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Have you ever wondered if rewarding a child for a good behavior or good results in school and things is detrimental to their mental health. Do you agree or disagree?

Right. I want to keep this light but serious. Post your reasons, support with details and examples including the source if you can get one. ( I'll really really appreciate it if you do. )

For my part. I disagree that it damages their mental health from being rewarded for good behavior and good results in school tests. I think it developes their brain further into believing that good things result in rewards and that means more good behavior.

I do reward my son with treats or toys for his good behavior. It helps him to stay motivated to behave well, because he knows he will get nothing he wants for acting ornery. Life is similar anyways, no matter how old you are. People who are good to others tend to have an easier time getting want they want.

I also believe that being good is its own reward. A clear conscience gives you peace of mind, and no amount of money or manipulation can buy that. But that's a lesson I had to learn on my own. I know it could've never been crammed down my throat, I don't believe I can MAKE my son learn the self generated rewards of goodness.

Hell, I still reward myself with food. I'm currently saving up money so I can go buy myself an expensive dinner after I finish my movie. And I'm looking forward to it.

You can reward children with "cookies", but not too much, so you don't spoil them. Set the limit well, so he doesen't get a thousand toys for almost nothing, and so he doesen't get a pathetic cookie after mooving mountains.

But I agree with Doodan, that being a nice person in heart is a reward by itself. I understand that, but sometimes I let evil into myself... and most of the time, pride helps this happen...

If I had to put my money on a kid doing something good for a cookie verses doing something good out of respect for law and order in society, I'd go with the cookie.

I think you are supposed to be good, without reward. I also think you are supposed to be punished if you do wrong. The punishment should act as motivation, not a reward.

Yeah me too since most kids dont understand all the rules anyway and why they are around anyway but everyone understands a cookie tastes good

The cookie is obviously good. Look at animals. If you feed a seal a fish every time he touches a long stick the more he would be able to recognize it.

The question is, do you want kids to do well on test because they wish for short-term gratification or long-term gratification? If it's the former, sure, give them the cookie, but if it's the latter, you can say, hey, if you do well on this test, it's this much less you will have to pay for for college and this more that you have learned. I think the right thing is to try to instill a respect and a hunger for knowledge that will overcome the hunger for the cookie. So no, I do not support the use of incentives for good grades. I think that if you raise the child right and give him the right genes, then you will raise a responsible child who is able to do well for the sake of doing well. If you do the other, I think you raise a child who will end up demanding an expensive car for their 16th birthday because they got an A on their test in English and not be able to function well in society where good acts are often not rewarded.

Raising your child to care about college at an age below high school is ludicris. I once saw a show, movie or commercial that had a child being told that she was not gonna get into the high level college her parents were hoping for, and she just shrugged it off. It didn't even matter to her. Put your incentives where they fit. Cookie for a test. Ease it into a more inner gratitudal reward than a material reward of the world, but you should start with the easy, tangible things. Cookies.

I honestly dont beleave that there is a kid alive that cares about long term stuff. All kids (and this is true with alot of older people too) want things now. And to get it now, they will act a serten way. If its going good on a test, so be it. if it's being nice to a person untill they give you want you want then thats what they will do. but thats just me

You're right, having them worry about college before they enter high school is absurd, and I withdraw that example. People doing that is one of my person pet peeves so I have no idea why I even put that in there.

However, replace that need to get into college with a sense of how their knowledge can affect people's interpretations of them. When they come to you happy that they memorized the times tables, or they come running to you with their first A on a history test, reward them with something that will actually mean something down the line, your praise and respect.

Yea, Kow and McAfee nailed it. Kids and most teenagers simply aren't thinking very far ahead. The maturity that enables long term judgement usually doesn't develop until the late teens and early twenties (and I'm sure it never develops for people who become drug addicts as teenagers, as the brain's development is stunted by that kind of consumption). Like I was saying, there are things that I've come to learn that no one could have ever forced me to learn. I had to have the room to grow. But the basic premise of pleasure derived from good behavior and punishment from bad behavior was important in my rearing.

I, being 13, would like a cookie each time I do something good, but I don't do good things to get something. I rather care about the love from my parents than a good taste in my mouth, but many kids I meet these days think otherwise, it annoys me and loses my respect to them especaly when they talk smack to their parents.
I would like to do good on a test to get me that much further in my life, and closer to my goal to be and enginer start my own company and have a nice life. I have already biult things to patent and have drawn up fesable hovercar plans using a practical use used today.
That is my three cents.

I see. Me more than being 13, you should start with that by making more use of correct spellings And that'd make a real difference in your college essay.

But most kids like you won't ever understand what love means. They want sweet things in their mouth. Like if they promised they'd get a Xbox 360 at the end of the semester if they got an A honors. They want things like that. Although to some it would spoil them, and make them act if they deserve things for silly little things.

I never said anything like that if you're reffering to me
I had said "I ,being 13,". Not Me being 13 take out the being 13 and if I use me it would say "Me would like a cookie each time I do something good" does that sound right?

I own no xBox or any other game station except for my mac, and I don't care for one either. The only computer games I own are Myst, Starcraft, and Diablo.

I, being 15 think its alright to give your kid stuff when there little, but when they get older give them fun responsibility I just got my permit and thats probably better than a Xbox360. It hurts me to see my brother every time we go into town ask can I get a toy? He is eight manages to sleep with my mom every night and throws a tantrum to get what he wants. That never worked for me , but the youngest one always gets babied.

It is unfair to those people who are not rewarded. It does not teach them anything about the importance of trying hard in life without getting rewards.

Alot of the poorest kids I know are the hardest workers, but then again many of them complety forget about school or work and become bums practically.

Then again you can be rewarded with love which is more important.

I agree with what you first said. I think that if young children don't get a reward, they won't understand what hard work does for them. Combining material rewards with some praise is an effective tool to get those youngin's working. As they get older, slowly decrease the material rewards until they are non-existent. Yay.

I see smart people in high school who are also from the lower working class. They do well, but most don't have the money to go to any decent college.

It's your pessimistic attitude tango that depresses people. We have tons and tons of student loan possibilities for students, and at the college near me you can get 20 credits and the price of 15-10 credits I forget and if your a hard worker you can do that regardless of money. I have three years of college payed for by a scholorship that probably will or has already seen low budget and is going to be cut. I am still going to college ill just take out student loans once my scholorship is up.

But I wonder if students 12 years of age be granted 5 dollars per A's in long term report cards is good for them. Even companies like Krispy Kremes offer a free doughnut for each As, 6 maximum for each student. You wish you still were like in middle school.

At family video for your end of the year report card you get movies half off or something like that for each A.

with young kids you HAVE to give them some kind or reward for working hard. It dose not matter if its something small like a candy bar or if its a new game or whatnot. On that note, the rewards have to be proportionate to the work done. For example, If you have the child clean there room, and you give them a car, they will expect rewards of that size or bigger for the rest of there life. (I.E spoiled) Now, if you take the same child, make him clean his room and you give him a treat that is proportionate to the work done, they will understand that little work bears little results.

This is a "training" tactic used by most parents who know anything. " But it's there child, they can raise them as they see fit" well, that is true, but I have to deal with these kinds of people after they are all growed up (yes i said growed) You can actualy tell the difference between the kids that were raised with the afor mentioned "tactic" and kids that were not. Ones that were brought up with the " The harder you work, the more you get for that work" thory in there head, they will work betterm faster, and more accuratly than the ones that were not.

Again, MOST of this is oppinion.

Sometimes you get the spoiled kids who are smart and work hard and get things way too easy. Though that is not usual theres this kid at my school who's rich and spoiled and makes fun of others and is one of the bigger jocks in the school. He had his mom read a whole book for him for his class and still managed to get a A on the exam because of the discussions babied spoiled makes fun of others based on financial status and is annoying as hell, but does well. I hate that kid.