Staredit Network

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*Puts on Masterpeice Theater outfit and smokes on pipe*

Good Evening.

Tonight I'm up late being introverted and sat up and reflected on the past week or so. What I've noted is that I've begun on a habit, a pattern of thinking that I think is deterimental to myself and of no real use - and I got to wondering if any of you kind folks have ever noticed yourselves on such a plane and if so, how do you folks, when your thinking becomes unbalanced, 'balance' your train of thought back, so to speak? Also, when do you notice when your train of thought becomes unbalanced? What, if any, thoughts make you become unbalanced, etc?

Or, if perhaps you aren't of that flavor of discussion, share with us things that you often ponder about, or marvel at, or whatever![/center]

what...?

This is such a weird thread that it doesn't even deserve to have my colored text in it.

Metacognition - now this is an interesting subject.
Of course, there's been lots of times when I noticed my thoughts were detrimental. When I was younger, I never really stopped to think about self-control and the power I have over my own thoughts, or even why my thought patterns were the way they are. Fortunately, I realized things early on in my life. Taking power of your mind is one of the most important things you can do as a person. Even today, I sometimes notice myself going downhill and just going "Why am I thinking this?" and pulling myself out. Mental awareness is very important.

As for the concentration aspect, I try to avoid frustrating things. If I'm solving sort of problem or doing something I just don't want to do at the moment... I don't do it. If it isn't important, I just drop it and do something else. Those breakdowns are fun.

Weird. The thread I consider weirdest of all right now is the one where Moose posted enthusiastically.

Right now I'm mainly thinking about how upset I am with my hair trim... my bangs are too short and straight. Seriously, and I know I overreacted about it. I'm a little concieted, way more than i should be really.. and it'll probably look fine by the time prom rolls around. I hate the look of most fresh cuts anyway.

I know that's shallow, but it actually is something bothering me right now and my point is it's one of those negative ways of thinking Brandon was talkin about, and if I wasn't so obsessed with myself I wouldn't be so irritated.

Other than that, I've been looking back at all my relationships before now.. trying to find out why all of them failed at some point.

Wondering why some of the girls I dated broke up with me.

Did I do something wrong?
Were they no longer attracted to me?
If it was that.. why?
Did they just fall in love with someone else?

And sometimes why I broke up with them, now I'm asking myself..

How come we argued so much?
What changed how I thought about them?
If they asked for another chance, what would I say?

Thinking about all this because (honestly probably more than) a few girls want me to go out with them right now, and I've been in so many relationships-- failed relationships, ones that I thought could last... I mean, my longest one was 5 months.

It's hard not to feel like it's going to be a long time before I find somebody who I can actually love that really loves me back, and I hate dating around and turning people down but I don't see a future for me with anybody I know right now.

WTF?

That's when I start thinking "Why am I thinking about that?" "Why am I STILL thinking about that?!"

I suppose it's a matter of willpower or something like that. When my thought train becomes 'imbalanced', I try to get it back on track, but can never focus it right. So I sorta gotta resolve whatever I'm currently thinking about, and then go back whatever I was doing. Like today, I was writing a term paper, and all of a sudden, overcome by laziness, I'm like "ugh..." and boot up minesweeper, hearts, and then quake 3, then it's 30 minutes later and I've accomplished nothing, and the only thing that stopped me was "God damn it it's already 6 o clock, Alex, get outta this crap" and I finally went back to what I was doing, in which case it still took me forever. I find it hard to buckle down on a certain thought unless I, like, NEED to. Which really pisses me off, because it makes me suck at everything. I'm only good at starcraft when I feel really pressured and really wanna win a match, I'm only good at basketball when I focus everything I have on it...Etc.

Quite a female dog.

And about the girl/hair thing, don't feel 'conceited', it's really fine and normal dude.

And to be honest, you'll never be able to answer your questions, and although it might be hard, it'd be much easier if you just didn't ask them.

It might sound hostile, but I don't mean it to be. I just mean, you don't get anything out of it, except perhaps put yourself in a worse mood. Or if you're like me, you can't help but think about it, or you stop, and wonder if you're weak because you hold yourself back for some emotion's sake. But whatever. I'm sure your hair is s e x x y.