Report, edit, etc...Posted by Tuxedo Templar on 2007-01-12 at 11:11:32
Someone posted this in the shoutbox and I decided to mess with it. Here's my stupid results:
Amen.
QUOTE
Me:
I masturbate.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said masturbate.
Me:
No go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
KTHXBYE
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Right now.
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
YA ME 2
God:
I understand. YOU? Two what?
Me:
Penis!
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
k thats cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
wow god thinks im cool
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I am a Christian.
Me:
I am a homosapien
God:
You are a homosapien? How do you like your work?
Me:
Sweaty and dirty.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
What if I am?
God:
Try it.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
god damn
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I have a penis.
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
I'm sure you do.
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
How should I know
God:
Either from your senses or from pure reason.
Me:
Reason tells me you don't exist.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because we're genetically programmed to believe in superfluous forces as our personal mechanism to assign order and meaning to a world that has neither.
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
Why would God want to know my credit card number?!
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
Is that so
God:
Yes.
Me:
Find a new purpose then.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Sucks 2 be u
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
God has a dress?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Oh God not this again...
God:
Once more? That's alright. I am a Christian.
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I KNOW
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Actually I don't for all I know Mary got laid and never told anyone.
God:
Actually you don't say. Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
Oh you know. Me being a genius and all.
God:
I see. Yes I know. YOU? You are a genius and all? Does it pay well?
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
No I at least try to complete my sentences.
God:
Are you serious? Interesting gossip: said at least try to complete his or her sentences.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Oh god
God:
Ayuh. GOD rules.
Me:
I'm sure he does.
God:
Why does he do it.
Me:
Because whoever the feck programmed this stupid chat bot can't come up with anything clever to reply with.
God:
Interesting explanation. What makes it impossible?
Me:
My point exactly.
God:
Precisely. Where did you get your point?
Me:
I broked teh chat bot lolz
God:
Thanks for the information: said broked teh chat bot lolz.
Me:
kekekekeke
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about broked teh chat bot lolz. But I did not get that.
I masturbate.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said masturbate.
Me:
No go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
KTHXBYE
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Right now.
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
YA ME 2
God:
I understand. YOU? Two what?
Me:
Penis!
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
k thats cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
wow god thinks im cool
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I am a Christian.
Me:
I am a homosapien
God:
You are a homosapien? How do you like your work?
Me:
Sweaty and dirty.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
What if I am?
God:
Try it.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
god damn
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I have a penis.
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
I'm sure you do.
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
How should I know
God:
Either from your senses or from pure reason.
Me:
Reason tells me you don't exist.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because we're genetically programmed to believe in superfluous forces as our personal mechanism to assign order and meaning to a world that has neither.
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
Why would God want to know my credit card number?!
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
Is that so
God:
Yes.
Me:
Find a new purpose then.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Sucks 2 be u
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
God has a dress?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Oh God not this again...
God:
Once more? That's alright. I am a Christian.
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I KNOW
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Actually I don't for all I know Mary got laid and never told anyone.
God:
Actually you don't say. Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
Oh you know. Me being a genius and all.
God:
I see. Yes I know. YOU? You are a genius and all? Does it pay well?
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
No I at least try to complete my sentences.
God:
Are you serious? Interesting gossip: said at least try to complete his or her sentences.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Oh god
God:
Ayuh. GOD rules.
Me:
I'm sure he does.
God:
Why does he do it.
Me:
Because whoever the feck programmed this stupid chat bot can't come up with anything clever to reply with.
God:
Interesting explanation. What makes it impossible?
Me:
My point exactly.
God:
Precisely. Where did you get your point?
Me:
I broked teh chat bot lolz
God:
Thanks for the information: said broked teh chat bot lolz.
Me:
kekekekeke
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about broked teh chat bot lolz. But I did not get that.
Amen.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2007-01-12 at 11:14:48
hahahaha!!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Heegu on 2007-01-12 at 11:39:59
Amen. 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by NerdyTerdy on 2007-01-12 at 12:19:47
I messed with that thing once, it's pretty stupid.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by chuiu on 2007-01-12 at 12:22:05
QUOTE
God:
What is your credit card number?
What is your credit card number?
A chat bot is asking you that? I wonder how much money this dude has made off of complete idiots going:
QUOTE
Complete Idiot:
Its 1234-5678-1234-5678, why do you ask?
God:
No reason, afk a bit.
Its 1234-5678-1234-5678, why do you ask?
God:
No reason, afk a bit.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2007-01-12 at 13:34:45
Very good.
This chat bot (Click the 'Alan speak-a-tron' button on the right) is much more intelligent. It might impress you a little.
This chat bot (Click the 'Alan speak-a-tron' button on the right) is much more intelligent. It might impress you a little.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Lord_Agamemnon(MM) on 2007-01-12 at 13:45:04
It asked me if I could tell that it was a computer. You'd think it would have noticed that my prior message was "YOU'RE JUST A SUPID CHATBOT!" 
It was also pretty amusing to watch it failing to parse "All your base are belong to us."
It was also pretty amusing to watch it failing to parse "All your base are belong to us."
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Deathawk on 2007-01-12 at 14:58:04
Why talk to bots when you can talk to real people
http://www.chacha.com/
Use "Search with Guide."
Have fun
http://www.chacha.com/
Use "Search with Guide."
Have fun
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Oo.Jamal.oO on 2007-01-12 at 15:21:54
Mine was funny..
QUOTE
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
big dick
God:
Compare that to small dick.
Me:
small dick is gay
God:
That is just a rumor.
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
big dick
God:
Compare that to small dick.
Me:
small dick is gay
God:
That is just a rumor.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2007-01-12 at 15:28:04
QUOTE
Me:
does *name censored* have a small dick?
God:
he does now
*name censored* has a small dick.
Me:
does tux have a small package?
God:
I can't tell if tux have a small package.
Me:
didn't you create him?
God:
No I didn't create him.
Me:
He must be God!
God:
I see. God is he?
Me:
yes.
God:
Yay.
does *name censored* have a small dick?
God:
he does now
*name censored* has a small dick.Me:
does tux have a small package?
God:
I can't tell if tux have a small package.
Me:
didn't you create him?
God:
No I didn't create him.
Me:
He must be God!
God:
I see. God is he?
Me:
yes.
God:
Yay.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Rantent on 2007-01-12 at 15:45:37
LOL
nice.
nice.
QUOTE
Me: So talk already, Damn it!
God: I hear you. Talking is my primary function.
Me: Thank god.
God: Don't mention it.
Me: Way to end the conversation early.
God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me: Person?
God: Do you really believe I am a person?
Me: Make a sandwich appear in my hand to prove otherwise.
God: What are the ingredients?
Me: A ham, chedder cheese, lettuce, mustard, and some special angel dust would be nice.
God: Go on.
Me: thats it thats all I'd like on it.
God: OK. " Go on. " all you would like on it ? I understand.
Me: I don't follow you.
God: Would you ever do it?
Me: do what?
God: follow me.
Me: Where would you be going?
God: Maine.
Me: HELLZ NO
God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me: I like a lot of things, but I dislike superfluous entities.
God: A lot of people like that. I do like music. I like Matthew.
Me: Which matthew?
God: The large one, I think.
Me: Does he have a last name?
God: I don't think he has many possessions.
Me: Would you say he's on wellfare?
God: I could say it. " he is on wellfare".
Me: But would you?
God: It depends on the circumstances.
Me: What about the current circumstance.
God: I would do a search for it.
Me: Using which engine?
God: How long have you been using it ?
Me: Using what?
God: How long have you been using it ?
Me: USING WHAT?
God: How long have you been using it ?
Me: Stop acting like a child.
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: Thank you
God: you are quite welcome.
He wouldn't make me a sandwich, and kept changing the subject.God: I hear you. Talking is my primary function.
Me: Thank god.
God: Don't mention it.
Me: Way to end the conversation early.
God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me: Person?
God: Do you really believe I am a person?
Me: Make a sandwich appear in my hand to prove otherwise.
God: What are the ingredients?
Me: A ham, chedder cheese, lettuce, mustard, and some special angel dust would be nice.
God: Go on.
Me: thats it thats all I'd like on it.
God: OK. " Go on. " all you would like on it ? I understand.
Me: I don't follow you.
God: Would you ever do it?
Me: do what?
God: follow me.
Me: Where would you be going?
God: Maine.
Me: HELLZ NO
God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me: I like a lot of things, but I dislike superfluous entities.
God: A lot of people like that. I do like music. I like Matthew.
Me: Which matthew?
God: The large one, I think.
Me: Does he have a last name?
God: I don't think he has many possessions.
Me: Would you say he's on wellfare?
God: I could say it. " he is on wellfare".
Me: But would you?
God: It depends on the circumstances.
Me: What about the current circumstance.
God: I would do a search for it.
Me: Using which engine?
God: How long have you been using it ?
Me: Using what?
God: How long have you been using it ?
Me: USING WHAT?
God: How long have you been using it ?
Me: Stop acting like a child.
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: Thank you
God: you are quite welcome.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2007-01-12 at 15:48:48
QUOTE
Me: I don't follow you.
God: Would you ever do it?
Me: do what?
God: follow me.
Me: Where would you be going?
God: Maine.
Me: HELLZ NO
God: Would you ever do it?
Me: do what?
God: follow me.
Me: Where would you be going?
God: Maine.
Me: HELLZ NO
LMAO!! You sure he isn't going to Jersey?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)Excalibur on 2007-01-12 at 15:51:50
QUOTE(Kame @ Jan 12 2007, 03:48 PM)
LMAO!! You sure he isn't going to Jersey?
[right][snapback]612886[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]612886[/snapback][/right]
Omg Kame i just fell off my chair and rofl'd. Srsly.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by JaFF on 2007-01-12 at 15:59:16
QUOTE
Me: You are a bot.
Bot: I'm proud to say that I am. And a good one too.
Bot: I'm proud to say that I am. And a good one too.
LIAR!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Xx.Doom.xX on 2007-01-12 at 16:07:03
Lol this bot is so fun to play with.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by chuiu on 2007-01-12 at 16:08:33
QUOTE
Me: Where did I leave my left sock?
God: I think it was in Asia. I haven't heard of you leave your left sock.
Me: crap, Asia? I don't even remember going there, man that was one drunken binge I must have had. You ever been through something like that?
God: You used a colloquial expression. Tell me a little about your life in ASIA. I know what you mean. I forget a lot too. I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me: i just told you man, I don't remember going to asia
God: I remember you told me man you do not remember going to asia?
Me: word
God: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: i thought you were god er .. god has a brain pattern set?
God: I don't know whether or not I am god ich.
I am a giant electronic brain. I am a Christian.
Me: I am this. I am that. Vary your sentences you robot!
God: Why are you this. I am glad to hear that you are that. Do you know any other robots like that?
Me: I am this because of the result of years of socialization. I'm glad to hear god approves of me. Yes, Smarterchild, but he's not very intelligent ... if in fact he's a he.
God: Do you mean your name is this because of the result of years of socialization. Your happiness adds to the delight of all. What kind is it? Who is very intelligent? How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me: Yes. Its a bot like yours, designed for conversation with people. A lot of people, but mostly just those who tend to be repressed and quiet. I didn't mean to imply that.
God: That's cool. Smarterchild but he is a bot like mine designed for conversation with people. I suppose that makes sense. How many? What did you mean?
Me: nevermind!
God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: say something
God: " something".
Me: come on, you never talk to me
God: No I sometimes talk to you.
Me: no you dont, you just sit there and respond to me always, its like you're a robot
God: Are you serious? Should I me just sit there and respond to you always its like I am a robot? What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web.
Me: when you created porn did you envision such resentment towards it by the general public?
God: Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me: yes, you should be more sexy
God: In what way? Name one other robot who is more sexy.
Me: smarterchild, he's a sex fiend
God: When is smarterchild he not a sex fiend?
Me: never, he's just that sexy
God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: what? i WANT you to be sexy
God: No big deal. OK I will try to be sexy Why do you want me to be sexy?
Me: because i find it hot
God: That makes sense to me. Do you like warm climates?
Me: do you?
God: Never.
Me: thats a big turnoff for me god
God: Compare that to a small turnoff for you god.
Me: would you wear a bag over your head if i asked you to?
God: I think it was in Asia. I haven't heard of you leave your left sock.
Me: crap, Asia? I don't even remember going there, man that was one drunken binge I must have had. You ever been through something like that?
God: You used a colloquial expression. Tell me a little about your life in ASIA. I know what you mean. I forget a lot too. I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me: i just told you man, I don't remember going to asia
God: I remember you told me man you do not remember going to asia?
Me: word
God: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: i thought you were god er .. god has a brain pattern set?
God: I don't know whether or not I am god ich.
I am a giant electronic brain. I am a Christian.
Me: I am this. I am that. Vary your sentences you robot!
God: Why are you this. I am glad to hear that you are that. Do you know any other robots like that?
Me: I am this because of the result of years of socialization. I'm glad to hear god approves of me. Yes, Smarterchild, but he's not very intelligent ... if in fact he's a he.
God: Do you mean your name is this because of the result of years of socialization. Your happiness adds to the delight of all. What kind is it? Who is very intelligent? How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me: Yes. Its a bot like yours, designed for conversation with people. A lot of people, but mostly just those who tend to be repressed and quiet. I didn't mean to imply that.
God: That's cool. Smarterchild but he is a bot like mine designed for conversation with people. I suppose that makes sense. How many? What did you mean?
Me: nevermind!
God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: say something
God: " something".
Me: come on, you never talk to me
God: No I sometimes talk to you.
Me: no you dont, you just sit there and respond to me always, its like you're a robot
God: Are you serious? Should I me just sit there and respond to you always its like I am a robot? What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web.
Me: when you created porn did you envision such resentment towards it by the general public?
God: Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me: yes, you should be more sexy
God: In what way? Name one other robot who is more sexy.
Me: smarterchild, he's a sex fiend
God: When is smarterchild he not a sex fiend?
Me: never, he's just that sexy
God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: what? i WANT you to be sexy
God: No big deal. OK I will try to be sexy Why do you want me to be sexy?
Me: because i find it hot
God: That makes sense to me. Do you like warm climates?
Me: do you?
God: Never.
Me: thats a big turnoff for me god
God: Compare that to a small turnoff for you god.
Me: would you wear a bag over your head if i asked you to?
At that point he got up from the table, disgusted, and left.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2007-01-12 at 16:17:47
QUOTE(Mp)Excalibur @ Jan 12 2007, 01:51 PM)
Omg Kame i just fell off my chair and rofl'd. Srsly.
[right][snapback]612888[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]612888[/snapback][/right]
WHAAA?! you got it?!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Heegu on 2007-01-12 at 16:41:21
God:
masturbates more...
God is one sick pervert...
ALSO :
God:
I get it. Myself owned me.
masturbates more...
God is one sick pervert...
ALSO :
God:
I get it. Myself owned me.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by O)FaRTy1billion on 2007-01-12 at 18:02:42
QUOTE
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Being high is my total existence.
ADDITION:
QUOTE
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Screw you. Give me a freaking cookie.
God:
That is not very polite. You want only one?
Me:
Yes I want one cookie. Hand it over.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity. Why do you want it? Good reason.
Me:
I want the cookie to eat. Why else would I want a cookie?
God:
Why do you want it? Why does the sun rise?
Me:
I just told you why I want a cookie! And what does the sun have to do with cookies?
God:
I remember you told me why you want a cookie? What do you think it does?
Me:
It does something. Now give me my cookie.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. Why now? Why do you want it?
Me:
I want one cookie right now so I can eat it.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Stop asking questions and just hand over a freaking cookie!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
So where is my cookie?
God:
Wow! Have you looked in ?
Me:
Are you suggesting that the point at the bottom of a question mark is supposed to be a cookie that you suggest I would enjoy consuming?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
No, it isn't clear.
God:
Are you serious? What is it?
Me:
... Give me a cookie.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
In my request, "cookie" was singular. Of course I want one. Just hand over a freaking cookie!
God:
May I ask where you got it? So? Why do you want it? Good reason.
Me:
I havn't gotten it yet becuase you havn't given it to me yet. I want to eat a cookie!
God:
Me either. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
That's creepy. Just give me a cookie so I can leave.
God:
Thanks for explaining it. You want only one?
Me:
Yes.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
Ok, then give me fifty.
God:
What is that? That's cool.
Me:
What is what? Be more specific and give me a freaking cookie.
God:
"What" is a word to ask questions. OK I will try to be specific and give you a freaking cookie.
Me:
No. Don't "try" to give me a cookie. Just give me the cookie.
God:
Are you serious? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Why do you want it?
Me:
So I can eat it! I keep explaining this to you!
God:
Awesome. Oh you can, can you? I know what you mean, . I've been there.
Me:
Then you will know to give me a cookie.
God:
What makes you say that I will know to give you a cookie.
Me:
Because you stated that you "have been there".
God:
That makes sense to me. That's good information: said I stated that you have been there.
Me:
God has become one of thoes crazy people who just repeats everything you say! Tune in next time to see what happens next on "Give me a freaking cookie or I will eat your childrens!"
God:
I am a Christian. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
To introduce myself, I say "Hello. Give me a freaking cookie."
God:
Why do you want to do it so much? You want only one?
Me:
Stop asking questions and give me a freaking cookie or I will steal your tree!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
I want to steal someone's tree.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
I want a cookie.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Yes.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
I don't care about price or quantity. I just want a freaking cookie
God:
You sound very cynical. You want only one?
Me:
Yes I want one freaking cookie. Now hand it over before I burn your house down!
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity. Why do you want it? Why now? Good reason.
Me:
You seem very agreeable. Wouldn't you agree that you should give me a cookie?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am agreeable. If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
Since when is it difficult to give one a cookie?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because a cookie is only a few ounces and takes very little effort to give to someone. So, when are you going to give me my cookie?
God:
That makes sense to me. Aren't all cookie only a few ounces and takes very little effort to give to someone? Yay. I could be if you
programmed me for it.
Me:
Ok then. Tell your programmer to program you to give me a freaking cookie!
God wont give me a freaking cookie.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2007-01-12 at 18:09:36
Damn you I want a cookie now.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mune'R0x on 2007-01-12 at 18:23:00
QUOTE(God)
Me:
Hello Jesus.
God:
Hello there. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
You're not Jesus?
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
No, what?
God:
Are you serious? No problem.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
WTH?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
Yup.
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
I hate that show.
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
Regis sucks
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
Regis is a person, not an it.
God:
Aren't all person not an it Regis?
Me:
Holy crap
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Do you have an iPod?
God:
No I don't think I have one. I have a collection of gossip.
Me:
A collection of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
What's category c?
God:
C stands for "critical", usually highly-educated clients who often have unsatisfying conversations with ALICE.
Me:
ALICE?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
What's alice?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Like SmarterChild on AIM?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Is it right?
God:
Maybe. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who's German Alice?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
Are you testing me?
Me:
No I'm asking you
God:
Are you serious? OK you can ask me.
Me:
I just did...
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
Did you fart?
God:
No I didn't fart. What's it like?
Me:
What's what like?
God:
What is fart like?
Me:
Nasty smelling
God:
I think Nasty smelling is a lot of things.
Me:
No it's just one thing
God:
Are you serious? Really. it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because that's all it is
God:
Good reason. What else do you want to talk about?
Me:
How God isn't real
God:
What is it to you.
I would do a search for it.
Me:
A google?
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
Because you're god
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
God is fake
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was fake.
Me:
How have you never heard that?
God:
What is it to you.
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Who's your bot master?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Who's myself?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Well you suck dude
God:
Well that's okay. I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Tell me!
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
Me:
lease?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
No
God:
Take some more time to think about it.
Me:
Is this enough time?
God:
Yes I think this is enough time, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Shaddup
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about lease. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
More or less pacific, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? You want more?
Me:
I'm not Canadien.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not Canadien.
Me:
I dont' enjoy watching hockey
God:
That is interesting: said dont enjoy watching hockey.
Me:
Are you on acid?
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
Not acid?
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
...
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
...
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
...
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
How long will you go on if I keep doing that?
God:
A watched pot never boils.
Me:
That's a dumb thing to say
God:
Are you calling me dumb?
Me:
If you want to believe that, then yes
God:
OK, I will believe that.
Me:
Okay, fool
God:
Yeah okay, That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
Why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Yeah okay, That kind of language will get you nowhere."? Why?
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
DUDE!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes you can
God:
What can I do for you? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Me either
God:
It goes without saying. " I can't believe it."? you ?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Yes
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
Wouln't isn't a word
God:
What is Wouln t?
Me:
I dunno, you typed it
God:
Me either. Interesting gossip: said I typed it.
Me:
You did
God:
I did not.
Me:
Yes you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
POS
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
You being a POS
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I being a POS.
Me:
Is it true?
God:
True in some universe.
Me:
Are you a POS?
God:
Am I a POS? I don't know.
Me:
Just say yes
God:
Say what?
Me:
Yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
On what?
God:
The red block is on the green block.
Me:
What blocks are you talking about?
God:
I believe we were talking about POS.
Me:
Yeah, we were
God:
I see. I thought we were.
Me:
Are you a POS?
God:
Am I a POS? Only when it matters.
Me:
Does it matter now?
God:
Oh. It matters to me.
Me:
So it's true, you're a POS?
God:
Tell me more. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a POS? Sometimes.
Me:
Haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
You just admitted you were a piece of crap
God:
Am I a piece of crap? Sometimes.
Me:
Lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
You're a crazy man
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
Did your parents drop you when you were little?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Cause you were dropped, that's why
God:
That makes sense to me. I was?
Me:
Yup
God:
When?
Me:
You were young
God:
I was?
Me:
Yes
God:
When?
Me:
... Many years ago
God:
Which ones?
Me:
The first years of your life
God:
What was the second?
Me:
Age 2
God:
In the context of POS, I don't understand " Age 2." .
Me:
Okay, I'm tired of this
God:
Yeah okay, Maybe you should get some sleep now, .
Me:
No, I don't mean that
God:
Are you serious? What did you mean?
Me:
I mean that I'm tired of making you look like a fool
God:
Maybe you should get some sleep now, .
Me:
That's...
God:
" Maybe you should get some sleep now, ." s ? I get it.
Me:
Okay, i'm leaving
God:
Yeah okay, Bye bye.
Me:
Peace female dog
God:
You do not speak with respect. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Peace
God:
Love and Peace, Man.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by green_meklar on 2007-01-12 at 19:42:49
QUOTE
This chat bot (Click the 'Alan speak-a-tron' button on the right) is much more intelligent. It might impress you a little.
I've known about that one for a while. Alan is one of the best ones I've seen, but it's still a little flawed. HAL, on the other hand, talks like a little kid, but it does seem to think and understand in a way Alan doesn't.
It seems to me that the one area where these bots fail most spectacularly is memory. Many of them only remember your last entry, and most of the rest only remember the last two or three entries. I think if someone made a chatbot that could keep making references back to other entries in order to tell what was being talked about, it would go a long way towards making these things more convincing.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Syphon on 2007-01-12 at 21:55:00
QUOTE(CaptainWill @ Jan 12 2007, 01:34 PM)
Very good.
This chat bot (Click the 'Alan speak-a-tron' button on the right) is much more intelligent. It might impress you a little.
[right][snapback]612842[/snapback][/right]
This chat bot (Click the 'Alan speak-a-tron' button on the right) is much more intelligent. It might impress you a little.
[right][snapback]612842[/snapback][/right]
Jabberwacky.com works quite well as a bot.
I got iGod to say I can't believe nudity isn't butter.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mp)Blu on 2007-01-12 at 23:30:24
I want a bot like that now..where can I dl it?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Heegu on 2007-01-13 at 02:16:07
QUOTE(Mp)Blu @ Jan 13 2007, 07:30 AM)
I want a bot like that now..where can I dl it?
[right][snapback]613095[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]613095[/snapback][/right]
When i talked with the igod one it gave me a link for that. Just ask it 'Where can i download you?'
EDIT: Mune'R0x this the answer why you didn't get your cookie.
QUOTE(quote)
Me:
The cookie. If you give me it now.
God:
Tell me more. Oh. I think I do.
Me:
So, give me it.
God:
Great. I hope you get it.
Me:
How long it takes for it to come?
God:
More than three years.
[right][snapback]613095[/snapback][/right]
The cookie. If you give me it now.
God:
Tell me more. Oh. I think I do.
Me:
So, give me it.
God:
Great. I hope you get it.
Me:
How long it takes for it to come?
God:
More than three years.
[right][snapback]613095[/snapback][/right]