayed with for awhile, I felt pressured to party like everyone else was. I guess thirdly was just curiosity.

You should find out about wether or not she liked it, as well as what kind of friends she has. If she really is a "good girl" (and there aren't many, you lucky illegitimate child), then she probably won't do it again unless those rare circumstances occur again.

You know, My girlfriend went to a party without me once because i was working, But i told her she could go, The thing it that i don't know if something happened over there with a another guy, she was drinking also. But you shouldn't be mad, you have no reason, I mean inless there where guys over there, You shouldnt even care. She shouldnt have to say when she is going to be drinking or not.

I don't really think that her getting slightly drunk is a big deal - girls' nights out can be notorious for binge drinking - the only thing that matters here is the fact that she didn't tell you.

I don't know if you have an open, 'no secrets' relationship or not, but if you do then your feelings are probably justified.

I think I know where the worry about your girlfriend getting drunk comes from, because I've felt it before:

1. If your girlfriend drives - you worry that she might drink, drive and crash.
2. You're worried that she might get with other guys if she's really drunk.
3. You've found out something about her that you didn't know about before (that she drinks), and you're not sure if you're ok with it. Such a revelation can temporarily dampen a relationship and release a boil of confused emotions.

I have a feeling that she will react very badly if you let on that you're angry with her, so don't unless you think your relationship can take the strain of a major argument. On the other side of the coin, if you let the issue lie it might fester and build up resentment, which you definitely don't want if you're interested in keeping your relationship going.

It's also important to understand what she might think if you let her know that you're angry with her:

1. She might feel angry because she'll feel that you think very little of her - that she might cheat if she got drunk, or drive etc.
2. She might think that you're being possessive and trying to dictate to her what she can and can't do.

Believe me when I say that your 'lonely' feeling (perhaps even an empty, hollow feeling, like you've been somehow betrayed?) is not uncommon in situations like this.

My advice:
This is difficult. You know your girlfriend best, and how she'll react if you tell her (nicely) that you feel kind of weird because she went out drinking without telling you, so it's got to be entirely your decision whether you tell her about your feelings about it or not.

If you drink yourself and she knows about it, you can't tell her to stop drinking.

She's not allowed to drink without answering to you if she wants to? I'd be more respectful of privacy... this is where the trust of the relationship comes in. If the drinking is leading to things that would breach this trust (ie, telling you she's not drinking, or getting with other guys while she's drunk)... then you have a damn good reason to take action.

Let the girl have fun. Respect what she wants to do, but not too much that it is life threatening.

You feel betrayed because she didn't tell you? Thats a common feeling, now everyone has their secrets or something they don't want a certain person to find out, keep that in mind and you should be able to forget about it. I bet you have secrets that you won't tell her and that I have secrets I'll keep to myself. And MiniMoose has secrets. President Bush has secrets. You get my point, you just gotta remember that some things are better that you don't know. But in this case you obviously found out from the pictures(I mean how do you know that she didn't get drunk that night too??? The answer really is you don't) this will take time to heal, if your patient it'll blow over.

Yea thanks for all the help!

Yeah, like i hadn't drank since we started going out and I told I hadn't (like 5 months ago).

And we had been talking about it, and about what her first time might be like and this is when I made the prediction. Yea so I just felt weird thatshe didn't tell me you know.

We have a very open, no real secret relationship.

I would consider her a good girl, but I am afraid that she can be influenced by her older friends becuase "thats what every one else is doing" you know?

@MiniMoose: Well it was her first time, and Im not saying she has to come and tell me every time she drinks, but she was just starting out and me and her have talked about it so you would think she would tell me you know?

I'd open up about it. (If you haven't already) Think about your experiences with drinking and share them. Simply forget about the not telling. I'd guess it was more of a passive drink anway, where someone simply suggested and she took. And theres always the idea that she got drunk and didn't really remember it as something to mention immediately.

And just to tell you if your not already aware of this. Everyone is influenced by everyone they come in contact with. Many people can be defined by the people they know, so if those people are doing things, she probably will sometime, if she is good friends.