Report, edit, etc...Posted by Helios on 2004-12-19 at 21:54:23
QUOTE
Does Santa Exist?
Is There a Santa Clause?
1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)
2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
Is There a Santa Clause?
1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)
2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
LMAO I dont think ive ever laughed so hard.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-12-19 at 21:57:57
Welcome to the real world.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by High on 2004-12-19 at 22:17:38
Lmao
Report, edit, etc...Posted by EzDay281 on 2004-12-19 at 22:21:21
ROFL.
That was getting funny as
at the end.
That was getting funny as
at the end.Report, edit, etc...Posted by Mr.Camo on 2004-12-19 at 23:30:36
Santa has some reindeer that grew up near a nuclear wasteplant.
But, Santa is probably so lazy right now he just presses a remote to deliever all the present, me and my childish self still believe in him (I mean please, would my mother stay up till 3:00 AM to put my presents out by the fire?!?)
But, Santa is probably so lazy right now he just presses a remote to deliever all the present, me and my childish self still believe in him (I mean please, would my mother stay up till 3:00 AM to put my presents out by the fire?!?)
Report, edit, etc...Posted by DT_Battlekruser on 2004-12-19 at 23:34:29
Or, like it says in Artemis Fowl, Santa uses unheardof technology to put a extra-long time stop over the world and delievers his presents at a leisurely rate.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by EzDay281 on 2004-12-19 at 23:35:35
I love those books.
Err..
Would that be from the third book?
I don't remembetr that in first or second...
Err..
Would that be from the third book?
I don't remembetr that in first or second...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by notnuclearrabbit on 2004-12-20 at 00:04:02
Oh.. My... God... That's hilarious! I almost died when I read that. 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by DT_Battlekruser on 2004-12-20 at 01:00:09
QUOTE(EzDay2 @ Dec 19 2004, 08:35 PM)
I love those books.
Err..
Would that be from the third book?
I don't remembetr that in first or second...
[right][snapback]112462[/snapback][/right]
Err..
Would that be from the third book?
I don't remembetr that in first or second...
[right][snapback]112462[/snapback][/right]
The original (I think) > The legend of San D'Klass (the guy who had warlocks do a time stop while they gave gift to Mud Men, but the Mud Men only got more greedy, etc etc etc.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Shadow-Ninja on 2004-12-20 at 01:25:53
QUOTE(Mr.Camo @ Dec 20 2004, 12:30 AM)
Santa has some reindeer that grew up near a nuclear wasteplant.
But, Santa is probably so lazy right now he just presses a remote to deliever all the present, me and my childish self still believe in him (I mean please, would my mother stay up till 3:00 AM to put my presents out by the fire?!?)
[right][snapback]112457[/snapback][/right]
But, Santa is probably so lazy right now he just presses a remote to deliever all the present, me and my childish self still believe in him (I mean please, would my mother stay up till 3:00 AM to put my presents out by the fire?!?)
[right][snapback]112457[/snapback][/right]
my mom stays up till about 3 am every morning and works till about 5 at night lol
but yea, that was funny to read, raindear exploding lol
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Paella on 2004-12-20 at 05:55:09
Maybe the reindeer have extra-tough hides to absorb the heat.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kow on 2004-12-20 at 06:35:11
Its MAGIC! He uses MAGIC!
Report, edit, etc...Posted by .Coko[CK] on 2004-12-20 at 07:38:27
Nonsense, your all missing the obvious one.
Santa is plural, and there are many.
Santa is plural, and there are many.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Replicated on 2004-12-21 at 13:52:25
All of you are wrong. Santa's existence will be proven when astronauts reach pluto because he lives there and uses a super fast ship that looks like reindeer and a sleigh to deliver presents and then he shoots anyone who sees him with a special gun that makes people forget stuff and then hes goes back to pluto
Report, edit, etc...Posted by SA_Max71 on 2004-12-21 at 15:17:19
QUOTE
5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
I feel sorry for the reindeer. I don't feel sorry for santa, with all that fat working as a shield
Thankfully this doesn't happen, otherwise a armageddon would happen every christmas 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Spirit of the Silent on 2004-12-21 at 15:18:56
LMAO-ROFL hilarious. But, you forgot (as stated above) the Book named
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. In this book Santa has the ability to slow down time..
Who knows whats out there?? Just because we've mapped out the surface of earth doesn't mean we are watching everything..
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. In this book Santa has the ability to slow down time..
Who knows whats out there?? Just because we've mapped out the surface of earth doesn't mean we are watching everything..
Report, edit, etc...Posted by MapUnprotector on 2004-12-21 at 15:33:27
Lol you need math do disprove santa? I just like to use a thing called common sense 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by PwnPirate on 2004-12-21 at 15:39:26
You know... What if santa secretly tells all parents in the world to deliver the presents to thier kids FOR him? eh? EH?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by High on 2004-12-21 at 15:45:39
Have a kid and find out
Report, edit, etc...Posted by SA_Max71 on 2004-12-21 at 16:00:27
QUOTE(High @ Dec 21 2004, 12:45 PM)
Have a kid and find out
[right][snapback]113115[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]113115[/snapback][/right]
why would you need a young goat to find that out?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by PwnPirate on 2004-12-21 at 16:00:28
QUOTE
Have a kid and find out
I already have five, all of em have different moms.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Replicated on 2004-12-21 at 19:14:14
Once you have a kid you will be a parent and will be able to find out if he does tell you to do that.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2004-12-21 at 21:03:27
DT, did you get the Artemis Fowl thing from my post a while ago about Santa? I said the exact same thing.....
Report, edit, etc...Posted by DT_Battlekruser on 2004-12-22 at 11:59:31
No, i wasn't even reading that thread.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2004-12-23 at 16:40:21
Let's say Santa slowed time then. If he didn't have to return to where he started for another load of presents (his sleigh and reindeer in this model take a helluva lot of weight). let's say it took about 5 minutes (in Santa time) to land, shove himself down a chimney (assuming he can compress himself like a rodent) or radiator pipe thing (I dunno what the pipe is, but some have it, a stove pipe type thing), then find his way around in the dark to put out presents, climn up a chimney, then fly to another house, it would take about 249522000 minutes to deliver presents (if I did the math right...). I don't know how long the Santa myth has existed, but let's say he supposedly came into existemce in the year 1000. We break his delivering time into 2373.687... years (once again, if I did the math right....). So every year, he spends that much time delivering presents while time is stopped. So... a few statements.
I would get really really bored doing that for so long, get a year of time off (he could slow time for longer though I guess), then do it again.
Supposedly, he ahs done it 1004 times (in two days it will be that number). So we have the yearly number times 1004 for each year, then add 1004 for every normal year assuming he doesn't slow time for longer breaks. Santa is now 2,384,185.963... years old. Over 2 million years old, most of that time wasted to put presents in socks. Santa looks like a corpse, he has really frigging severe diabetes and heart disease from all that fat, and he has strong alzheimers. Just thought this would be very interesting to note...
Conclusion
Santa is at minimum 2,384,185.963... years old
Santa is very sick and has a helluva lot of strong illnesses
He must take a lot longer though unless his reindeer lived to be 2 million years old, which doesn't happen with our grounded reindeer.
SO, for replacement time, he would be about 7 or 8 million years old, making him look even more decrepit.
I would get really really bored doing that for so long, get a year of time off (he could slow time for longer though I guess), then do it again.
Supposedly, he ahs done it 1004 times (in two days it will be that number). So we have the yearly number times 1004 for each year, then add 1004 for every normal year assuming he doesn't slow time for longer breaks. Santa is now 2,384,185.963... years old. Over 2 million years old, most of that time wasted to put presents in socks. Santa looks like a corpse, he has really frigging severe diabetes and heart disease from all that fat, and he has strong alzheimers. Just thought this would be very interesting to note...
Conclusion
Santa is at minimum 2,384,185.963... years old
Santa is very sick and has a helluva lot of strong illnesses
He must take a lot longer though unless his reindeer lived to be 2 million years old, which doesn't happen with our grounded reindeer.
SO, for replacement time, he would be about 7 or 8 million years old, making him look even more decrepit.