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Staredit Network -> Literature & Writing -> Hate
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dada on 2006-04-25 at 00:50:07
[center]Hate

Hate, hate is all I feel
I fear my heart will never break the seal
of my hidden love
for the one true dove
for all i feel is hate
and i fear it will be to late
for my love to ever come back at all
I want to see hate fall
to fall and never return....[/center]

Right now I can't think of anything else to finish this poem with but when I come up with it I will retype it again on this topic!

It may not be that great but I was bored and I asked someone that was reading it over my shoulder (rude, I know) if it was good and they said it was "ok"!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2006-04-25 at 01:08:36
Hate... such a powerful word.

I hate with a passion
Like a dagger
Deeply imbedded
In veins and muscle

I hate with evil
Like tainted hands
With pretentious thoughts
Holding a child

I even hate you
For how you could
Strip away
My fragile heart

In fact,
I hate myself
For hating you
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dada on 2006-04-25 at 11:47:52
I can't tell if you liked my poem or you just telling me you hate me. </3 sad.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)7-7 on 2006-04-25 at 13:52:35
sure, but poems arent my type!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2006-04-25 at 16:56:59
I liked it. It appears you have a natural talent for getting your poems to flow. smile.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dada on 2006-04-25 at 18:17:22
REALLY!?
Whoa I didnt expect that to happen!

Since you guys liked that one then I hope you like this one

[center]Love

Love is the trigger to all
only to surface then to fall
Love will make you hate
make you reconsiderate
Love will make you cry
make your wonder why
why you were in love
with this wonderful dove
Love will make you fight
say to each other "Get out of my sight!"
Love doesnt hide for long
It will surface again and sing its wonderful song
It may fall
but over it all
It arises again....[/center]

I don't like this one to much just because I think I repeated the word Love to much.
Comments plz biggrin.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2006-04-26 at 03:26:15
Lol, I didn't hate your poem, I was just more focused on my own situation and couldn't get over it... so i wrote about hate... it's not about you though, lol.

It feels like you're doing what I used to do (and still do sometimes), being too forceful with words just so they'd rhyme.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dada on 2006-04-26 at 09:17:49
Oh, ok. I thought that you hated my poem so much you wrote about it, lol. biggrin.gif

So not every line has to rhyme?

I always thought they all had too, well i know that some poems don't rhyme but i didnt know once you have at least one rhyme then the whole poem has too.
(Just getting the hang of rhyming) thumbup.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by JaFF on 2006-04-26 at 10:12:29
QUOTE(Mp)Dada @ Apr 26 2006, 01:17 AM)

Love will make you hate

[right][snapback]472637[/snapback][/right]


love is the opposite to hate. how can love (true love) lead to hate ?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dada on 2006-04-26 at 17:54:56
Its kinda relating to Marrige! Like later on one of the people may make the other one hate them and they may fight alot. Then after while they all calm down and they fall in love again!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)Blu on 2006-04-26 at 19:33:05
Mp)Dada... YOU are my new idol! smile.gif . Your poems are strong with words. I like all your poems the way they are smile.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Oo.Insane.oO on 2006-04-26 at 22:07:49
QUOTE(Mp)Dada @ Apr 25 2006, 10:47 AM)
I can't tell if you liked my poem or you just telling me you hate me. </3 sad.gif
[right][snapback]472420[/snapback][/right]


I hate you enough for the both of us anyways tongue.gif j/k dada your my boy

I liked the poem but like 7-7 said those arnt my thing
Report, edit, etc...Posted by JaFF on 2006-04-27 at 09:03:36
QUOTE(Mp)Dada @ Apr 27 2006, 12:54 AM)
Its kinda relating to Marrige! Like later on one of the people may make the other one hate them and they may fight alot. Then after while they all calm down and they fall in love again!
[right][snapback]473246[/snapback][/right]


as a great poet once said: "habbit replaces love after it's gone". if there was true love without a drop of egoism that will not happen.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2006-04-28 at 00:41:03
Welcome back, blu.

I'm not saying every poem doesn't have to rhyme, I'm saying that sometimes the words chosen to rhyme arn't the best. Sometimes, it leads the audience off the subject a little bit just so it could rhyme.

Really, though, it's a pretty powerful poem... as powerful as the title...

As about thing about married people getting angry with each other, that's not necessarily "hate". They've lived with each other and gotten so used to each other, they have everything to say about each other... when they get to that age, it's all they have left to remind each other why they still love each other smile.gif Their age and marriage often proves their relationship.

And...

Here's a quote from me"

"My love to you will make Time jealous."

=)
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dada on 2006-04-29 at 17:28:13
Heres another Emotion Poem! I don't think its all that great cuz some othe words I couldnt find other words to rhyme with them.

[center]Fear

Fear overcomes all
To overpower never to fall
others may surface
only to be stared down in disgrace
This evil is the only thing
that will make you go insane
the others may try to battle
but fear just laughs with wish iron saddle
these battles will end here
they all know the end was near
With one last stand
they marched like a band
the evil kings castle
for one final rastle
they will triumph over all
to watch fear fall[/center]

I think I just made some random ryhming right there.
I have no clue why i made the others fight for fear!
I noticed that "Thing" and "Insane" don't really ryhme that much. Rastle was the only thing that I could think of that could ryhme with Castle. (Rastle = a type of fighting)
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Ninebreaker on 2006-04-29 at 17:40:34
I wish i could write poems like that...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by nightmaremage99 on 2006-05-01 at 18:18:18
Thoes poems arent that good. Well but then again your all just kids. And kids writing poems has limits.

Sure, why not there just ok...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Dada on 2006-05-01 at 18:25:54
Me no kid me be 17! q8D
*cough*
I'm not a kid I'm 17 I just started writing poems so of cousrse there bad!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by nightmaremage99 on 2006-05-01 at 18:28:46
Sorry, did not know.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2006-05-02 at 00:56:26
I don't think the age limits one's ability to write. Surely, experience is vital, but arrogance, naiveness, and innocence are important as well.... most of use just forgot the perspectives we once had.

There is a fine line between skillful and novice. It's kind of like Art. What defines art? Not everything is art, it goes through a series of steps before it's rendered art or junk.

Some of these "poems" are the only ways some of us know to express in text... it can be hard for some people to express in writing and the only form most of us go first to poetry. It's a few lines of words instead of one giant essay to express how much you like someone.

It may not be the best poem, but the idea is within him. With refinement, it has potential.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Falcon_A on 2006-05-07 at 15:55:21
QUOTE
love is the opposite to hate. how can love (true love) lead to hate ?


You really wanna know?

QUOTE
  I don't think the age limits one's ability to write. Surely, experience is vital, but arrogance, naiveness, and innocence are important as well.... most of use just forgot the perspectives we once had.


I do all the time. I look back at some of my older stuff and remember how I was feeling, but I can never focus that enough or picture myself in that situation to ever write a song with that feeling again.
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