Staredit Network

Staredit Network -> Literature & Writing -> Hypotechno? An old SC Fan Fiction
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2006-06-22 at 20:43:49
Author's Note: Hi, even though I'm not really an Author, you should still read my note. This is based on one of my old stories I've written some times ago. And, no I won't be saying 'This is my first story, so don't flame too much' like most writers with their first fics do, but apparently, I just did! Curse myself!


[SIZE=7]HypoTechno

The war between the Terrans and the Zergs raged on; the rifles of the Marines shooting aimlessly everwhere--hitting comrades in the process; Siege Tanks being overwhelmed by Zerglings; and Ghosts being detected by the Overlords, and then slaughtered by the almighty Hydralisks.

Sergeant Fillwaters did not tolerate the fact that his men were giving up to the war. As he stood by his comrades, shooting off invaders, he would yell, "Get up! We haven't lost yet! Give up, and your friends and family will suffer!" Usually, this would boost the men's confidence, but it didn't work for a Medic and a Ghost.

"Come on, let's go! You should be handing out more Morphine!" the Sergeant shouted to the medic. "And you, Ghost, get up!" but the Medic shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. As the Sergeant went over to see what was wrong, he realized with horror.

The Ghost was mutilated, entirely--his face was ripped off, showing a skull with empty sockets where eyes should've been. One arm was ripped out of its socket, but the other look as if the bone was removed. The chest had a huge hole, from where Zerglings feasted.

"My, god..."

*****

"Hang on to your seatbelts, we're in for a rough ride!" a girlish voice blared over the intercom. "We're on a rescue mission, yessire!" As the pilot went faster than ever, most passengers were prone to throwing up, others falling to the floor besides them.

And in minutes, the dropships came to a sharp stop, and landed slowly on the ground.

The scene was littered with bodies and blood. There were barely any survivors, as the crew rushed out of the dropships to see if anyone was still alive. "Check this one!" said a Medic. The Marine that was with the Medic, oblidged and found a pulse from the body in front of them.

"This one's alive!" the Medic jumped up and down, excited that her fellow Medic was still living. Two men rushed over with a stretcher, and hauled the pretty woman onto the stretcher, and returned to the Dropship.

Unforutnately, there weren't any other survivors..

*****

The dropship once again fired with speed, and reached the Hospital in mere minutes.

As it came to a sharp stop, the crew rushed out almost immediately to bring the survivor to the Hospital. Then, the Dropship, spraying dust everywhere, flew off.

*****

In the Hospital, Doctors with their fellow Medics worked on the survivor.

They tried to revive the Medic, who evidently lost her pulse on the ride home. But, it didn't work. The Medic's body pumped up in mid-air, and landed back on the bed with no success. The heart monitors showed nothing, and no pulse was detected.

This survivor, had what was called, 'HypoTecho', a disease carried by the Zerg. It makes all signals from the body, undetectable; such a pulse of heart beat.

The Doctors finally gave up, declared the so-called-survivor dead, and was to remove her from the bed for the burial the next day.

*****

A woman woke up to find darkness, and found herself in a Hospital gown. After adding 2 and 2, she realized that her body was carried from the battlefield and to the hospital.

She cried at the thought of her dead husband, the one who fought so bravely..

But, there was no time to miss her husband. Instead, the survivor needed to find a way out of the Hospital..Unfortunately, a Guard waited outside the door.

As the survivor swiftly, and quietly, moved to open the door, the Guard heard a noise, and said, "Who's there? Is there somebody in there?" he peeked in the door, and immediately saw the Medic. "What in the bloodly hell--I thought you were dead! I need to tell everybody this!" And then he ran off, shouting, "She's ALIVE!"

"Now what?" the Medic muttered under her breath.

The End?!



ADDITION:
Come on, folks. I posted this about 3 hours ago, and yet there's no comments. There has to BE AT LEAST ONE--ONE PERSON, who read this. And if you're that person, please review, rather than reading it and skipping off. Thank you.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2006-06-23 at 01:31:40
Well, finally an actual post from you. I was just about to reply somewhere
"Templar you dumbcrap, quit posting for minerals"

The begining of the story kinda made me skip the rest. Yeah, it's bad that I'm judging based on the begining, but if that's what you're using to capture the reader's attentions, I don't want to know how else you'll try.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2006-06-23 at 03:19:29
Yes, yes, an actual post. This story reminded me of that part in Starship Troopers where Rico comes back from the first invasion in that healing tank. Hmmm, well, your grammar is something... to be improved upon. Really work on that, and maybe work on some... cripes it's late, so excuse my bluntness - logic. How could zerglings "feast" on a soldier in the middle of a fight... I guess I want to ask this: why would they stop to have a tasty little snack whenever other soldiers were firing at them? You know, just work on stuff like that (trying to make the story progress logically). Also, logical doesn't necessarily mean the most obvious choice, but characters have to do actions based on reasons (unless they don't have time to think, in which case their guess has to be logical). Also, remember that ghosts were specialists, and I doubt that they'd be found on a common battlefield. Other than that, it's good to see that people are writing. I'd suggest keeping this up.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2006-06-26 at 21:28:15
Well, I probably won't be posting any stories in this forum anymore; not only do I have barely any experience in writing stories, I don't really...like writing either.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2006-07-01 at 20:26:36
Correct me if I'm wrong, but: this was based off an story made by TerranMarine on www.starcraft.org. You could've at least told us you were basing the story off of his, rather than taking full credit.
Next Page (1)