Report, edit, etc...Posted by Neiji on 2004-09-02 at 20:55:38
Okay... okay... my Blazing Fang topic got WAY down the list, so i could revive it... so i decided to make a new topic, cept I'm making a movie for better understanding about the RPG. Here's the basic story:
In the land of Tyrglacia, there was a legend that A Dragon called Gakrouso, a dragon was born by the Greed and Hatred of people. The greed of people was so strong that the Dragon became invincible. The Dragon was released into reality and terrorized humans endlessly. Soon, even other species like Elves were being killed. A legendary warrior named Shugon stepped up and decided to destroy this evil. Of course, he was no match for the Godly Dragon. He assembled an Army of Humans to battle the mighty dragon. The battle was at the Holy Temple now known as the Tower of the Dead. They fought for days without rest at the Temple. Shugon, the mighty warrior soon charged at the dragon with many other men. The soldiers fighting with him died horribly, but Shugon, injured still charged with might. The Dragon injured him badly by breaking his bones, but he kept on going. The others kept charging, but they died quickly. After many days, Shugon found out the Dragon's weakness. It was the fangs of the Dragon that gave it its power. One fang of fire, that represented the Evil of Humans, and one fang of Ice, which represented the Cold Hearts of Humans. He broke them both off eventually and the Dragon turned into stone. Without the power of the fang, the Dragon was powerless. Now, 20 years later, the same Statue of the Dragon is on the Ancient Ruin called the Tower of the Dead, given its name by the honor of the Brave men who fought to protect Mankind. Now, Shugon, now about to die, gave the Fang of Ice to his son for protection. But, the Fang of Fire was left to his Grandson. In honor of the great battle, he named his Grandson Firefang. It was then that old wounds of the battle began to show up and soon, Shugon died. Horrified by his Father's death, Firefang's Father, Stilkou ran away from home, and left Firefang an orphan at the age of 7. Now, ten years later, the RPG Begins, as a Robber sneaks into his house.
Edit: OMG I thought ppl would give some suggestions or something... at least comments...
In the land of Tyrglacia, there was a legend that A Dragon called Gakrouso, a dragon was born by the Greed and Hatred of people. The greed of people was so strong that the Dragon became invincible. The Dragon was released into reality and terrorized humans endlessly. Soon, even other species like Elves were being killed. A legendary warrior named Shugon stepped up and decided to destroy this evil. Of course, he was no match for the Godly Dragon. He assembled an Army of Humans to battle the mighty dragon. The battle was at the Holy Temple now known as the Tower of the Dead. They fought for days without rest at the Temple. Shugon, the mighty warrior soon charged at the dragon with many other men. The soldiers fighting with him died horribly, but Shugon, injured still charged with might. The Dragon injured him badly by breaking his bones, but he kept on going. The others kept charging, but they died quickly. After many days, Shugon found out the Dragon's weakness. It was the fangs of the Dragon that gave it its power. One fang of fire, that represented the Evil of Humans, and one fang of Ice, which represented the Cold Hearts of Humans. He broke them both off eventually and the Dragon turned into stone. Without the power of the fang, the Dragon was powerless. Now, 20 years later, the same Statue of the Dragon is on the Ancient Ruin called the Tower of the Dead, given its name by the honor of the Brave men who fought to protect Mankind. Now, Shugon, now about to die, gave the Fang of Ice to his son for protection. But, the Fang of Fire was left to his Grandson. In honor of the great battle, he named his Grandson Firefang. It was then that old wounds of the battle began to show up and soon, Shugon died. Horrified by his Father's death, Firefang's Father, Stilkou ran away from home, and left Firefang an orphan at the age of 7. Now, ten years later, the RPG Begins, as a Robber sneaks into his house.
Edit: OMG I thought ppl would give some suggestions or something... at least comments...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Neiji on 2004-09-04 at 11:08:17
Please give Feedback...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by EruIluvatar on 2004-09-04 at 12:05:05
OK I will give you some feedback, shame on the rest of you! Ok well your story sounds alright, except the battle part. You have the men charging him and fighting him for days at the temple, and then eventually Shugon keeps going even though his bones are broken. You can't make broken limbs work with your will alone. Soooo, maybe you should have something like this. The Dragon himself used the power streaming into him from humans to spawn little minions of some sort, and then you have a battle.
Moving on, the story ignores the dragon later on, when the robber sneaks into his house. Now, from reading it, I infer that the robber is gonna try and steal the fangs and bring the dragon back to life? If so, then the story needs to mention that, because otherwise its like, ok there is a dragon he came he fought he conquered he died, and now the son of the hero who killed him has a robber in his house. It just doesn't seem very coherent to me, maybe it will appear better to others, but since you asked for opinions.
Moving on, the story ignores the dragon later on, when the robber sneaks into his house. Now, from reading it, I infer that the robber is gonna try and steal the fangs and bring the dragon back to life? If so, then the story needs to mention that, because otherwise its like, ok there is a dragon he came he fought he conquered he died, and now the son of the hero who killed him has a robber in his house. It just doesn't seem very coherent to me, maybe it will appear better to others, but since you asked for opinions.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Lo[S]eR on 2004-09-04 at 13:41:43
That sounded like the whole story.. not the beginning. The part where his father ran away and stuff was kinda wierd.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by ShadowSnipe4 on 2004-09-04 at 13:45:30
I agree the father running away part was weird but the overall story was ok.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Neiji on 2004-09-04 at 22:25:46
Okay, it will be revealed, but I'll tell u anyways
So, he kills the bandit that sneaked into his house, but he doesn't know why he wanted the Fang. All he thought it was was a box, because he never opened it. He wanted to see the town elder, Mr. Guymer. When he gets to the town, there are many Bandits there. He runs into the house of Mr. Guymer, but he is held hostage by Nogiashu, the High Bandit. He asks for the fang, or else he will kill Mr. Guymer. Firefang refuses, but swears if Nogishu lays one finger on him, he will kill him. Nogiashu doesn't believe such nonsense, and just decides to kill him. He pushes away Mr. Guymer aside and charges for Firefang. This battle becomes Boss Battle 1 in the map. Firefang defeats him (hopefully you do in the map) and then he asks Mr. Guymer if he's all right. The old man is hurt a little, but he is okay. All of a sudden, an arrow slices through Mr. Guymer's chest and then he instantly dies. A bandit walks out of the shadows toward Firefang and asks for the Fang. Firefang refuses and asks him why he killed Mr. Guymer. The Bandit reveals his name, which turns out to be Laurgon. He is the leader of all the bandits and tells him about the secret of the Blazing Fang. He tells him about the battle (The Battle above). The Bandits outside started to burn down Mr. Guymer's house, so Laurgon and Firefang runs out before the house burned down. Laurgon finished his story, and told him that he was trying to revive the Dragon, Gakrouso to slay the dragon. He tells him that if he would slay the Dragon, he would have the power of the dragon. This would cause Laurgon to be immortal. Firefang thinks this is plain evil, but Laurgon said he would use this power to stop the pollution of Earth. He could help the earth be a clean, peaceful place once again. Firefang bought the fake story, because Laurgon seemed very convincing. Laurgon said he had to go, and would meet him at the Tower of the Dead, where the statue of the Dragon was. This is as far as I got in the story, and the map.
So, he kills the bandit that sneaked into his house, but he doesn't know why he wanted the Fang. All he thought it was was a box, because he never opened it. He wanted to see the town elder, Mr. Guymer. When he gets to the town, there are many Bandits there. He runs into the house of Mr. Guymer, but he is held hostage by Nogiashu, the High Bandit. He asks for the fang, or else he will kill Mr. Guymer. Firefang refuses, but swears if Nogishu lays one finger on him, he will kill him. Nogiashu doesn't believe such nonsense, and just decides to kill him. He pushes away Mr. Guymer aside and charges for Firefang. This battle becomes Boss Battle 1 in the map. Firefang defeats him (hopefully you do in the map) and then he asks Mr. Guymer if he's all right. The old man is hurt a little, but he is okay. All of a sudden, an arrow slices through Mr. Guymer's chest and then he instantly dies. A bandit walks out of the shadows toward Firefang and asks for the Fang. Firefang refuses and asks him why he killed Mr. Guymer. The Bandit reveals his name, which turns out to be Laurgon. He is the leader of all the bandits and tells him about the secret of the Blazing Fang. He tells him about the battle (The Battle above). The Bandits outside started to burn down Mr. Guymer's house, so Laurgon and Firefang runs out before the house burned down. Laurgon finished his story, and told him that he was trying to revive the Dragon, Gakrouso to slay the dragon. He tells him that if he would slay the Dragon, he would have the power of the dragon. This would cause Laurgon to be immortal. Firefang thinks this is plain evil, but Laurgon said he would use this power to stop the pollution of Earth. He could help the earth be a clean, peaceful place once again. Firefang bought the fake story, because Laurgon seemed very convincing. Laurgon said he had to go, and would meet him at the Tower of the Dead, where the statue of the Dragon was. This is as far as I got in the story, and the map.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Moogle on 2004-09-04 at 22:27:49
Sounds cool, i already played your map i think you posted a version of it on forums. I found it pretty fun. ^_^ very nice map wif nice effects in battle. Gj so far Johnznothere78.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Neiji on 2004-09-04 at 22:30:16
Thanks, but it got really screwed up, and the battles got WAY out of order... Podfedjay will send me an older version...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Moogle on 2004-09-04 at 22:35:46
Wow, sounds like you had lots conflict in your map with stuff. ^_^
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Neiji on 2004-09-04 at 22:55:34
Didn't know this, but you can double post i guess...