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Report, edit, etc...Posted by Warlord on 2005-02-27 at 16:46:23
[attachmentid=5680] - My End of the world Report
[attachmentid=5679] - My unfinished outline of my novel
I happen to be a rather good writer, in my opinion, and I want to see some of your guys' works. Here are a couple of mine.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2005-02-27 at 16:51:35
http://www.staredit.net/index.php?showtopi...ndpost&p=154431

There is one of two first chapters to novels which I've submitted to SEN.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Warlord on 2005-02-27 at 17:04:19
Hey not bad! Karma point for writing all that lol... must be hard to write a novel in 2487....
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-02-27 at 20:08:43
Judging by the average attention span of thirty seconds on this site, I'll post the first part of one of my many award winning novels.

Chapter 1: Preface

Butterfly Technology. The most feared yet most reverened science to be put into practice since the modern wars. This technology can be used for anything and everything, from predicting the future to predicting stocks, from predicting your love life to predicting the weather.
I hate it.
Altogether, I have deducted that it is a mean for pathetic humans and fools to see into a future they should not be meddling in otherwise. I used to wonder why anyone cared what the future held for them, until my mother fell from a three story window six years ago and broke her spinal cord. I remember sitting outside the office and wondering why, why did this have to happen to her? My father kindly explained to me why.
There is a new science called Butterfly Technology. It has claimed, and has suceeded in doing so, to be able to control the future to create desirable outcomes, or "paths." Each of these paths originate by an action called the "Chaos Glitch." This Chaos Glitch is the one thing that sets off the path in which humanity takes. For example, if a butterfly were to flap it's wing one time, it could eventually cause the downfall of humanity. If the butterfly flaps it's wings twice, then humanity might be able to prosper beyond our wildest dreams.
I hate butterfly technology.
My dear father went on to explain that although sometimes a butterfly can change the outcome of the world as we know it, the world could also be changed by acts a bit larger then a mere butterfly can create.
For instance, the death of a loving woman who had done nothing but care and love me. That was enough to create enough "Chaos" to get one man's wish.
I hate butterfly technology.
As the years went by, two years ago I believe, the scientists who created Butterfly Technology joined with the government to help their faultering cause. Since then, little has been heard of them beyond the random fortune teller who claims to have access to such technology. They are usually removed from public as soon as the government can remove them. It's like they are trying to hide the technology, as if they found a glitch in the system beyond the already needed Chaos Glitch, as if it were a cover up. If it was so, if they were hiding it, they weren't doing a very good job.
I looked over the cleft I was standing on and saw the city before me that had never been mapped. I found them.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2005-02-28 at 18:23:41
Nice writing style, FireKame. I see you're one of those people who likes to write in the first person - something that I'm hopeless at. I'm only any good at writing typical action novels.

It's all very mysterious and worthy of much praise - what awards did it win?

EDIT: Oh yeah, I was going to say that the only things that jarred for me were the infrequent spelling errors.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2005-02-28 at 18:41:52
This was written last year:
http://members.cox.net/dwfirebolt99/life.htm

and my poems:
http://members.cox.net/dwfirebolt99/poems.htm
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2005-02-28 at 19:35:18
Here is a short story written by mua a while ago for homework. Enjoy!

2 Eggs too Many


Mouse and brother mouse had just exited Farmer Fred’s chicken house with some hen eggs. This was Mouse’s first time this deep in the farm and he was really excited.
“This is really exciting!” exclaimed Mouse, lugging one egg on his back and another in his forepaws. Brother Mouse had instructed him to take only one egg, but Mouse wanted to show off.
“Mouse, I instructed you to take one egg, and one egg only,” said Brother Mouse. “Why did you take two? You will never be able to carry them all the way back home.”
“Don’t be silly,” replied Mouse. “Just because I’m small it doesn’t mean I’m weak too. Besides, eggs are delicious. The more we have the better.”
As the two mice headed home, the farmer’s old ginger cat crept out from behind the shed and slowly approached the mice brothers. Then it leapt in front of them and blacked their path to the mouse hole.
“Run into that old rusted up coffee tin when I say so,” whispered Brother Mouse, his voice hoarse and shaky. The cat slowly tiptoed closer to the mice.
“Run!” shouted Brother Mouse as the cat raised its right paw. Quick as a flash, Brother Mouse rolled himself and his egg into the tin. But Mouse was still out in the path. He tried to copy Brother Mouse’s actions, but couldn’t get both eggs to roll and panicked. When the cat pounced in his direction he sprinted into the tin with his brother. The cat smashed into the eggs and got covered in egg yolk. The surprised cat quickly ran back to the shed and hid there.
“Brother, I was wrong,” confessed Mouse. “I shouldn’t have tried to take both eggs with me. From now on I will listen to your advice and be less greedy.”
“We shall go for eggs again tomorrow and do try to be more care for your life is more important than any amount of eggs,” said Brother Mouse. Then they crept out of the coffee tin and went home.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2005-03-01 at 11:58:11
LW: Nice stuff. Is the boy in the story suffering from Anhedonia?

Anhedonia = mental condition often associated with depression. Basically, you just don't care about anything because your life seems grey and meaningless, and you actually lose the ability to experience pleasure. You do things not because they make you feel good, but because you know they are necessary to your continued survival.

Pekkel: Your story is a fable, right? It definitely seems to be a moral story pitched at younger kids.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by LegacyWeapon on 2005-03-01 at 15:39:20
I suppose... It's not a true story BTW.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2005-03-01 at 18:17:19
Yes, we had to write a fable with a moral. That just happened to come to mind.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Cnl.Fatso on 2005-03-02 at 22:41:51
Welcome to the first-ever SEN screening of StarCraft: Armageddon, originally posted upon the Battle.net official Fan Fiction Forum.

Just a little bit of intro. The story picks up a year after the close of Brood War.

StarCraft: Armageddon

Author: Lieutenant Fatso

Prologue

The barren wastelands surrounding Imrahadi II, the second of two outposts on the surface of the desert planet Imrahadi, passed slowly by below the orbiting Confederate scientific station Analarion.

Imrahadi was a world circling the star known as Omega Carinae by Earthmen -- not that they could see it; Omega Carinae was over 2000 light-years from Earth. Around here it was simply called the Sun.

Omega Carinae was a larger-than-average star, spectral class F4, with a system of 6 planets. The two outer planets, Nemesis (so named because of its deadly inwardly spiralling orbit) and an unnamed planet simply known as Six, were gas giants, each at around 2 Jupiter masses. Nemesis had a 3-Earth-year orbital period (for the time), while Six went around every 5 years.

The four inner planets, however, were minor planets, each between the size of Mercury and Mars. From the Sun outward, they were named Imrahadi, Arinajra, Marana, and Eden.

Eden harbored an Earth-like atmosphere, 70% nitrogen, 28% oxygen, and 2% split up between other gases. As suggested by its name, it was a paradise: Great forests of 500-meter-tall-plus trees towered over sunny grasslands and beautiful lakes. There was only one desert on the planet, located near the equator; it was a small one, with temperatures reaching up to 45 degrees Centigrade.

The next two planets in had no atmosphere, largely because they were too small.

If you could consider Eden Heaven, then Imrahadi could be considered Hell. The whole planet was a vast desert; not a drop of water was to be found anywhere on the planet. Desert winds built up until they were strong enough to deface mountains and kick up sand clouds which turned into deadly sandstorms. Sandstorms would romp through the desert, stripping anything nearby of its flesh and heavily abrading the 5-meter-thick walls of the Confederate habitat.

Imrahadi's orbital period was 100 Earth days, and it had no axis rotation, so for 50 days one side would be scorchingly hot, and the other 50 days, it was so cold as to prohibit anything but nitrogen from being liquid.

The fact that two habitats and two orbital stations existed on this planet was unknown to the seven million inhabitants of Eden. As far as they were concerned, Imrahadi may as well not exist.

Which is why not one of them was looking up in the sky as Imrahadi was struck by a planet-sized asteroid.



About a week later, the Mercury-sized planet Arinajra was destroyed by asteroid impact. Still noone noticed. Two weeks after that, Marana exploded violently. It was at elongation that night, so a few astronomers noticed it. They also noted that Imrahadi was not at its usual place -- but several fragments of rock were orbiting in its place.

That got the New Confederacy thinking. If they could understand why these strange explosions were happening, they could act against it. The President suggested they send a small fleet there.

But it was too late for action. Only two days after the destruction of Marana, an extremely large asteroid approached and hit Eden dead on. Seven million lives suddenly disappeared that day.

And noone knew yet the cause...



Chapter 1

---In orbit around the reclaimed Confederate capital of Tarsonis---

Admiral Rahaz Numemfis, aboard his flagship, the heavily-modified Battlecruiser Evil Eye, cast a glance at the datacard he'd been viewing. It contained the latest news from everywhere in the recovering Confederacy. His glare changed to an outright stare as he reached the tidbit about the Omega Carinae system. His eyes grew to the size of phase charges as he read on, until finally the article was over. He had had good friends on Eden (as he had good friends everywhere), and it was horrifying to be notified that several million people were suddenly dead for no reason.

The Admiral himself had an overall lean build. He was tall, thin, and his cheeks were sort of bony. His absolute, zero-albedo black hair was the only thing that had not changed with age; he was creeping up on 50 years of age. Soon enough, even the hair would show signs of aging. Numemfis looked back at the days when he had a more commanding presence with a certain regret; although his men still followed his every order as close as possible, they did so out of respect for the man's amazing capabilities rather than out of fear.

The Evil Eye's onboard computer beeped at him, signalling that he had an incoming message. Numemfis pressed the button that put the message onscreen. When he did so, the face of a young man appeared on the viewer.

"This is Captain Smith of the UED Battlecruiser Excelsior, requesting acknowledgement."

"Admiral Numemfis of the New Confederacy Battlecruiser Evil Eye recognizes your call. What brings you so far from UED-owned space?"

"I am on a trading mission, and have been waylaid by a fleet of Battlecruisers. The Protoss New Conclave has promised aid, but I don't know how long until they arrive. I need help NOW!"

"We will send such aid as we can."

Numemfis turned to his comm officer. "Send Alpha, Beta and Gamma squadrons over to help."

"Aye, Admiral."

"Numemfis out." The lean figure of Captain Smith blinked out and was replaced by the symbol of the New Confederacy.

It was all a matter of time. Time for those Wraiths to arrive at the Excelsior's side, time until it died. Numemfis himself hoped that the ship would be alright until then.



The Confederate Wraiths came out of warpspace in unison, in the familiar wedge-shape formation... to find something that shocked them to the core. The Excelsior was gone. Instead, what filled the screen was a fleet of thirty-two Battlecruisers.

Confederate Top Ace John Forme had time only to shout out to his wingmen to break formation and assume evasive maneuvers before the first wave of laserfire swept by them. One of his pilots took ten heavy-caliber laserblasts at once and simply disintegrated.

Forme snapped off a weak shot with his laser cannon and banked hard to the right. Fortunate move for him, as his entire left flank was filled with the red glow of laserfire.

Forme advanced carefully, with the plan that he would use one of the Battlecruisers as cover. He got right up close to one, began a strafing run which used up half of his missiles, and just as the last one hit, he identified the allegiance of this ship. It read United Earth Directorate.

Ah, crap, we've been set up for an ambush.

Forme radioed a message home, telling Numemfis the bad news. The space in front of him suddenly lit up with laserfire; he'd strayed too far from his cover 'cruiser, and it was firing on him. Fortunately, he only took a minor hit on his portside wing.

Forme knew he and his wingmen could not last long; even now their numbers began to shrink. So it was a half-relief to see one of the Battlecruisers die a fiery death, and to see a three-dozen-ship Dominion fleet pound through the thirty-two -- thirty-one now -- ship fleet as though it was tissue paper.

Of his original thirty-six Wraiths, Forme only had 26 left. The rest were fragments of metal, twisted and contorted into odd shapes.

When the Dominion 'cruisers had finished off the UED ones, an even bigger surprise came.

24 Carriers suddenly appeared out of nowhere, so quickly that Forme looked for the telltale signs of an Arbiter nearby. Sure enough, there were 4 of them in a square formation. The Carriers took on the Dominion 'cruisers in a battle that would probably boil down to who had more guns.

Forme, as soon as he noticed that the Carriers were loaded with the advanced Interceptor-Bs, knew that the battle was already over.

Interceptor-Bs, for lack of a better name, were advanced Interceptors with more firepower, more shields, more armor, and a better piloting AI. The downside was their prohibitive cost -- twice as much as your average Interceptor.

At any rate, the Carriers made quick work of the Dominion 'cruisers, losing only 5 of their own numbers. A thin Protoss face then appeared on Forme's main viewer.

"Unidentified starfighter, this is Praetor Artanis of the Protoss New Conclave. Please state your business here in this place which has seen much bloodshed today."

"New Confederate Top Ace John Forme and his three squadrons of Wraiths, Praetor. We were assigned to help a supposed UED Excelsior which was supposedly under attack, but we ran into an ambush.

"They had thirty-two ships waiting for us there, and we engaged the armada until a Dominion fleet came and scrapped it. Then you came with your Carriers, loaded, as I notice, with Interceptor Bs -- very powerful, very expensive -- and scrapped the Dominion 'cruisers."

"Okay, that seems reasonably close to our own observations. Go back to your commanding officer and give a full report. Hold nothing back. I do not want to live in a galaxy filled with people who do not report honestly to their COs for fear of punishment."

"No punishment should be in order. It is an honor to meet you, Praetor." And with that, Forme called his squadrons together and left, noting that the leader of the Protoss was one of those rare kind: extremely reasonable men.



The Evil Eye's docking bays were depressingly vacant as John Forme, 1.75 meters tall, emerged from the hatch of his modified Wraith. He had mounted an extra pair of laser cannons, thinking that the beam weapons on his craft were too underpowered to take on anything real.

As suggested, he went to Admiral Numemfis and gave a full report, leaving not a single detail out. On datacard, it took up most of the memory, as Forme was fond of blow-by-blow accounts.

He then looked his fighter over, checked that all systems were on a hairline trigger to be good to go, then handed his finished report to the Admiral, whom he had the utmost respect for, to the extent that they were good friends.



Aboard the Conclave flagship Gantrithor II, Praetor Artanis observed his latest reports from the galaxy. The UED was screaming for help from the Protoss due to the fact that they were heavily weakened and under attack by relentless Zerg; the Dominion was screaming AT the Protoss for destroying their own fleet; the Zerg were as secretive as ever -- He should get someone close to Kerrigan, maybe they could get some information that way -- and the New Confederacy was extending peace overtures -- that was good news; nobody liked to live in a universe filled with war.

But when the Praetor's gaze reached the last item on the list, he exploded. "Lord Adun Above!"

Artanis said that as he read a report on the destruction -- total destruction -- of Shakuras, the ancestral home of the Dark Templar sect. "Lord Adun Above" indeed. The situation called for something more like "Oh my freaking God, what the hell are you talking about?"

But with a supreme effort, the young Praetor fought down all emotion and read through the rest of the report calmly.

The cause of the destruction of Shakuras had been... asteroid impact.

---------------------------------------------------

This is the first part of about 15 or so, of which 8 have been written.

*is wishing that this forum gave away minerals*

Comments, anyone?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Warlord on 2005-03-02 at 23:28:13
Hey LT. Fatso, I liked it quite a lot... you won't be able to publish it without Blizzard's approval though, in case those are you aims. but if you would, please attatch it as a document, instead of taking up space... Thanks. Nice writing though. What did you guys think of mine?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Cnl.Fatso on 2005-03-02 at 23:36:50
No, I don't intend to publish it. And anyways, since it was originally posted on a Blizzard forum, they already own any rights to it.
Report, edit, etc...Posted by www.com.au on 2005-03-03 at 02:38:22
WOW!! NICE!! HAH!

do you think by any chance, you could put it in a wor document or similair?

if you could.. could you pm me the documents if you do that?? i woul love to read more...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by CaptainWill on 2005-03-03 at 17:16:56
QUOTE(LegacyWeapon @ Mar 1 2005, 08:39 PM)
I suppose... It's not a true story BTW.
[right][snapback]156473[/snapback][/right]


I know, but I thought it might be written from the 'adolescent experience' perspective.

To Warlord: I think the reason that nobody has rated yours yet is because you posted one of them in .doc format.

We're lazy, see, and we'd prefer not to have to click. tongue.gif
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-03-03 at 17:47:41
QUOTE(CaptainWill @ Feb 28 2005, 04:23 PM)
Nice writing style, FireKame. I see you're one of those people who likes to write in the first person - something that I'm hopeless at. I'm only any good at writing typical action novels.

It's all very mysterious and worthy of much praise - what awards did it win?

EDIT: Oh yeah, I was going to say that the only things that jarred for me were the infrequent spelling errors.
[right][snapback]155886[/snapback][/right]


Lol, no awards. I was being sarcastic. tongue.gif thank you though for liking it...
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Warlord on 2005-03-03 at 17:58:41
I'm lazy too... treust me... I'm just not a space waster.... ya get me?
Report, edit, etc...Posted by Kame on 2005-03-03 at 18:38:59
Well, moving right along. It is my belief that the tale sort of weakens as I continued to write it. That first part was probably the strongest writing for the story as of yet.

Anywho, if anyone is interested, go browse around My DeviantArt Site for more such stuff.

</shameless plug>
Report, edit, etc...Posted by pekkel_the_duck on 2005-03-06 at 22:44:13
Well, this is the latest in Pekkel Productions. Read it and tell me if it makes you want to see the movie if you would be so kind. biggrin.gif
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