Report, edit, etc...Posted by Cnl.Fatso on 2006-10-28 at 22:23:57
One Day - by Colonel Fatso
“You can’t be serious, Moran.”
“Yes I can, and yes I am, Hagat.”
“Impossible! This could never happen!”
“And I tell you it will. I tell you it has.”
“I think you’re off your rocker.”
“And I think you’re off your medication. What does it matter? The fact of the matter is that Earth will detonate in about a day.”
“Detonate? You said we were doomed, but--”
“Yes. Detonate. Explode. Blow up. The term itself does not matter. In 24 hours, they push a button and kaboom! Bye-bye Earth.”
“W-wait a minute. Just who are ‘they’?”
“Us. Americans. Russians. Hell, even the British are in on it.”
“Humans? We are going to destroy the world in twenty-four hours.”
“Yes. We, humans, are the final destructor of all mankind - nay, all life on Earth! And it comes tomorrow.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because I’m the one they told to push the button.”
“You? You’re just a lieutenant, barely out of flight school…”
“…and before that I was the Vice.”
“Vice President? How did you - why did you…”
“All good questions, and I have no answers. It seems some higher power is manipulating my life.”
“So what happens when you push the big red button that says ‘end the world’?”
“America, Russia, and Great Britain launch massive nuclear strikes on China and India. Over ten thousand nukes - enough to turn just about every square mile of the countries into a fresh new parking lot. Their resulting counterattack will likely destroy our civilization too.”
“Calling it civilization is somewhat of a stretch given this turn of events, but I digress. The main point is that you said Earth would explode. How do you blow it up?”
“It seems dreadfully simple to me. Do you think that more than twenty thousand nuclear warheads are going to have no effect on the Earth? It’s going to break apart from the stress.”
“Yes, there’s that, abut how do you get all that energy just from 20,000 nukes?”
“I presume, then, you haven’t heard of the Nova warhead.”
“Nova warhead? What is its yield?”
“It more powerful than the asteroid that initiated the Mesozoic extinction.”
“How many do we have?”
“One hundred of them.”
“Good Lord! One hundred? The Earth is surely doomed!”
“It begins to look like that, eh?”
“What if you refuse?”
“Then someone else pushes the button. Simple as that.”
“What if you try to stop them?”
“They shoot me and push the button anyway.”
“Then there’s no stopping it.”
“There never was any stopping it. This is Judgement Day, the end of the world.”
“So you told me this why?”
“Simple. You’ve been invited.”
“Invited?”
“To watch the end of the world with the President and myself. An Armageddon party, as it were.”
“Why?”
“Because I invited you - told the President I’d only push the button if you could come. He acquiesced rapidly.”
“And if I refuse?”
”Then I push the button without you. All I got from the President was authorization to invite you.”
“End-of-the-world party at the White House? How could I decline? See you there.”
“So it turns out quite a few more people than just myself turned out. What is this, the international end-of-the-world party?”
”Pretty much. Even the Indians and Chinese are invited - we told them, too.”
“So this is it? The world ends today?”
“The world ends in ten minutes.”
“That soon?”
“Sooner, actually. Here comes the President.”
“My friends, colleagues, officers of the corps, adversaries - this is a momentous time. We have reached the apex of our evolution now, technology is at an astounding new level; we see that we cannot go much further.
“So you ask, now, ‘Why end the world?’ Simple! We cannot allow this pressure to go on any longer, this constant fear of nuclear war. Why not get it all over with right now, and while we’re at it fuel other planets waiting for their chance at life with our own? The future beckons - and not to Earth. We are a dead-end species on a dead-end planet. There’s nowhere left to go but down; we’ll do it with a bang!
“Total nuclear war! Billions of lives terminated instantly.”
“But what does the public approve of this?”
“What they don’t know won’t hurt them - oh, yes it will, actually.
“But do not think that this is the end of humanity outright. The Outbound Project will ensure humanity’s survival on many different worlds. Earth can hold us no further. Let us find new hope in the stars.”
“How long to the push of the button?”
“Anytime you want to, Mr. Moran. After that, five minutes to total annihilation.”
“Well… there we go. Five minutes left ‘till Armageddon.”
“Mr. President?”
“Yes, Mr. Hagat?”
“That was a nice speech and all; my eyes are watering. But that’s not why we’re blowing up the world. You know it to be true.”
“Very well, what’s your take on the reasoning behind our little project here?”
“It seems simple to me. Mr. President, our country is failing, soon to be succeeded by the Chinese and Indians. This much you admitted in your recent public appearances. So why end the world now? Simple! If you can’t rule it, no one can! America simply must be the paramount nation in the world; otherwise, we just drop the bombs and blow up the whole beautiful planet. But now we can’t stop it - I’d wager the sequence is uninterruptible. And you know what? I don’t care. I know where my standing is with regards to the afterlife, and I have strong suspicions as to yours. I’ll have fun in Heaven, you can have fun in Hell.
“So, Mr. President, you can--”
“--Two minutes.”
“--end the world now, but the human race lives forever in its immortal soul. That is all.”
“Your perception is apt, but incorrect. My reasons - our reasons! - were as we stated. Earth is finished, spent. It could provide the spark of life to another planet in its destruction.”
“Oh yes, free fallout for everyone! Mars, Venus, Mercury! Get your free irradiation! Step right up, don’t be shy! Bullcrap.”
“One minute thirty seconds. You make interesting points.”
“I don’t care. Let’s just watch the Earth explode, shall we?”
“One minute.”
“I should have done more good things with my life, Commander.”
“You’ll be fine, Lieutenant. This was not your fault, not your idea.”
“Yes it was.”
“Thirty seconds.”
“Excuse me, got to talk to the President.”
“Ah, Mr. Hagat. Interesting points you made.”
“Cut the crap. I know your secret. But just for the record, I’m right about this decision, aren’t I?”
“Fifteen seconds. Yes, Mr. Hagat, you are. I cannot stand to see our great nation - our superpower! - fall to such depths. It must end now.”
“I knew it!”
“Eight…”
“I can see them now - the missiles…”
“Six…”
“…coming to erase our fatal mistake…”
“Five…”
“…and bring on a new age of prosperity for the Universe…”
“Three…”
“…for any society with nuclear weapons is…”
“One…”
“…a blight on civilizations everywhere.”
“Impact. Goodbye, cruel world--”
“You can’t be serious, Moran.”
“Yes I can, and yes I am, Hagat.”
“Impossible! This could never happen!”
“And I tell you it will. I tell you it has.”
“I think you’re off your rocker.”
“And I think you’re off your medication. What does it matter? The fact of the matter is that Earth will detonate in about a day.”
“Detonate? You said we were doomed, but--”
“Yes. Detonate. Explode. Blow up. The term itself does not matter. In 24 hours, they push a button and kaboom! Bye-bye Earth.”
“W-wait a minute. Just who are ‘they’?”
“Us. Americans. Russians. Hell, even the British are in on it.”
“Humans? We are going to destroy the world in twenty-four hours.”
“Yes. We, humans, are the final destructor of all mankind - nay, all life on Earth! And it comes tomorrow.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because I’m the one they told to push the button.”
“You? You’re just a lieutenant, barely out of flight school…”
“…and before that I was the Vice.”
“Vice President? How did you - why did you…”
“All good questions, and I have no answers. It seems some higher power is manipulating my life.”
“So what happens when you push the big red button that says ‘end the world’?”
“America, Russia, and Great Britain launch massive nuclear strikes on China and India. Over ten thousand nukes - enough to turn just about every square mile of the countries into a fresh new parking lot. Their resulting counterattack will likely destroy our civilization too.”
“Calling it civilization is somewhat of a stretch given this turn of events, but I digress. The main point is that you said Earth would explode. How do you blow it up?”
“It seems dreadfully simple to me. Do you think that more than twenty thousand nuclear warheads are going to have no effect on the Earth? It’s going to break apart from the stress.”
“Yes, there’s that, abut how do you get all that energy just from 20,000 nukes?”
“I presume, then, you haven’t heard of the Nova warhead.”
“Nova warhead? What is its yield?”
“It more powerful than the asteroid that initiated the Mesozoic extinction.”
“How many do we have?”
“One hundred of them.”
“Good Lord! One hundred? The Earth is surely doomed!”
“It begins to look like that, eh?”
“What if you refuse?”
“Then someone else pushes the button. Simple as that.”
“What if you try to stop them?”
“They shoot me and push the button anyway.”
“Then there’s no stopping it.”
“There never was any stopping it. This is Judgement Day, the end of the world.”
“So you told me this why?”
“Simple. You’ve been invited.”
“Invited?”
“To watch the end of the world with the President and myself. An Armageddon party, as it were.”
“Why?”
“Because I invited you - told the President I’d only push the button if you could come. He acquiesced rapidly.”
“And if I refuse?”
”Then I push the button without you. All I got from the President was authorization to invite you.”
“End-of-the-world party at the White House? How could I decline? See you there.”
“So it turns out quite a few more people than just myself turned out. What is this, the international end-of-the-world party?”
”Pretty much. Even the Indians and Chinese are invited - we told them, too.”
“So this is it? The world ends today?”
“The world ends in ten minutes.”
“That soon?”
“Sooner, actually. Here comes the President.”
“My friends, colleagues, officers of the corps, adversaries - this is a momentous time. We have reached the apex of our evolution now, technology is at an astounding new level; we see that we cannot go much further.
“So you ask, now, ‘Why end the world?’ Simple! We cannot allow this pressure to go on any longer, this constant fear of nuclear war. Why not get it all over with right now, and while we’re at it fuel other planets waiting for their chance at life with our own? The future beckons - and not to Earth. We are a dead-end species on a dead-end planet. There’s nowhere left to go but down; we’ll do it with a bang!
“Total nuclear war! Billions of lives terminated instantly.”
“But what does the public approve of this?”
“What they don’t know won’t hurt them - oh, yes it will, actually.
“But do not think that this is the end of humanity outright. The Outbound Project will ensure humanity’s survival on many different worlds. Earth can hold us no further. Let us find new hope in the stars.”
“How long to the push of the button?”
“Anytime you want to, Mr. Moran. After that, five minutes to total annihilation.”
“Well… there we go. Five minutes left ‘till Armageddon.”
“Mr. President?”
“Yes, Mr. Hagat?”
“That was a nice speech and all; my eyes are watering. But that’s not why we’re blowing up the world. You know it to be true.”
“Very well, what’s your take on the reasoning behind our little project here?”
“It seems simple to me. Mr. President, our country is failing, soon to be succeeded by the Chinese and Indians. This much you admitted in your recent public appearances. So why end the world now? Simple! If you can’t rule it, no one can! America simply must be the paramount nation in the world; otherwise, we just drop the bombs and blow up the whole beautiful planet. But now we can’t stop it - I’d wager the sequence is uninterruptible. And you know what? I don’t care. I know where my standing is with regards to the afterlife, and I have strong suspicions as to yours. I’ll have fun in Heaven, you can have fun in Hell.
“So, Mr. President, you can--”
“--Two minutes.”
“--end the world now, but the human race lives forever in its immortal soul. That is all.”
“Your perception is apt, but incorrect. My reasons - our reasons! - were as we stated. Earth is finished, spent. It could provide the spark of life to another planet in its destruction.”
“Oh yes, free fallout for everyone! Mars, Venus, Mercury! Get your free irradiation! Step right up, don’t be shy! Bullcrap.”
“One minute thirty seconds. You make interesting points.”
“I don’t care. Let’s just watch the Earth explode, shall we?”
“One minute.”
“I should have done more good things with my life, Commander.”
“You’ll be fine, Lieutenant. This was not your fault, not your idea.”
“Yes it was.”
“Thirty seconds.”
“Excuse me, got to talk to the President.”
“Ah, Mr. Hagat. Interesting points you made.”
“Cut the crap. I know your secret. But just for the record, I’m right about this decision, aren’t I?”
“Fifteen seconds. Yes, Mr. Hagat, you are. I cannot stand to see our great nation - our superpower! - fall to such depths. It must end now.”
“I knew it!”
“Eight…”
“I can see them now - the missiles…”
“Six…”
“…coming to erase our fatal mistake…”
“Five…”
“…and bring on a new age of prosperity for the Universe…”
“Three…”
“…for any society with nuclear weapons is…”
“One…”
“…a blight on civilizations everywhere.”
“Impact. Goodbye, cruel world--”
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Voyager7456(MM) on 2006-10-28 at 22:28:17
Wow... that was certainly an interesting little story. Good job. 
Wouldn't that be an fun job offer... getting to push the button that ends the world.
Wouldn't that be an fun job offer... getting to push the button that ends the world.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Killer_Kow(MM) on 2006-10-30 at 18:18:55
What fun!Interesting story. The style you used works well with it.
Good job.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mini Moose 2707 on 2006-10-30 at 20:55:00
This truly is one of the best things I've read in this forum.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2006-10-31 at 19:16:11
I guess! Hmmm, well it made sense at least.
However, wouldn't the guy be more concerned about his imminent death than the truth?
However, wouldn't the guy be more concerned about his imminent death than the truth?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by fm47 on 2006-11-01 at 14:05:40
Haha, that sure was fun to read. You know, I did once wonder if this is going to result from the current events...
Korea attacks a Japan > America jumps in > Chinese attack America while it's busy with the middle east and Korea > Great Britain is having tea > Canada takes over the world.
Korea attacks a Japan > America jumps in > Chinese attack America while it's busy with the middle east and Korea > Great Britain is having tea > Canada takes over the world.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Centreri on 2006-11-01 at 17:16:50
QUOTE(Mini Moose 2707 @ Oct 30 2006, 09:54 PM)
This truly is one of the best things I've read in this forum.
[right][snapback]581188[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]581188[/snapback][/right]
Awesome. Good grammar, semi-realistic scenario, and overall awesome.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Cnl.Fatso on 2006-11-01 at 20:54:39
Thank you for your kind words. Really, there are far better writers than I at other places I frequent, and I guess it rubs off a bit onto me.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Oo.Insane.oO on 2006-11-06 at 15:15:14
Interesting story too bad the end doesnt leave room for a sequel tho 
I would have been interested in seeing what happened next
I would have been interested in seeing what happened nextReport, edit, etc...Posted by green_meklar on 2006-11-06 at 19:42:10
QUOTE
Really, there are far better writers than I at other places I frequent
Am I included? Am I? Am I? *jumps up down*
Nah, I'm joking. I think you're probably better than I am.
QUOTE
I would have been interested in seeing what happened next
Well what do you think happened next?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Cnl.Fatso on 2006-11-06 at 20:34:18
Meklar, you don't count. When was the last time you wrote a story?
Last I checked, the only thing you did around the FFF and KFF was run around criticizing people's stories on minor points of physics.
Last I checked, the only thing you did around the FFF and KFF was run around criticizing people's stories on minor points of physics.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by green_meklar on 2006-11-07 at 11:33:28
QUOTE
Meklar, you don't count. When was the last time you wrote a story?
Last I checked, the only thing you did around the FFF and KFF was run around criticizing people's stories on minor points of physics.
Last I checked, the only thing you did around the FFF and KFF was run around criticizing people's stories on minor points of physics.
Aside from RPs, I only ever posted Countdown, The Eternity Mission and The Arrival. And the few people who gave me feedback said that I was a good writer but that I really needed to explain things better in my stories. :\
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)Blu on 2006-11-07 at 11:41:21
QUOTE(Cnl.Fatso @ Nov 1 2006, 07:54 PM)
Thank you for your kind words. Really, there are far better writers than I at other places I frequent, and I guess it rubs off a bit onto me.
[right][snapback]581986[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]581986[/snapback][/right]
This was written very well..Cnl..we need more[plz continue writing
]Report, edit, etc...Posted by Cnl.Fatso on 2006-11-07 at 20:37:14
I couldn't stop writing if I tried.
Well, I could, but...
Anyway, come back at the end of November. I'm writing a novel for National Novel Writing Month, and as well as Kaotic this is likely to be where I put it afterward. (Sell it? Why would I do that? It'll probably be a verbose piece of crap!)
Well, I could, but...
Anyway, come back at the end of November. I'm writing a novel for National Novel Writing Month, and as well as Kaotic this is likely to be where I put it afterward. (Sell it? Why would I do that? It'll probably be a verbose piece of crap!)