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Staredit Network -> Literature & Writing -> Dick Steel's B-Day!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Legend on 2007-01-15 at 13:42:21
Dick is a die-hard SC-gamer, and already for years has his nights been filled with zealot rushes, fast muta, and reaver drops, so the so called "life" has been a bit off. But today is Dicks 18th birthday, and Dick had decided to go and celebrate it to a popular place! Dick is going alone, ofcourse, because all his friends either speak korean or are considerably underaged friends and even his girlfriend, who really disturbed his gaming a few years back, is long gone now.

Dick steps inside to the restaurant and looks around a bit. First he looks if there's anyone he knows:

/friends list

Doesn't look like there is. Dick goes to the bartender and orders a beer

/whisper bartender one big

While carefully sipping the beer Dick's comsat station scans the surrounding the more beatiful-sex representing people. It's been long time since Dick has been so long aparat from starcraft, and that has really been long time since Dick has seen the more beautiful sex, but maybe this night will be different. While the night is young it doesn't look like there are many gamers around, the descriptions Sex-field only says "M" or "yes-plz", so it looks like people here are lacking something our SC-gosu does too.

Maybe its time to raise some attention:

*Legend is famous Starcraft gosu!!11!!
*Legend is famous Starcraft gosu!!11!!
*Legend is famous Starcraft gosu!!11!!

No effect. "I wonder what I did wrong", Dick pondered, they say it works in korea atleast... Dick quiets down and continues to drink a beer or two without noticing. The amount of gamers is starting to rise, but the social catastrophy Dick Steel doesn't dare to make a impression, but waits and lets the alcohol to get into his head.

For Dicks luck there comes a young-ish Female, Leila, a reallifes Kerrigan! As a strickt gamer Dick Steel checks Leilas information right away:

/whois Leila
/stats leila

Leila is warming up our already really drunk gamer, and it's time for Dick to make a impression for his companion:

/whisper leila I'm a 1337 SC-gosuXxx, my stats are 6500-40-500, even tho hey, statz meanz nothin.
/whisper leila and my apm is 180++ if I'm going all out, and I even got to obs Boxers game once!

Dick Steel's siege tank is slowly going to siege mode, and Leila is ready stuff too. It's time to move to a more calm surrounding. As a rich kid Dick orders a Taxi, he won 1000$ in the WCG afterall. In the apartment they're taking off some clothers and start to get ready for the real stuff

Leila has joined the game.
Leila: no rush 15 min
Dick: L0l you n00b
Dick: How've you gathered those stats? T_T OMG!

As a real gamer Dick Steel starts to get through it. APM is already 180, and so it was, that already in 3 minute mark are zerglings already in base. Although Leila has something to say about that too:

Leila: Damn a n00b like you, you can't do anything but rush!
Dick Steel: gg no re happy.gif

Dick turns away and falls asleep.

Dick Steel was dropped from the game

In the morning Dick wakes up to a horrible feeling and rushes to the toilet and throws dark-swarm over. His head clear now and feet shaking Dick goes back around the bed, where isn't a kerrigan at all, but rather a Ultralisk. That's what alcohol does for you. Dick must get rid of the ultra and there's suddenly the danger that Dick's tank wont ever go to siege mode again.

Dick Steel> /kick leila

before leaving, Leila whines for Dick if they could still meet

Leila> /f add Dick Steel

"No way in censored.gif, ...I'm going to play SC!"

The End! pinch.gif



You Really love me? GIMME MINERALS! wink.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Oo.Insane.oO on 2007-01-15 at 13:44:58
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Legend on 2007-01-15 at 13:52:42
any comments?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Centreri on 2007-01-15 at 14:05:41
Unrealistic, uninteresting, needlessly personified... words fail me.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by S)T-Twitch6000 on 2007-01-15 at 14:14:14
Dude if you are that much into starcraft just go die atleast i am not playing starcraft so much on my b-day which is today.You need to suspend your self sometime geez.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Chef on 2007-01-15 at 14:54:47
I thought it was kinda funny, but your writing needs work.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Doodle77(MM) on 2007-01-15 at 15:53:02
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Corbo(MM) on 2007-01-16 at 11:38:32
If you ask me yes, I always do "/f list" When I arrive to a place happy.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Legend on 2007-01-17 at 00:24:37
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Felagund on 2007-01-24 at 22:20:30
Is he Korean?

Witness the rape of the English language.

$5 a viewing, here.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Rantent on 2007-01-25 at 14:42:36
So I think this is about sex... I don't really know for sure, but at any rate it is utter spam.
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