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Two years ago I was attending English courses with one girl. We were in the same group. She was really friendly, nice, a bit shy, and I liked her. It was a simple sympathy. We were sitting near and chatting, and stuff like that. Then a new school year began, and we all had new groups. After that, I never saw her for a year. One time we met, and we had little talk because I was all "consumed" by my thoughts.(sometimes it happens to me). After that, we haven't met a single time.

Back to the new school year starting. When we were seperated, nothing happened, I moved on with my life, sometimes remembering her, but nothing serious. About a month ago I began to understand that I miss something, something that I really need. And at one point, she struck. I understood that it's some kind of nostalgia for her. Some kind of positive memory that speeks too loud in me. I've never felt anything like this.

I got her phone. Called her. At first she confused me with another guy she was learning with. Then, when I explained that I'm not who she think I am, she told that she does not remember me at all. We moved on to Skype (something like MSN for those who do not know). She told that she doesen't even remember the "brightest" people in our group where we were together, such as our funny teacher, me, and one other guy. I gave her my photo, explained more, and she told that it all reminds her a bit about something. We had a friendly talk, showed our photos to eachother, and that's all.

I'll be able to meet her only after I get back from my 4 day trip, and it's not easy to arrange a meeting because she's working and learning at school. As a usual help-with-woman thread I ask you questions and await logical answers to the following questions:

1) How should I act: talk to her less in Skype so curiosity drives her, or talk more to have a better basis when we actually meet?

2) I've asked this question many people. Should I bring such a simple thing as flowers to our first meeting? Remember, I want to have a "friendly hanging out" key, and not a "date" key. So far, the people who answered this question had the following opinions:
-Bring very good flowers, to show your attention to her.
-Bring flowers, but not something shocking like roses. Bring something tidy, small, yet "with taste". Not to shock her too much, but to show your attention. (I like this one the most)
-Bring no flowers, because she may think it's a date.

Comments, helpful tips? I'm waiting for the allmighty Doodan to post in this topic.

To moderators: please don't close it if I don't reply for 4 days - I'll be back. I just want some opinions to be here when I get back.

I think flowers might make you seem a bit too keen, especially if she, as she says, doesn't remember you.

My advice would be to insist on paying for anything you do when you hang out. It might make her more likely to go on a date in the future.

Don't take advice from me though. I'm inexperienced.

I don't believe you about this part. I thank you for the rest of your post.

Lol, waiting for me, eh?

Okay... I can tell you now that your odds aren't good. In fact, I have unsuccessfully tried to reconcile with ex's and girls from the past that I suddenly had a craving for. This one time I did do pretty well, but I think that was mostly due to other circumstances at the time that I can't replicate.

But, you're going to try anyways, and I wish you luck. So here's my advice on that: Try to find out what the hell was up with her not remembering you. Girls never have that bad a memory unless they are really trying to discourage you. I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly flakes out of any meetings you have planned.

About your questions:

1) Face to face is ALWAYS better than talking via messenger/email/phone. If you go into a person to person situation knowing what you want to say, you have a lot of power. Don't be overbearing and try to squeeze answers out of her before you meet face to face. Less is more.

2) NO (capital "N" "O") flowers. If you do that you've already lost. She'll know exactly what you want to tell her before you say a word and she'll immediately begin one of her pre-programmed rejection speeches. Wanting to meet her anyways will probably give her a pretty good clue about why, but even if you can keep her guessing just a little, you still retain some control in the situation. Don't mention the word "love" either, unless you want her to mention "restraining order".

The best advice I can give though is to not get into one of these situations in the first place (where the girl has all the power). You will most likely be rejected. Sometimes (and I stress "sometimes"), staying attentive to a girl for a long period of time - like months or years - will surprisingly cause them to become interested. But by then you've gotten over most of the fears and self-created suspense that was the source of most of the attraction anways.

Go ahead and try. If it doesn't work out (and I doubt it will), forget about her and start chasing other girls.

Yeah - just be friendly for a while and make a move if things look promising.

You don't want to end up in the so-called 'FriendZone' though.

A fate worse than death.

To me, that's worse than just getting flat out rejected.

You mean be friendly but not be a constant friend to stand out and to make her curious? Not to become too "usual" for her? Sorry for the stupid question.

No, the "Friendzone" is a term meaning that the girl is interested ONLY in a platonic friendship with NO romantic potential. It's a "category" for guys she isn't interested in, but feels too guilty to simply tell them to get lost.

I see.

ADDITION:

That's why I want to keep the "friendly" atmosphere. I couldn't even find out does she have a boyfriend She is almost inactive in i-net life.

But if she wants to discourage me, why did she give me her Skype identity?

ADDITION:

That's why I want to keep the "friendly" atmosphere. I couldn't even find out does she have a boyfriend She is almost inactive in i-net life.

But if she wants to discourage me, why did she give me her Skype identity?

Because girls don't make any sense.

Boredom or curiosity?

Jammed asks too many questions. If i was experianced id help but im not. But as a very emotionaly in touch person, id say be careful. Just careful....

-Ex

The Dood says no flowers at any time and i am inclined to agree. =/

-Ex

Well, I didn't say NEVER. There's a time for everything. But you should reserve flowers for later in the relationship when you have her guessing wether or not you still care about her, and other such situations. They are terrible for the beginning, though.

I just like to add to Dood, that our native girls are very different from amish ones. And russian girls are even more different.

So are the guys different to suit the girls

Yea baby!

I've never dated an amish chick. I'm not sure I want to either. I don't know if they shave or not...

You know that my amish I meant american.

aaawwww, thats cute, Jammed wants girl help. can't stress enough, NO flowers while you're still 'dating,' only if you're fairly steady with her. personally, i like to get to know chicks abit before i'd ask them out, but its your choice. the thing with doing this is that you can't loiter for too long, otherwise you're gonna get stuck permanently . Also, you have to show her that you're interested, getting less and less subtle as time goes on(a short time, shouldn't be 'friends' for too long). I usually try to hang out with both our groups of friends, steadily becoming smaller and smaller, until its just the two of you. anyhow, that method works for me.

ps, i'm nowhere near experienced as Doodan though . also, Jammed, my moves are probly better than your moves, so it might now work out quite so well for you .