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Why wait? Why not wait?

Contrevertial. I do know some people that absolutly doesn't want to have sex before marriage, and I have yet to understand why... But that's what the topic is for, right?


PS -- It's not only a religion thing: I do not trust in God, nor do I plan to trust in any Gods. But if my future girlfriend wishes to get married in a church, I will accept. Just because it's a "tradition" (which doesn't make me a catholic for that reason... I guess). But, bleh.

State your bids, and try to stay away from typical religious-like arguements (I mean, don't we already have enough topics on that?).

And let's keep the discussion mature; no idiots.

Ah, the old "sex before marriage" debate. Good to see something interesting finally being posted in the SD forum...

Before we begin, I'd like to define sex as intercourse. I'd also like to define marriage as a legal entity and not a religious one, because in reality marriage has existed far longer than any modern religion. It is a societal adaptation, and has flourished because married couples tend to take better care of their children than single parents. However, to claim that sex before marriage is morally "wrong", or amoral, is to ignore the most important of facts about society - different structures in society have different codes of morality. For instance, today's youths tend to be more liberal than the more elderly citizens. This can even be the case in different regions of the same country. So before people start throwing morality around, let's decide on whose morality to use. Me, I use the moral system I learned growing up in semi-rural Vermont, a land of potheads and vicious, maliscious right-wingers. Sex before marriage is only frowned upon by those who are bitter that they never enjoyed themselves while they were young. Very few kids even in high school had any qualms about sex before marriage. My parents actually encouraged it because it's healthy. It allows you to learn a lot about someone with whom you may spend the rest of your life. If you find out that you're sexually incompatible after you're married, you're pretty screwed. Actually, I guess you're not . If proper precautions are taken, sex before marriage is perfectly safe. This is, however, different from indiscriminate sex with many partners, which can lead to the quick transfer of venereal diseases. The safest way to go about enjoying your short time on this planet is to build fulfilling relationships with as many people as possible - if it leads to sex, well, in my opinion that's just a bonus.

Maybe we should start an "institution of marriage" topic about homosexuality and stuff like that. I've got a lot of ideas on that subject.

Go ahead and start it, Nozomu. It should proove to be interesting

meh. I've never really considered it, mainly because I haven't ever really liked anyone that way. I don't think my religon would enter too much into it...perhaps my up bringing. The school system discouraged hugging or anything like that for a looooong time as well. So it's more a personal preference; I don't like physical contact on that level, so I really have no intention on just testing out sexual relationships with people to check compatability.

Humans bug me.
*FireKame twitches.


hahaha...

It's probably not going to be an issue until you find someone with whom you can be truly close, physically as well as mentally. But believe me, when you get close enough with the right person it's the most rewarding experience you've ever felt, even if it doesn't go past first base. Okay, that may be subjective, but that's how it is for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't rule it out as a possibility.

Contact (not sex, but just touching someone else) with other people allows me to act on impulse. I often tend to overthink social situations, and getting close with other people allows me to overcome that. Drinking alcohol and playing music also give me that same freedom to be impulsive, which is why I do 'em.

I don't feel like starting the institution of marriage thread quite yet because I've got to do a bit more research on the topic. I wouldn't want to prematurely start spouting opinions without backing them up.

When you become adults (over the age of 18) i say you should be able to decide when you want to have sex, married or not. relegious crap, it's your life and you should live it how you want. If you want to get laid every day, and someone wants to have sex with you every day, i say go for it.

I dont believe in "Sex before marriage"

If someone wants to have sex, Then let them have sex... It's no ones elses choice, But the people who want to have sex.

This all "YOU" must wait to be married crap befor you can have sex. Its a load of crap.

I think that once you are over 16 you should be able to decide (the law here), but that people need to be properly educated on sex so that we don't have an explosion of teenage mothers.

As for sex before marriage - that shouldn't be controversial at all, but is because America is unusually pious for a modernised country; full of zealots (not of the SC variety) and generally god-fearing folk.

It is all in opinion how and when to have sex. Unless you are raped.

What could possibly be wrong with having sex before marriage?
Ok... maybe a 17y/o preg isn't good, but that's your problem for not using presvs

Sex before marriage is a must for me.

Having sex with only 1 person in your whole life? think I'd get bored after a couple of years. As I like to say to my friends, variety is good.

Yeah I use to think sex before marriage was a very rightous move, but then I had sex and now I beleive sex before marriage is fine with me, as long as you are smart about it (preservs and such). I am very lucky that my girl friend is very close to her parents and her parents give her birth control pills for her use, don't know how it happened but one day she came running to me all excited and stuff. I still use a condom but with her birth control pills too I feel very safe that I won't be a dad any time soon!

heres my opinion, i dont beleive in not having sex until marriage.
more likly you can practice having sex with your sexual partner then until marriage you will a professional on it and dont feel embarist or a newbie.
if you didnt have sex yet well..... your missin out the fun in what is called life, its better than playing ordinary games.

for me i wouldnt want to start and have sex now. Well cuz im only wot? 14 years old?lol i would rather get a job and a secure payment before i think on dating. So then if i am going to get a partner, i dont think that i should have sex with that person so soon even before i know them. After i know the person, show the person i love that person and by having a marriage. thus it is after marriage.
(I was speaking in a neither gender perspective)

"Sex" is a method of reproduction. It's what creates more human life(which is unnecessary). Marriage is not required for one of the niches of the animal known as the human being.

Sex IS a method of reproduction, and that's the reason (in the past, at least) why church didn't allow sex before marriage: They needed to build up a strong feeling, from the people, for religion, and so did they strenghten (typo?!) their laws to actually enforce people to marry others as soon as it possibly was (to have sex --> children).

Now, people don't only do it for reproduction, but for pleasure (which has been a taboo in religion since... god knows when).

Kinda destroyed the foolish "balance" that there were in the past...

A method of reproduction?
State another one.

I find it resentful that you find the only fanatic group against sex outside of marriage to be the church.

We aren't all the blood sucking creeps you make us out to be.

If the two people are okay with it and they're 18 or older, then it's their choice. They're adults now. If they understand the risks and are okay with them, then okay.

BTW, the t.v. show "Friends" definately agree with choice #1.

Needles/Surgery.

But you do agree that technically, if you actually believe in God, Church and w/e that comes with it, you must obey this rule and not have sex before marriage? Breaking it would just be filling a flaw in your own belief...

That's one of the first Bible law. I don't see how this makes practicing Christians "blood sucking creeps" either, though...

I just don't see the use of that "rule".

Hold up hun, christian's aren't perfect, they're forgiven. Just because I go out and have sex with a guy I'm not going to hell over it. So where's the flaw?

I don't know. You tell me.

If there's one thing my religion classes (ouch) thought me is that you have to follow the most elemental rules of the Holy Bible, or you're not entering heaven.

Like... Don't kill others. Don't cheat on your wife. Sex = after marriage. Etc...


I suck at religion... But anyway. As Nozomu stated, we're speaking of religious and/or civil marriage, I guess.

I think sex before marriage is fine, just as long as the girl dont get pregnant or any of us get stds or something

Many texts against sex before were ill-written from the ignorant, but by the rules of this thread I must be "mature" by not stating any religious nonsense; therefore, I shall debate with my great acquaintance Nozomu, for his opinion can be proven or disproven .

One might say Nozomu is being very subjective and stereotypical, but his belief is that morality is relative. Of course, I cannot argue against that statement because then I would not be "mature" by stating religious nonsense; therefore, Nozomu has his opinion entitled to him. Also, I admire Nozomu's integrity. It is very risky for a person who uses logic throughout staredit to speak of what one would call "straw man stereotypes", or stating that the opposite side deplores it for a reason that is false because it lacks logic. I would give you an example, but then I would not be "mature" because I would be speaking of religious fantasies.

I do not speak the above to criticize Nozomu, but instead to glorify his honesty. No one can be fully logical, because humans are embedded with emotions. I would speak more about emotions, but that would not be the "mature" thing to do, so I will drop the subject.

One may see this as a witty quip, but I see an important lesson about sex. Your life doesn't end if you are unable to have sex, which is quite ironic, since one of the poll answers is: "How can you have life w/o sex???". Nozomu's next statement reinforces this and also points out other interesting things.

The female partner is never 100% safe from pregnancy, unless she is barren. From my most recent memory account on birth control pills, they have a 2% failure rate, but let us get onto the more mature topic of this quote shall we?

Nozomu is almost completely in the right when he states all of this. Besides the first sentence, he has his CD's and CM's in great condition. I loudly applaud you, Nozomu, for using the "real reason - bonus" approach. Usually, people get into these relationships to have intercourse, but you are right in saying that it the real reason for some people is to have fulfilling relationships with all mankind (by compassion, kindness, and love, which happens to be in a specific book but I would not be "mature" if I spoke of it.), and have sex as a bonus. The reason I congratulate you on using that is because I've had to use that to explain my true motives to people as well.


I agree Nozomu; we do have a sense of happiness when we get close to the right person. Sometimes logic can't explain everything. Usually, the emotion comes first; you just know. Of course, emotions are deceiving, and after the "puppy-love" dissolves (if it dissolves), you think logically if this is truly the right person. Oh gosh, I just realized something, and it's inflicting cruel and unusual punishment upon me. This probably exactly how the chr.. but of course, I would not be "mature" if I babbled if about theism and religion.


I realize I have separated this from the top paragraph and taking it out of context, but I could not understand what this meant in context either. Could you please clarify? From my partially skewed version upon it, you do those things to be impulsive. But, sex is an impulse. Sex as you mentioned earlier is "just a bonus", but then why would make yourself be able to have these impulses unless you wanted them, making Sex the reason not the bonus?

In conclusion, Nozomu is the only one against sex before marriage who not only speaks "maturely", but brings out many points instead of a short quip.

P.S. I would like to thank Marc Antony for his brilliant form of speech argument.