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To save space on the boards I decided to make my own topic for all my writings instead of individually. Each writing will be numbered and I would reccomend to use the number in front of what your saying so I know which your talking about thanks

1). Dead

Is everything dead
or is it inside my head

The feeling inside
I can no longer hide

And the truth be told
The feeling I cant hold
There is a demon inside
That I can no longer hide

And its ready to burst
and that will be the worst

There is another piece I wrote

---

2). The box

What could be inside the box?
It could be a goat or it could be a fox
it could be some cookies it could be some socks

I was too afraid to look in the box
I carried it to the trash and it was as heavy as rocks
I ran inside and shut the locks
Because I never wanted to see that box

A man walked by and saw the box
He took it home and left it by the docks
some birds flew by and saw the box
they took the box and left it by some rocks

Some jocks went by and found the box
They opened it up and got chicken pox

So thats what was inside the box
A little case of chicken pox
But nobody died not even the jocks
They took the box and threw it off the docks

The box floated up on the shore one day
A couple kids saw it as they play
They walked by the box with little to say
They opened up the box and said hurray

Little did they know inside the box
Was a little case of chicken pox

The kids went home and started itching
After a while they started female doging (stupid filters)

The itching was bad and they had no clue
All there parents could do was give them some stew

The pox got worse and they got real ill
Those little chicken pox just started to kill
The pox spread more and they started to fill
And the pox just started to kill

A little while later there were few left
And the few left started to do theft

there was nobody left so how could they get cought
But the pox cought up if only they thought

---

3). With A Million Dollars
With a million dollars id have alot of fun
Id sit on the beach and soak up the sun
And everymorning I would take a run

Id go to a church and beat the crap out of a nun
When the police come id be sure to run
because being in jail sure wouldnt be fun

Inside the jail id be sure to sneak a gun
If I cant take any more it looks like im done
Put an end to my life with the shot of the gun

This is basically about how money can corrupt you

---

4). The Speeding Truck

I look outside because of the noise
Two little kids playing with toys
I took my head out because I thought they made the noise
I didnt even think to take another look at the boys

From down the street I heard a squeeling tire
The truck was going so fast it left a trail of fire

The boys toy went into the road
The truck was so heavy it was carrying a load

It couldnt stop and slammed into the boy
He went flying down the street and let go of his toy

The guy got out of the truck and threw him on his back
He rushed to the hospital without ever looking back

I never saw that truck again nor the little boys
But I still see the tire marks and pieces of the toy

---

5). Time
Times are changing
Everything is rearranging

To keep it all equal
and not have a sequal

Of when there was no food
And people walked around nude

Those were the simpler days
Because we evolved all our ways

But the times kept moving
And I dont know what its proving

Personally dont know where your trying to go with that... Whats up with everything dead to your evil inner-self? Like the flow and stuff but dont really like what you wrote.

2). The box

What could be inside the box?
It could be a goat or it could be a fox
it could be some cookies it could be some socks

I was too afraid to look in the box
I carried it to the trash and it was as heavy as rocks
I ran inside and shut the locks
Because I never wanted to see that box

A man walked by and saw the box
He took it home and left it by the docks
some birds flew by and saw the box
they took the box and left it by some rocks

Some jocks went by and found the box
They opened it up and got chicken pox

So thats what was inside the box
A little case of chicken pox
But nobody died not even the jocks
They took the box and threw it off the docks

The box floated up on the shore one day
A couple kids saw it as they play
They walked by the box with little to say
They opened up the box and said hurray

Little did they know inside the box
Was a little case of chicken pox

The kids went home and started itching
After a while they started female doging (stupid filters)

The itching was bad and they had no clue
All there parents could do was give them some stew

The pox got worse and they got real ill
Those little chicken pox just started to kill
The pox spread more and they started to fill
And the pox just started to kill

A little while later there were few left
And the few left started to do theft

there was nobody left so how could they get cought
But the pox cought up if only they thought

ADDITION:


I dont really know where I was going with that one nothing is really dead its all just an imagination by the demon inside I know it kinda doesnt make sense

after

The box floated up on the shore one day
A couple kids saw it as they play

your poem doesnt really make any sense.. Donno, the ending is so weird. Does this have a meaning to it which im not getting? Becuase in the start it wounds like one of Dr. Sues nice little story, in the end it sounds like the Pandora's box...

I guess u could say its a combination Yeah the first guy who didnt open the box was smart because it kills you for being curious

ADDITION:
Edited 2). The Box a little bit and I think it makes more sense now

Poem 1) Dead.

It felt like you were forcing the rhyming and this part

"The feeling inside
I can no longer hide

And the truth be told
The feeling I cant hold

There is a demon inside
That I can no longer hide"

were the same thing said three times to me.

Poem 2) The Box
Again, it felt like the rhyming was forced. And this part

"What could be inside the box?
It could be a goat or it could be a fox
it could be some cookies it could be some socks"

I thought was fine with the goat and fox because this poem could have been written for humor. The goat and fox were both animals, so I understand that, but cookies and socks? aiya -_-


Another thing about the whole box thing. Is that what you believe, is that curiosity will get you? I was actually thinking about that today. I came to a conclusion that curiosity is... the foundation of technological advancement, a foundation of human superiority to beasts. Had we not been curious, we wouldn't have discovered all too many things, wouldn't have wondered and imagined, and the Golden Age of the Greeks would never have existed... of course, we have all but too many reasons to exploit what we discover through curiosity, and that could be good or bad depending on your perspective.

Yeah it kinda was forced

Curiosity killed the cat is basically what I went off to write that

Ah, yes, that did cross my mind briefly, but the strong questioning of curiosity of earlier in my day came harder at me xD

Forced, but fixable, go for it

lol it serioulsy sounded like dr.sues in the start. Didnt read the revised one but ill read it tommorow right now i have to write 3 essays ...

Yes i leave all my work till one day. Good thing these are real short essay well im writing them short lol...

I mean the whole mystery box being passed around espeically with birds in them... And the chicken pox just sounds funny lol..

I tried to make it rhyme

ADDITION:
3). With A Million Dollars
With a million dollars id have alot of fun
Id sit on the beach and soak up the sun
And everymorning I would take a run

Id go to a church and beat the crap out of a nun
When the police come id be sure to run
because being in jail sure wouldnt be fun

Inside the jail id be sure to sneak a gun
If I cant take any more it looks like im done
Put an end to my life with the shot of the gun

This is basically about how money can corrupt you

(Edited First Topic To Include All Of Them)

ADDITION:
4). The Speeding Truck

I look outside because of the noise
Two little kids playing with toys
I took my head out because I thought they made the noise
I didnt even think to take another look at the boys

From down the street I heard a squeeling tire
The truck was going so fast it left a trail of fire

The boys toy went into the road
The truck was so heavy it was carrying a load

It couldnt stop and slammed into the boy
He went flying down the street and let go of his toy

The guy got out of the truck and threw him on his back
He rushed to the hospital without ever looking back

I never saw that truck again nor the little boys
But I still see the tire marks and pieces of the toy

.............

The Speeding Truck is just sad... makes me cry, becuase there was something like that in the place where I live. Expect it was some speeding girl, and she hit 2 girls riding their bike. Sure, I didnt know who they were, but just the fact that two little girls died is horrable.

I never seen something like that happen but its pretty sad

U have any suggestions tho for it?

I edited it a tiny bit too

4). The Speeding Truck

I look outside because of the noise
Two little kids playing with toys
I took my head out because I thought they made the noise
I didnt even think to take another look at the boys

From down the street I heard a squeeling tire
The truck was going so fast it left a trail of fire

The boys toy went into the road
The truck was so heavy it was carrying a load

It couldnt stop and slammed into the boy
He went flying down the street and let go of his toy

The guy got out of the truck and threw him on his back
He rushed to the hospital without ever looking back

I never saw that truck again nor the little boys
But I still see the tire marks and pieces of the toy

Do u think this edit is better than him throwing the kid in his truck and kidnapping him?

Wow, it seems everyone on this site, except me, writes exceptional stories.
By the way, NICE POEM!

Ok temple, I've been trying to refrain from saying this, but quit posting useless comments. Don't try to wrack up your minerals by posting crap no one really can get anything out of.

But there is no stories here... I see 4 poems, but no story... hmm sounds fishy.

fm47 no need to go all the way there lol.

Ill write more poems tommorow and edit my poem list lol..

5). Time
Times are changing
Everything is rearranging

To keep it all equal
and not have a sequal

Of when there was no food
And people walked around nude

Those were the simpler days
Because we evolved all our ways

But the times kept moving
And I dont know what its proving