Report, edit, etc...Posted by FaZ- on 2005-02-26 at 00:42:46
Okay I wrote this for a certain female that I will never muster up the courage to ask out. 
Anyway tell me what you think of it. Let it also be noted that straight people can be creative and sensitive before reading.
As I think of you,
And thoughts become focused,
As the world around me,
Need no longer be noticed,
The frailty of time,
As I dream of your face,
A picture so perfect,
My heart starts to race.
I yearn to hold you,
And to make you mine,
And when finally together,
To let our harmony shine.
Desperately I ask,
Do you feel the same?
Are these feelings I hold,
Held merely in vain?
Answer me beautiful,
Be close to my heart,
Anything so flawless,
First must come to a start.
Woo what a rhyme scheme as well. This poem is just full of love I thought.
What do you think?
Anyway tell me what you think of it. Let it also be noted that straight people can be creative and sensitive before reading.As I think of you,
And thoughts become focused,
As the world around me,
Need no longer be noticed,
The frailty of time,
As I dream of your face,
A picture so perfect,
My heart starts to race.
I yearn to hold you,
And to make you mine,
And when finally together,
To let our harmony shine.
Desperately I ask,
Do you feel the same?
Are these feelings I hold,
Held merely in vain?
Answer me beautiful,
Be close to my heart,
Anything so flawless,
First must come to a start.
Woo what a rhyme scheme as well. This poem is just full of love I thought.
What do you think?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LB_Leader on 2005-02-26 at 01:00:28
Nice ryhme Scheme if u give a note to the girl and say it was a secret admirer U might score a chance to be wit h her lol its just a thought/opinion.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by TEC_Ghost on 2005-02-26 at 01:17:57
I like it 
I use to really be into poetry and creative writing, kinda died down now but I occasionally write some mushy stuff still 
good work! 
I use to really be into poetry and creative writing, kinda died down now but I occasionally write some mushy stuff still good work! Report, edit, etc...Posted by FaZ- on 2005-02-27 at 00:31:59
Thanks. More opinions would be good-- even if they are negative ones. By all means if you have something mean to say go ahead and say it. I want to know what people think.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Yoshi da Sniper on 2005-02-27 at 01:42:18
Don't hint about karma please.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by OverTheBelow on 2005-02-27 at 05:47:01
Yay lets give Karma to him! 
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Grizzly(B2BF) on 2005-02-27 at 08:34:00
Wow...that'd be perfect for a song.
Really nice work, I suck at poems n stuff, always sounds to cheezy but thats just right
Really nice work, I suck at poems n stuff, always sounds to cheezy but thats just right
Report, edit, etc...Posted by KrAzY on 2005-02-27 at 10:44:37
Nice Job
Report, edit, etc...Posted by FaZ- on 2005-02-27 at 18:31:23
A song. Yeah that would be cool if I could sing. Anyway I hadn't really thought of that as a song. Songs now just repeat the same 2 or 3 verses repeatedly and not really send any messages of emotion or feelings. I could possibly see this as one of the songs that I would like, if put to good music or something. Thanks everyone.
Anyway I hadn't really thought of that as a song. Songs now just repeat the same 2 or 3 verses repeatedly and not really send any messages of emotion or feelings. I could possibly see this as one of the songs that I would like, if put to good music or something. Thanks everyone.Report, edit, etc...Posted by KaboomHahahein on 2005-02-27 at 18:50:56
The poem is very good! : 
But pretend if you were the girl.
It depends on what personality she has though.
She will either get all sad and like you
OR
"OMG! Some crazy freak wrote this poem for me"
But pretend if you were the girl.
It depends on what personality she has though.
She will either get all sad and like you
OR
"OMG! Some crazy freak wrote this poem for me"
Report, edit, etc...Posted by FaZ- on 2005-02-28 at 16:15:27
Yeah... I actually considered the secret message thing but there really is no point to that as she can't relay her thoughts to me. I'm too damned sensitive to actually talk to her bluntly. Whatever. I can wait...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by FaZ- on 2005-03-03 at 01:02:34
I thought at 300 posts you could close your own topics? Why can't I figure out how to close this one.
Keep discussing my poem anyway.
Keep discussing my poem anyway.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by AlphaNight on 2005-03-07 at 00:59:16
yeah i gotta admit that poem is nice .... except for the one that makes me laugh wich is like 1 lol
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Rhiom on 2005-03-07 at 01:30:42
you wanted a song... i give you a song
[attachmentid=6028]
Edit: great poem by the way, i think it's awsome
[attachmentid=6028]
Edit: great poem by the way, i think it's awsome
Report, edit, etc...Posted by ShadowBrood on 2005-03-07 at 02:24:38
God that voice is creepy.
Faz very nice poem, I can't write anything that good, and congrats on not mentioning sex in there once.
Faz very nice poem, I can't write anything that good, and congrats on not mentioning sex in there once.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by SA_Max71 on 2005-03-07 at 06:57:43
I don't normally post in this forum, but the link was posted in the shoutbox. Anwyays...
I think the only person anyone should be scoring with is their husband/wife - after they have been married.
Karma? I didn't see a hint about any karma there. Could you or someone else explain/show me where there was this supposidive hint is?
Oh, wait, you must mean this hint! (Right?)... Anyways, you can no longer be a regualer member unless you get so many karma.
I really like the poem. . In my experiance, if you wait for something like this, you will regret waiting later on in your life. This is because you loss the chance to tell the other person how you feel.
QUOTE(LB_Leader @ Feb 25 2005, 10:00 PM)
Nice ryhme Scheme if u give a note to the girl and say it was a secret admirer U might score a chance to be wit h her lol its just a thought/opinion.
[right][snapback]153475[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]153475[/snapback][/right]
I think the only person anyone should be scoring with is their husband/wife - after they have been married.
QUOTE(Yoshi da Sniper @ Feb 26 2005, 10:42 PM)
Don't hint about karma please.
[right][snapback]154561[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]154561[/snapback][/right]
Karma? I didn't see a hint about any karma there. Could you or someone else explain/show me where there was this supposidive hint is?
QUOTE(FaZ- @ Mar 2 2005, 10:02 PM)
I thought at 300 posts you could close your own topics? Why can't I figure out how to close this one.
Keep discussing my poem anyway.
[right][snapback]157527[/snapback][/right]
Keep discussing my poem anyway.
[right][snapback]157527[/snapback][/right]
Oh, wait, you must mean this hint! (Right?)... Anyways, you can no longer be a regualer member unless you get so many karma.
QUOTE(FaZ- @ Feb 28 2005, 01:15 PM)
Yeah... I actually considered the secret message thing but there really is no point to that as she can't relay her thoughts to me. I'm too damned sensitive to actually talk to her bluntly. Whatever. I can wait...
[right][snapback]155750[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]155750[/snapback][/right]
I really like the poem.
. In my experiance, if you wait for something like this, you will regret waiting later on in your life. This is because you loss the chance to tell the other person how you feel.Report, edit, etc...Posted by Rhiom on 2005-03-07 at 21:26:48
i'm assuming that the karma related post was deleted, this is what i made of it when i first saw yoshis post.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by SA_Max71 on 2005-03-09 at 22:12:34
Thanks Rhiom
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Staredit.Net Essence on 2005-03-18 at 22:59:17
yes i too share your burden my friend. i find that i cant start up a conversation with any of my friends that happen to be girls. But thats probely because i have no life an am glued tomy computer 
. i am not proud of this fact but it is a fact all the same. oh ya and that was a realy nice powem realy goooood i think you should be foward with her because if you never tell her she might move to a diffrent school or just move all together. until then good luck lad youl shurly need it.
side note: is there a fourm for genral discusion?
. i am not proud of this fact but it is a fact all the same. oh ya and that was a realy nice powem realy goooood i think you should be foward with her because if you never tell her she might move to a diffrent school or just move all together. until then good luck lad youl shurly need it.side note: is there a fourm for genral discusion?